humanity

Let’s Stop Lying to Young People

/ Rev. Evan Dolive / 8 Comments

My latest article for the Orange County Record

The Church for decades, maybe centuries, has been caught in a terrible lie.  For some people it is a lie that is has been so engrained as truth, they believe it as such.  This particular lie is one that when confronted or analyzed, many church goers would vehemently deny.  So what is this lie?  Answer- Children and Young People matter to the church.

I know that is a stout claim but is one that is not without merit.  For too long the church has been a place where those in charge or those who assumed the power set the rules, set the order of worship and set the way that a particular congregation is supposed serve and worship God.  Often this is done by people who have been in the church for sometime (generally all or most of their life) and they feel the need to continue on this tradition that they are used to.

Sadly in many congregations around the country the number of young adults and teenagers attending church services are dropping rapidly.  Sure you can blame parents or video games or being over extended with extracurricular activities, but that is a cop-out.  The real answer which may be hard to hear for some is that the church is unwelcoming to them.

If a child was raised in the church they know the stories of Jesus; they know how he touched people’s lives and how Christ came to show the love of God in the world.  They were taught at young age that God had gifted them with special abilities and talents and passions to be used for the work of the Kingdom.  And as children grow into teenagers, teenagers into young adults, the reality becomes more evident.  To be a participating member of most congregations, you have to be at least 45 years old, have been a member most of your life and you have “waited your turn.”  This is the perception of the church- people ‘punching’ their ticket and waiting until they have ‘paid their dues’ to be a full participating, active member of the church.

Young people are not leaving the church because they have objection with the teachings of Christ, rather they are leaving because they have no place in the church.   Sure churches do a great job with their nursery program, Worship and Wonder program and even youth and college programs, but after that the church has not done too well.  The church has bought into the lie that the late Whitney Houston promoted, that the “children are our future.”  This, my friends, is a bold face lie.

Children, middle schoolers, high schoolers, young adults are not the future of the church, they are the “right now.”

This segment of the population needs to know that their ideas, theologies, concerns, worship styles and missional thoughts are valid.  Too often churches try to squeeze all of this into one Sunday generally know as “Youth Sunday.”  On this particular Sunday the youth are able to read scripture, sing praise songs and even preach.  After that one particular Sunday service it is back to the same routine.  Some churches have a “children’s moment” but even then that has turned into a Sunday morning version of ‘Kid’s Say The Darnest Things’ or a well intentioned person is trying to cram too much theology in a simple metaphor.

In some congregations the children are separated from the rest of the congregation to have their own service of worship.  Many children enjoy and learn from this experience but once you hit age of 10 or so, it’s in the sanctuary with your parents.

There is a huge disconnect.

Matthew 19:14 reads, “Allow the children to come to me,” Jesus said. “Don’t forbid them, because the kingdom of heaven belongs to people like these children. ” (Common English Bible)

For the church to be relevant in society it must meet the needs of those around them.  Churches are losing the young adult population as well as the Baby Boomers, why?  They are tired of waiting to make an impact on the church and the world today.  But for this to happen, people in power and church structures are going to have to change.  It will take time and effort and faith; for the church’s sake I hope we are able to answer that call.

Let’s stop telling the lie.

Another New Project In The Works

/ Rev. Evan Dolive / 4 Comments

Back in April I told you about a new project that was in the works.  As of today, we had not heard any concrete information about whether or not our propsal will be accepted.  You can re-read the post here.

Well, on June 21, my project load doubled.   A friend of mine (Ray, check out his blog here) and I were at High School camp last year when we began to have a discussion about Christianity and society.  Even though we are only removed from High School by only 10-11 years, the world is completely different- the understanding of what it means to be Christian has changed, worship styles have changed and the way we encounter the Divine has changed.  Sadly, the perception of Christianity has not changed.  This made us ask, “why would anyone want to be a Christian when it seems so lame?”  and thus the idea was born.

So we contacted Chalice Press (our denominational publishing house) with our idea and they asked us to write a proposal for a book on this topic.   We are both in transitions in our lives but I believe we will get this completed soon.

Stay tuned for more updated from both projects!  Below is a very nice tweet from Ray’s wife about our project.

In Christ,

Rev. Evan

The Gospel According To Family Feud

/ Rev. Evan Dolive / 1 Comment

The other day I was watching TV and the game show “Family Feud” came on.  I have enjoyed the show in years past but it has been a while since I had ever actually sat down and watched it.  The very first survey question caught my attention.  It was:

Name a profession whose members will have a hard time getting into Heaven

Interesting survey question to say the least. What is “Family Feud”‘s goal here? By simply asking this question the creators/writers of the survey question were making a theological statement. To them salvation is found in how good of person you are AND there are people in this world who because of their choice of profession will not inherit the riches awaiting them in Heaven. While there are some who believe that Heaven is reserved for Christians only, there are some who believe that all of humanity will not be barred from the glories of God.

Not so says Family Feud…

Here is what the survey said:

  1. Lawyer
  2. Politician/Govt.
  3. Stripper
  4. Prostitute/Pimp
  5. Drug dealer
  6. Athlete

Other answers not making the survey:

  • Tax collector
  • Hit man
  • Con artist
  • Thief

One first glance the majority of the people listed by the survey are those that fit certain stereotypes. Polticans lie and cheat, lawyers lie to get their way, drug dealers are preying on the youth of America, etc. etc. The only one that didn’t make sense to me was ‘athlete.’ Sure in recent year in the age of steroids and mega contracts there are those who believe that professional athlete are nothing more than big, money hungry babies. Of course, this isnt always the case and I do point out that the survey did not specify between pro and amateur athletes, so looks like my league baseball days has punched my ticket to netherworld known as hell. 😀

The theology that Family Feud is promoting is one what widely labels certain professions as negative.  Forget the fact that there are lawyers that take on cases for free, forget the politicians who actually do their due diligence and serve those they represent, forget the athlete that is using his/her God given talents to play a sport and use part of their salary to fund charity work.  Just forget all of that… let’s make generalization… because that has worked in the past, right?

Am I making too much out of a game show?  Maybe, but maybe not; the fact of the matter is that theology can be promoted outside of a stained glass building.  Sure it is light hearted game show but is there an element of truth?  Yes, but a gross over simplification with an element of theology can be a scary thing; that’s just enough knowledge to be dangerous.  Now I am not sure how many people draw their spiritual knowledge from a game show but is a conversation that is happening outside the church in the public arena.

I believe people are seeking this conversation about the Divine in the world today… Family Feud is just starting it off for us.

In Christ,

Rev. Evan

Smile, Get Punched In The Gut and Smile Again

/ Rev. Evan Dolive / 1 Comment

Yesterday in the news it was a roller coaster of emotions. Generally due my schedule and the fact I have a 2 year old, generally I am watching Dora The Explorer not the nightly news. I try throughout my day to read varies news sites to garner what is going on in the world.

Yesterday a couple of friends on Facebook and Twitter (which sometimes is a good place for up to the minute news) posted an article about from the site Buzzfeed entitled “21 Pictures That Will Restore Your Faith In Humanity.” These pictures ranged from a Subway that gives free sandwiches to those who are homeless, a dry cleaner who will clean clothes for those who are unemployed to Christians holding up signs of apology at a gay pride parade. All 21 pictures showed the power of humanity at its best. Take a look here.

Smile.

Later on in the day I saw a video that was quite disturbing and to be honest I didnt even finish it; my heart broke about 45 seconds into it. It is posted below and give the nature of the internet it was spread rather quickly. If you havent seen the video, you can watch if you want…again is hard to watch and there is some language involved.

In a nutshell a grossly underpaid bus monitor was verbally abused by a bunch of Middle Schoolers. The insults ranged from calling her fat, to wishing she was dead to claiming that her family wanted to kill themselves not to be around her.

Hateful… hateful… hateful speech. No human being should EVER be subjected to kind of abuse that she was put through.

I’m not sure (as of this writing) what the school will do if anything to the children that were involved. If I ran the show (and if my opinion mattered) I would expel the children from the district for abuse and assault of a school employee, give the bus monitor the entire summer off with pay and reassign her for the upcoming year. Maybe that punishment is too harsh and maybe I am allow my emotions get in the way, but I believe I am not alone in this. The Greece New York School District has posted a statement regarding the video, stating that they are looking into the situation. (Read it here)

You can blame the system, their parents, violet video games or language in PG-13 films; whomever you blame this is a problem of humanity in general. How can in one day we see the goodness and beauty of humanity and then be punched in the gut with the realization that we are flawed at our core?

Is there still hope for humanity?

Harnessing the same internet that brought this painful event to light, people from across the country and maybe the world, has poured out their thoughts and feelings as well as their pocket books all to send the bus monitor on a vacation of a life time.

At the publishing of this post, over 14000 people had contributed money to the total of $300,000 with 29 days left to go in the campaign; that is an average of $21 per person. At this rate, it will be well over a million dollars sometime next week. (You can track and contribute to the cause by clicking here.)

Smile again.

Once again, humanity triumphed over hatred. Maybe we have learned from our previous mistakes and try to instill them into the next generation as best as we can.

For me as a follower of Christ, I am overwhelmed by the number of times that Jesus called for love of the neighbor and love of the other. A friend of mine is working to start a new church plant and his new church’s vision statement is one that I believe has the possibility to change the world and even the Church as we know it.

Dare the world to radical selflessness

Imagine a world of selfless people, imagine a church with selfless people (I’m not saying that they are not there but we could use a few more). The possibilities of what could be done for the Kingdom of God are endless.

How many of these children on the bus claimed to be follower of Christ yet participated in this grave act? I’m not saying you have to be perfect to be a Christian but Christ calls us to a higher and better standard.

The world will always have selfish people in it. It is how we as followers of Christ are able to show that the world needs less selfish and more selfless what the message of Christ can be shared.

The gospel is more than just nice stories of written in a book. It is a testament of how the God of all creation is in the business of restoration and love than hatred and scorn. The gospel thus is only fully actualized when we do as Christ says and “deny ourselves.”

In Christ,

Rev. Ev

When Humanity Rears Its Ugly Head

/ Rev. Evan Dolive / Leave a comment

This is my latest article for the Orange Country Record.

This week marked the fourteenth year anniversary of one of the worst acts ever inflicted on another human being.  On June 7, 1998, James Byrd, Jr., a Beaumont native, was savagely murdered.  He was murdered not by accident rather for the simple fact that he was an African-American man.  In one gruesome act, three white supremacist let intolerance of another human begin blind them to drag a man behind a truck until his death in the small Southeast Texas town of Jasper.

One of the three who took part in Byrd’s murder, Lawrence Russell Brewer, never apologized or sought forgiveness in the public eye. In fact, before his execution in 2011 he said, “As far as any regrets, no, I have no regrets. No, I’d do it all over again, to tell you the truth.”  A chilling answer.

Humanity on the whole has never been perfect.  Wars have been fought over small amounts of land; people in roles of authority overstep their boundaries in search for more and more power.  There are even laws are in place to protect individuals against bad business practices and to ensure our food is handled safely.

In the book of Genesis, the author writes that at the end of the creation story, God declared that the world was “very good.”  It must have been a really nice place, but not so much now.

In the midst of all of this, the Church is called on to make sense of it all.   The church is called to try to bridge the gap that seems to exist between what should be and what really is, to try to answer the question of why there is such a disparity.  Surely not all of this is consequence of sin way back in the Garden of Eden.

Thomas Merton, a Trappist monk, once wrote in his text “The Seven Storey Mountain”: “It is only the infinite mercy and love of God that has preserved us from tearing ourselves to pieces and destroying [God’s] entire creation long ago. People seem to think that it is in some way a proof that no merciful God exists, if we have so many wars. On the contrary, consider how in spite of centuries of sin and greed and lust and cruelty and hatred and avarice and oppression and injustice, spawned and bred by the free wills of men [and women], the human race can still recover, each time, and can still produce men and women who over come evil with good, hatred with love, greed with charity, lust and cruelty with sanity. How could all this be possible without the merciful love of God, pouring out [God’s] grace upon us?”

At our best humanity can be full of compassion and love and care, but at our worst humanity can be greedy, hateful and repugnant.  Contrary to popular belief followers of Christ are not immune to this.  Some of the worst atrocities ever committed have sadly been in the name of God.  For some, this is an indication that Christianity does (or did) not care of people’s relationship with God rather their focus is on being correct.

Christ’s ministry on earth was grounded in the notion of love, care and acceptance.  Christ came to establish a way of understanding and relating to others as well as to God.  But more than that Christ was the embodiment of the Divine on earth.  As Christians we strive to emulate Christ in all that we do but sometime we fall short.

I have no answer to what drove three men to brutally kill another human being.  We can blame their upbringing, we can blame drugs, we can blame violent video games, we can blame a health care system that doesn’t adequately treat those with mental illnesses.  But that is too easy.  In the end we have to look inside ourselves.  Stories like this one make our stomachs turn into knots over the loss of innocence.  At some levels we empathize with Byrd family but know that it is the human condition, a condition that is in every person on earth, which drove these men to kill.  Does that mean we will do the same? No, but it does mean that it is not some external influence that is causing crimes around the world; it’s the simple fact that we are human beings, driven to do what we want, when we want it with no regard for others.

This is what Christ came to stop.  The answer to the human condition must be found in the gospel.  Christ’s message of love was revolutionary and it can do the same for us today.  The gospel can restore people to completeness and wholeness.

At the end of the day, people like Lawrence Russell Brewer are children of God, created in the same divine image as the most religious, well-intentioned Christian.  It might be hard to believe, but it is true.

You And I Aren’t So Different

/ Rev. Evan Dolive / 6 Comments

Here is my latest article for the Orange County Record.

It’s a common question.  It’s is a question that comes up in the most general and basic of conversations.  You could be at a party for a friend, meeting someone for the first or in the chair getting your haircut.  The question arises: “What do you do for a living?”  For most people when they answer question the response is one that is met with probing or clarifying questions, not when I answer.

You see when I tell people what I do it strikes fear in their heart, I tell them: “I am a minister.”  All at once a wave comes over their face as if they are shocked that a minister would come out from behind the pulpit and Bible commentaries to venture out into the world of sinners and commoners.  Eye contact lessens as if people don’t want me to peer into their soul and see them for who they truly are.

Generally people immediately begin to tell me about their religious preferences and experiences.  If the person I am speaking had not interjected what I call “God talk” yet, they promptly add it to the conversation.  They will tell me about their minister’s sermons from the previous Sunday to prove to me that they were listening and that his/her teaching was effective.  Someone actually turned on the Bible on CD while I was receiving a haircut.

Once someone inquired about my job and told them that I was a minister.  They told me about their lack luster church attendance.  This person in particular had stopped going to church because the service in the church she was attending was not connecting with her on a deep, spiritual level.  If she had just told me that part of the story I would have been fine and we might have continued our conversation about her religious experiences or maybe abandoned that track and began a completely new conversation.  Rather she began her conversation by informing me “I really don’t go to church that much, I mean I am not a devil worshiper or anything like that but I just don’t care for the service at my church right now.”   Since when did not going to church for Christians become devil worshipping in a minister’s mind? Is that the dichotomy that exist– Worship God or you are a devil worshiper?  Is this is perception that people have of ministers?   Do people really think that I am a perfect, pious, self-righteous, judgmental person who goes from place to place condemning people for their lack of faith and church attendance?

Sadly that is an accurate description of about one percent of the ministerial population, but not me.

Ministers are human beings; we are people just like you.  We go to the store, we shop online, and we try to make ends meet month to month.  Ministers have taken on as their call or duty to ensure that the message of Jesus Christ is promoted and propagated in the world.  Yes many ministers are educated in theology, divinity and pastoral care, but knowledge of the Bible and having good skills in the pulpit does not make one perfect.  Yes ministers are seen as the spiritual leaders of their congregations but to place the label of perfection places a great weight on minister’s shoulders.

Ministers don’t walk around singing “The Old Rugged Cross” and quoting scripture, rather ministers have to find a way to get the kids to soccer practice, homework completed, dinner on the table and make that two hour evangelism committee meeting on top of writing a sermon, making visits and calls.

Am I perfect? No, far from it and I don’t claim to be.

I listen to music other than gospel (gasp!)

I make mistakes just like everyone else. (double gasp!)

I sometimes don’t pray as often as I should. (heretical gasp!)

Does this make me a less effective minister?  I don’t think so, but it does make me human.  Christ came to the Earth to restore people to wholeness and mend people in their brokenness.  Nowhere in the Bibles does Christ command his followers to be perfect, rather he understands that humans are flawed individuals seeking completeness.

So the next time you see a minister tell him/her that you hope they are well and not too stressed, especially during the holy times (Advent/Christmas and Lent/Easter).  Don’t try to impress them with your knowledge of Bible verses or church history.  Don’t treat them any differently than you would treat anyone else.

So as you can see, you and I aren’t that different after all.