Below is the link to the sermon I preached entitled “You Will See Great Things” based on John 1:43-51.
Sermon Link
(Recorded by Voice Record Pro by Bej Bej Apps for iOS)
In Christ,
Rev. Evan
Author: Rev. Evan Dolive
Sermon: “Doctor, Doctor”
Now that I am a Chaplain in Beaumont, I thought I wouldn’t be preaching as much, but I was wrong. I have been asked by a Disciples of Christ congregation in Beaumont (Northwood Christian) to fill their pulpit for the month of June. I was honored that they asked and happy to do it.
Below is the link to the sermon I preached entitled “Doctor, Doctor.”
Sermon Link
(Recorded by Voice Record Pro by Bej Bej Apps for iOS)
In Christ,
Rev. Evan
I’m One Of The Coolest Dads On The Internet??
Today I found out that I was listed in the Top Five Coolest Dads on the Internet by People Magazine! They ranked me number 3!
Here is what they wrote:
When Evan Dolive, a reverend from Houston heard about Victoria’s Secret’s Bright Young Things collection, he wasn’t exactly running to the mall. Based on observations of the collection – which ranged from polka-dotted hipsters screen-printed with the phrase “Feeling Lucky?” to thongs emblazoned with the words “Call me” on the front – he was worried the iconically sexy retailer was targeting middle school-aged girls. And so he thought of his daughter, a 3-year-old who loves princesses, peanut butter and jelly and drawing pictures for people.
“I want my daughter (and every girl) to be faced with tough decisions in her formative years of adolescence,” he wrote in a March letter on his blog. “Decisions like should I be a doctor or a lawyer? Should I take calculus as a junior or a senior? … I want my daughter to know that she is perfect the way she is; I want my daughter to know that no matter what underwear she is wearing, it does not define her.” –Written by Alison Schwartz on people.com
I am honored to be selected for this list. As I have said many times before (and will say many times again), I never thought that my letter to Victoria’s Secret would ever garner this much attention.
Thanks to everyone for reading and supporting me on this journey!
A BIG THANK YOU TO PEOPLE.COM AND THE AUTHOR ALISON SCHWARTZ!
If you would like to see the others listed click here for the full article.
In Christ,
Rev. Evan
I Take Children’s Books Too Seriously
I enjoy a good book. I’ve liked books from when I was a child reading when I was three. I didn’t care for the readings that were forced upon me in High School English but after college I learned to enjoy reading again. I like being caught up in a story, finding a book that you can’t put down and having that sense of accomplishment when I close the book for the final time. I like to delve into a person’s biography to learn about their development and the reasonings for beginning their life’s calling. Ever since I attended seminary my list of books on my “to-read” list has been ever growing. Due to the rise of technology books can go with us with general ease. I love my Kindle and when I don’t have it I know the Kindle App is right there for me.
But all of that goes out the window when it comes to children’s books. To be honest, I love children’s books. It started when I was a kid; my mother is a Kindergarten teacher and I liked to read her latest addition. I thought they were cute, funny, simplistic and even poignant.
When I became a parent I knew that at some point the daily routine would including reading stories to my child. I knew the stats about verbal ability and cognition with respect to a child hearing the language.
But that changes when you have to read the same book over and over again before bed with your child. I, like many parents, have tried the reverse psychology to get out of reading “Chicka Chicka Boom Boom” for the 147th time that month, but it never works. Hiding them never works either; we have to look through the entire bookshelf until the book “magically” reappears.
So whatever the book choice is, I read it, sometimes by memory and sometimes with a smile on my face. Sometimes as I am reading the book in my head I am adding witty banter and commentary for two reasons: 1) it helps me to stay awake and engaged in the story and 2) the book will be entertaining to me and not a chore. As hard as I try it can be difficult to be fully present at bedtime readings.
But maybe through it all I am taking children’s books too seriously. Have I been jaded by my 30 year old eyes in which I see the world? Do I see children’s books as more fantasy than reality to which we are propping up our children? Do I need to learn to relax and enjoy some easy reading? Maybe…
For example, my daughter has this book about going to the doctor. It’s a cute book but there are some glaring issues that I see in it. First, the boy is sick and needs to go to the doctor. His mother takes him but also takes his friend along with him because she had a tummy ache last week and needed to go back for a check up. I get what the author is trying to do here; the author is trying to show that sometimes we have to go to doctor even if we feel better to ensure everything is ok. But that is not what I have an issue with. First, the two children are holding hands throughout the book. My first thought was “isn’t the boy sick and won’t that transfer the germs to the girl?” Secondly, is it legal for the mom to take another person’s child to the doctor? I used to work in a healthcare setting and my HIPAA alarm was going off. Finally, the examination room was the size of a small house. The room had a table, an area to play for the child who wasn’t being seen, a desk with a computer for the doctor and a view of a beautiful landscape. In what fantasy land does this place exist? In my experience of exam rooms, they are about the size of a janitor’s closet and have maybe two chairs and several copies of Zoo Books from 1987 in them, with diagrams of the human body and Care Bears adorning the walls.
Maybe my beef with children’s books is that I wish that they could be reality. In children’s books the world is so much simpler. Animals talk and walk and in some cases run for President, the doctor is not a scary place to go, there is generally a resolution of conflict is a manner of distributive justice and good moral teaching. As a father that’s what I want for my daughter, but I know that truly is a fantasy. I know that the world is not as happy and pretty as the books make it, but maybe that is why we read them in the first place.
Maybe I do take them too seriously from my adult perspective, but for a child I believe that they can be a glimpse of what can be and how humanity can act or even should act. Books offer an escape from the world around us; they allow us to enter into a place for maybe a moment to find respite and to use the power of our imagination.
I have no plans to stop reading to my children or stop taking them seriously, but I do hope for the idyllic worlds found within the pages of children’s books will come to life in their lives.
Here’s to the dreams that children have, may they come true.
In Christ,
Rev. Evan
New Series and I Need Your Help!
As a minister, a question I am often asked is “Why isn’t the Bible easier to read?” It would be nice if the canon of Scripture were in a way that was a easier to digest or even understand. The Bible contains the faith stories of a time gone by. The Church uses these texts as guides as how to live a faithful life. Through the stories of the prophets, the ministry of Jesus and even the letters of the early church we can learn how God moved and impacted the lives of the faithful.
However the Bible is not just filled with slogans and saying applicable for T-shirts, church mottoes and bumper stickers; some of the messages or even commands make us scratch our heads and ask “how in the world did that make it in to a book of holy scripture?”; “Did God really intend for that to be the standard of holiness?”
Today I am announcing my intention to start a new series.
Over the course of the next few weeks (maybe longer), I will explore some of the harsh messages found in the Bible. I am not saying that I will figure them all out but I will try to engage in a dialogue with the text.
Here is where you come in. What are some of the messages or stories in the Bible that you find harsh?
Fill out the form below and submit them to me. You never know yours might be chosen!
In Christ,
Rev. Evan
Final Sermon at Bethany Christian Church (DOC)- It All Ends With Love
On May 26, 2013, I preached my final sermon at Bethany Christian Church (Disciples of Christ).
I was serving there as their Interim Minister. On June 3, I will be a Staff Chaplain at Saint Elizabeth Hospital in Beaumont, Texas.
Leaving is never easy to do but I am looking forward to the new opportunities that await me.
To the members and friends of Bethany, thank you for the opportunity to serve as your Interim Minister.
Sermon Link (Romans 5:1-5)
In Christ,
Rev. Evan
Guest Post: The Problem of Human Trafficking is Too Big-Why Bother Trying to Help?
Kimberly Rae is a best selling author, blogger and world traveler. She blogs about a variety of topics but one that is close to her heart is human trafficking. She was kind enough to blog about my letter to Victoria’s Secret and I am happy to have her as the first guest author on this blog. If you would like to be a guest contributor, click here for more info.
Below is her guest post; be sure to check out her site- www.kimberlyrae.com
The Problem of Human Trafficking is Too Big-Why Bother Trying to Help?
A 15-year-old girl and her 14-year-old cousin got permission to walk down to a local Wendy’s late one night to get a couple of Frosties. While they were walking, a car drove up, and by the end of that night, these two girls had become just a tiny, tiny addition to the thousands of minors trafficked in the United States of the America, the “land of the free and the home of the brave.”
Now those two girls have been rescued and are home again. The older girl tells her story in a video on the website www.truckersagainsttrafficking.com, a video that will hopefully be part of required training for men joining the trucking industry in the future.
Why? Because things will never change unless people care enough to act. I think many of us look at the huge statistics and decide, why bother? There are 20 million slaves in the world today. It’s a problem too big, one person can never make a dent in it.
That’s true to an extent. Each of us on our own are pretty powerless to change the huge statistics. None of us can expect to do the impossible.
However . . . we can make a difference in one life. It may not seem much, but if that one person was your daughter, or your friend, or yourself, wouldn’t you want someone to “bother”–to put forth the effort to make a difference even if they couldn’t save everybody?
I would. As I place myself in those young girls’ shoes, being forced to sell myself to strangers, staying because of threats against my family or my own life, I know I would desperately want to escape but likely not have the courage. Or the resources.
But if someone came along, someone who didn’t just look through me but really saw me, if they cared enough to ask one or two important questions, then make just one phone call–a call that would deliver me and give me back a future, I would reach out for the freedom offered me. I would grasp hold of the possibility of a future and a hope.
Isn’t that, after all, what Jesus gives us? (Jer. 29:11)
And wouldn’t He rejoice to see us doing that for others?
That’s what happened recently when those girls who’d been trapped for 10 years in a home in Cleveland were rescued. All across our country, girls (and some boys too) are being taken, trapped, and forced to sell themselves against their will. A major part of this happens within the trucking industry. Girls are taken to truck stops, where they are forced to go from truck to truck, offering their “company.” They even have a name. Lot lizards.
But things are changing. Thanks to Truckers Against Trafficking, men are finding out that many of the girls they see do not want to be there, no matter how they pretend. Truckers are making phone calls to the human trafficking hotline—1-888-373-7888—and girls are being rescued.
One man called in his suspicions and, without endangering himself, caused the rescue of 9 young girls and broke down a 13-state trafficking ring. Just one person! Just one phone call.
Helen Keller once said,
“I am only one, but still I am one.
I cannot do everything, but I can do something.
I will not refuse to do the something I can do.”
If this can be said and lived by a woman who could not hear or see, shouldn’t we be inspired that we can do our part, too?
So let’s stop looking at the massive need, the big statistics, or our own limitations. Instead, let’s become aware, and be ready to respond if God places someone before who is in need. Our actions and reactions may make all the difference in the world to someone who right now is trapped, and desperately wants to be free.
Go with God,
go for God,
go because God goes with you.
For of Him, and to Him, and through Him are all things, to whom be glory forever. Amen.
Romans 11:36
Kimberly Rae has lived in Bangladesh, Uganda, Kosovo and Indonesia. Her Christian suspense/romance novels on international human trafficking (Stolen Woman, Stolen Child, Stolen Future) are all Amazon bestsellers. Rae is currently working on a new series on trafficking for teens. Find out more at www.kimberlyrae.com or like Kimberly’s facebook page, Human Trafficking Stolen Woman, to get updates on the fight against human trafficking.
What A Difference 3.8 Million People Make
Two months ago today I clicked publish on a post about Victoria’s Secret Spring Break Collection called “Bright Young Things.” The aim of the letter was to let Victoria’s Secret know (as well as whomever would listen) that I disliked their marketing to a younger demographics and how they set up an unattainable standard of sexuality and beauty.
To date the letter has been read/viewed on this site nearly 3.8 million times from all around the world. The letter is still be read today and shared over the internet.
To date the letter has been shared on Facebook over 765,000 times, on Twitter over 5100 times, almost 100 times on LinkedIn and over 550 times on Google Plus.
I want to take this time to say thank you for everything!
Because of the exposure I received, I have begun to contribute to a few websites- the Good Men Project, Sojourners and RadicalParents.com. I am humbled and honored to contribute to these great sites. I will try to post my articles here whenever I can.
I have been completely overwhelmed by all of this and I all of you to thank. Without you sharing, liking, emailing and commenting- none of this would have ever happened.
I still have not had an official response from Victoria’s Secret (and I do not expect to), but another clothing company did.
About month ago Fruit of the Loom contacted me to let me know that they had seen my letter online. They liked it and wanted to send my daughter “age appropriate” underwear. They sent my daughter 10 pairs! She was so excited to get them in the mail.
I want to take this opportunity to say a big THANK YOU to Fruit of the Loom. Thank you for generosity and for thinking of my daughter! (The items pictured can be found here and here.)
Thank you again! Keep reading, sharing and liking!
In Christ,
Rev. Evan
Disney Princesses, Merida’s Makeover, and Empowering Girls
My latest piece for Sojourners
Having a 3-year-old daughter opens your eyes to a world that you did not know existed, the world of princesses. Disney has cornered the princess market; there are currently 11 official Disney princesses, and if you are brave enough to travel to Disney World/Land or even a Disney store, you will soon find out that there is a plethora of accessories — dresses, placemats, and cups (just to name a few).
Disney has come under fire in the past for focusing only on Caucasian women — Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) and others. But over time, non-white princesses were introduced, like Mulan, Pocahontas, Jasmine, and Tiana.
Disney’s latest princess was Merida from the film Brave broke most of the Disney princess rules. She didn’t like pretty gowns, she liked to shoot bows and arrows, and her crowning glory was frizzy, wild red hair. Some people believed that Disney had finally broken the mold of the “damsel in distress” model of princesses that has been a dominant theme throughout many of the films. The trend actually started with Pocahontas and Mulan; maybe the theme of strong women role models would continue. Brave was a cute film with a wonderful message. Merida had a round face and was rough and tumble with her triplet brothers. She didn’t want fancy dresses or even want to be a princess; Merida just wanted to be Merida. She was the example of girls being girls, no matter how they look.
However, in a recent update, Disney decided to take the idea of Merida in Brave and throw it out the window. Merida, for her official induction into the Disney princess cohort, got a bit of a makeover. Merida 2.0 was taller, skinnier in the waist and had a slimmer face. Her famous bow-and-arrow set are missing, and her iconic wild hair has been tamed.
After the uproar that followed, Disney quietly pulled the newer version of Merida.
But my question for Disney stands: Why? What was so wrong with Merida that it warranted the change?
Disney made a statement with the creation of Merida, and it inspired girls around the world to live into who they wanted to be, not what society wanted them to be. Merida’s makeover told girls that, yes you can be who you want to be, but at some point you are going to have to fit in.
Brave’s director called the change “atrocious” in an interview with the Marin Independent Journal.
She continued: “When little girls say they like it because it’s more sparkly, that’s all fine and good but, subconsciously, they are soaking in the sexy ‘come hither’ look and the skinny aspect of the new version. It’s horrible! Merida was created to break that mold — to give young girls a better, stronger role model, a more attainable role model, something of substance, not just a pretty face that waits around for romance.”
Girls today need characters and princesses that are strong and powerful and reflect the society of today. I know that no one princess or character on Disney will ever be 100 percent inclusive of all people, but Disney at least needs to try.
Maybe sexualized images are more marketable, but that is not the point — empowering our girls is. I’m pleased that Disney has reversed its decision to alter one of their best examples of an empowered girl. I hope the trend of strong princesses started by this character continues.
Getting Bit By The Overshare Bug
Article I wrote for RadicalParents.com (link) and Good Men Project (link)
In a world where the majority of people carry a computer in their pocket, we have access to more information than in any other time in human history. It has been said that today’s modern smart phones have more computing power and memory than the entire Apollo 11 space ship.
Because of the information that we have literally at our fingertips different ways of connecting people have popped up over the years. First it was the ever popular chat room then it merged to Instant Message and then came Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, Foursquare just to name a few.
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg once said, “Our mission is to make the world more open and connected. We do this by giving people the power to share whatever they want and be connected to whoever they want, no matter where they are.” This liberty of sharing information can be a beautiful thing. Social media in its many forms allows people from all over the world to connect around a particular topic or event. Facebook and Twitter keeps people connected and interested in other’s life even if they are separated by thousands of miles,different language, culture and religion.
American society has integrated this notion of social media into its lexicon. Some people claim that engagements and pregnancy announcements or other major life events are not official until they are “Facebook official.” A tweet is not just something a bird does anymore.
For me I personally love social media; I am able to see pictures of my friends’ children growing up, I am able to ‘follow’ a family member as she travels throughout Europe, I am able to reconnect with people that I had lost touch with over the years. Social media is so popular because of the instant and ever changing nature of it. When my niece was born, I saw a picture of her on Facebook before I saw her in person; the crazy thing about that was I was at the hospital waiting for her arrival.
While are there are so many great attributes to social media, there are however some downfalls. For our children, these may not be evident or even that important. It took being bit by the overshare bug to make me realize how important internet privacy and sharing truly is.
The overshare bug is something that flies around and strike at anytime. It’s a pesky mosquito; its always there and you have to ignore it or at least live with it as best as you can. Getting bit can happen to anyone—even I was bit once; I was posting my lunch stops on Facebook, posting my Foursquare check ins on Twitter and posting pictures to Instagram of the most random things in my life; I even used Miso to post what TV shows I was watching. I truly believed that people would like to hear about my life in a more intimate way. It wasn’t until a friend pointed out the fact that I was sharing every place I was on social media via Foursquare that I had a wake up call. What I saw as harmless postings trying to garner more followers or interest in my life, my friend saw as potentially unsafe. I came to the realization that I cared more about putting stuff on social media instead of what was happening in front of my face. I was living in a virtual world instead of the real world.
So what exactly is the overshare bug? It’s a mind set or frame of reference in which you believe that nearly every aspect of one’s life has to be broadcasted on the internet– everything from what you are having for lunch, where you are and even what TV show you are watching. Our smart phones and tablets makes this so simple. Apple, Inc. has even incorporated Twitter and Facebook into their mobile operating system, iOS. Now, with just a swipe of the your finger you can share with the world what you are doing.
Facebook recently updated their web interface to include additional details for a status update– everything from what you are drinking and reading to feelings and what music you are listening to. From Facebook’s perspective it is just another tool to share one’s life with the masses, but from a parent’s perspective it can seem a bit much. Do my friends really need to know if I am reading “The Divine Comedy” and eating a Kit Kat? In my opinion– no.
This problem is that this is new for most parents. The Internet (especially social media) is a relatively new invention and thus uncharted territory. Technology is changing at a quick clip and for most parents they are just trying to keep their head above water. The tricky situation for parents (especially parents of Tweens and Teens) is how to convey that the over share bug is something to watch out for. Conflict arises when there is a disconnect between what the child sees as just playful information and a parent sees as over share.
To broach this conversation I would employ a couple of tips.
First, if you child/children are on Facebook or Twitter, be sure you are their friend or following them as well– not to stalk them or post embarrassing things but to know what type of information is being posted online. Both Facebook and Twitter have privacy options that allow the user to control what information is able to be seen. By parents bowing these options you will be able to walk through these options with your children. Encourage your child to learn them with you and discuss how these settings are important.
Second, remember the rule “if you want to share, less is more.” I understand the notion that children and even adults want to share with their friends what they are up to. This is fun to do but the less people know the better. For example, posting “I can’t wait to go see ‘The Croods’ tonight!” is perfectly fine; however, posting “I can’t wait to go see ‘The Croods’ with Sam, Pete, Ashley and Sarah at Winter Park Movie Theater on Highway 18 at 7:30pm!” is an overshare. Reminder your child/children that the latter of posts lets the masses know exactly where you will be at a particular time.
This rule is also important to use when using geosocial media like Foursquare or Facebook Places. These apps allow the users to “check in” and post this information to Facebook and Twitter; these apps pinpoint your location and even place a link with a map online.
As technology changes so will how we interact with it. Knowing how to effectively use technology will help to ensure our children’s safety when it comes to sharing information online.
Watch out for that over share bug.
In Christ,
Rev. Evan
Rev. Dr. Evan M. Dolive 