Author: Rev. Evan Dolive

A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father- Update

/ Rev. Evan Dolive / 1 Comment

Words can not express how honored I am to have my letter to Victoria’s Secret read, shared and viewed so many times over the last few days.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that so many people would read my letter and find something meaningful from it.   Since I posted the letter on Friday, March 22  at 6pm it has been viewed nearly 2.7 million times.  Yesterday, March 25, was the best day for the blog ever… 1.2 Million views in one day!  THANK YOU!!!!!

1.2 million

I have received emails and support  from people all over the world.

Many different news organizations and blogs have picked up my post and used it in their news story.

I have received emails and messages from teachers and professors stating that they want to use my letter as part of their curriculum – from everything from persuasive writing to business ethics.

Since I posted the letter, Victoria’s Secret released a statement on their Facebook page regarding “Bright Young Things.”  It read:

“In response to questions we recently received, Victoria’s Secret PINK is a brand for college-aged women. Despite recent rumors, we have no plans to introduce a collection for younger women. “Bright Young Things” was a slogan used in conjunction with the college spring break tradition.”

This does not, however, address the issue of using women in advertisements that overly sexualize them. VS has not addressed the issue that they are setting an unattainable standard for sexuality and beauty– THAT is why I wrote my letter.

The fact remains that when PINK was started in 2004 it was aimed for 15-22 year olds, so whether or not VS is “targeting” a younger demographic, they are already targeting 15 year olds. This is something that can not stand any longer.

According to Business Insider, the CFO of Limited Brands (the company that owns Victoria Secret) stated “When somebody’s 15 or 16 years old, what do they want to be? They want to be older, and they want to be cool like the girl in college, and that’s part of the magic of what we do at PINK.” Does this sound like a company that is NOT aiming toward a younger demographic?

I am so grateful for the response and I hope that the conversation will continue and that this important issue will be brought to light.

If you would like to contact me you can email me at evan [at] evandolive.com or by using my contact form by clicking here.

In Christ,

Rev. Evan

A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father

/ Rev. Evan Dolive / 2,835 Comments

An open letter to Victoria’s Secret regarding their choice to make an underwear line aimed at young teenagers. (Read about it here)

Dear Victoria’s Secret,

I am a father of a three year old girl. She loves princesses, Dora the Explorer, Doc McStuffins and drawing pictures for people. Her favorite foods are peanut butter and jelly, cheese and pistachios.

Even though she is only three, as a parent I have had those thoughts of my daughter growing up and not being the little girl she is now. It is true what they say about kids, they grow up fast. No matter how hard I try I know that she will not be the little ball of energy she is now; one day she will be a rebellious teenager that will more than likely think her dad is a total goof ball and would want to distance herself from my embarrassing presence.

I know that this is far down the line and I try to spend as much time as I can with her making memories of this special time.

But as I read an article today posted on The Black Sphere, it really got me thinking that maybe the culture that we currently find ourselves in is not helping the cause.

Recently I read an article that Victoria’s Secret is launching a line of underwear and bras aimed at middle school aged children. The line will be called “Bright Young Things” and will feature ” lace black cheeksters with the word “Wild” emblazoned on them, green and white polka-dot hipsters screen printed with “Feeling Lucky?” and a lace trim thong with the words, “Call me” on the front.”

As a dad, this makes me sick.

I believe that this sends the wrong message to not only my daughter but to all young girls.
I don’t want my daughter to ever think that her self-worth and acceptance by others is based on the choice of her undergarments. I don’t want my daughter to ever think that to be popular or even attractive she has to have emblazon words on her bottom.

I want my daughter (and every girl) to be faced with tough decisions in her formative years of adolescence. Decisions like should I be a doctor or a lawyer? Should I take calculus as a junior or a senior? Do I want to go to Texas A&M or University of Texas or some Ivy League School? Should I raise awareness for slave trafficking or lack of water in developing nations? There are many, many more questions that all young women should be asking themselves… not will a boy (or girl) like me if I wear a “call me” thong?

I want my daughter to know that she is perfect the way she is; I want my daughter to know that no matter what underwear she is wearing it does not define her.

I believe that this new line “Bright Young Things” thwarts the efforts of empowering young women in this country. “Bright Young Things” gives off the message that women are sex objects. This new line promotes it at a dangerously young age.

I implore you to reconsider your decision to start this line.

By doing so you will put young girl’s self-esteem, self-worth and pride above profits.

Sincerely,

Rev. Evan Dolive
Houston, TX

PLEASE REVIEW THE COMMENT POLICY

Please stay positive with your comments. If your comment is rude, it gets deleted. If it is critical, please make it constructive.

Giving Up Sleep for Lent

/ Rev. Evan Dolive / 2 Comments

 

Every year the story is the same.

 

Daylight savings time has once again reared its ugly head.  We have all effectively ‘lost’ an hour of sleep and for some people they are still trying to recover and adjust to this new schedule.  While this happens every year, it seems like we are always surprised when it comes around.  News stories and conversations are held on the effects of losing that one hour of sleep; people exclaim that Congress should do away with this antiquated practice to normalize our sleep patterns and outdoor activities.  Many places around the world and even here in the United States have abolished this practice, but here in Houston, we observe it.

 

How fitting is it that this year the practice of ‘giving up’ an hour falls during the time of Lent?  Lent, the time in the Christian calendar, where we journey with Christ to that fateful day in Jerusalem where he was crucified.  Many people during this time give up something that is meaningful or a part of their everyday life.  So as they go about their day and remember they are giving something up they are reminded of what Christ gave up for them.

 

One year I gave up caffeine for Lent; this one particular year I did not plan well enough and the church had scheduled a ski/mission trip during the beginning of Lent.  It was quite possibly the worst time to give up my morning cup of joe.  We traveled 12 hours to our first stopping point and I remember thinking that I had made the biggest mistake by giving up caffeine.  I was tired and run down, not from the lack of caffeine but because of the stress of travel and organizing a big church trip.  But as I reflected on what Lent meant, I began to remember where we were headed.

 

All Christians during the time of Lent are going to the Cross with Jesus.

 

We can not avoid it, we can skip over that section in the story, if we do we can miss the meaning found in the time of Lent.  Lent is more than just ‘giving up’ things, it is a call to refocus and reorient our lives.  Lent reminds us to pause, reflect, search and wait.  We know what lies ahead; we know the end result, we long to hear the angels shout “Hallelujah!”  But, we have to wait.

 

As we continue to go through Lent, may we be focused on the journey and the process not in what we are ‘giving up’ or leaving behind.

 

In Christ,

 

Rev. Evan M. Dolive

When Starbucks Is Thought Provoking…

/ Rev. Evan Dolive / 3 Comments
"my morning pick me up"

“my morning pick me up” via Instagram

Today I went out to run a couple of errands and more importantly to get a haircut. For the past few days I was starting to resemble Grizzly Adams or at least a distant cousin. After I dropped off my daughter at pre-school I made my way to get my hair cut at location near the church. I arrived at 9:30, but they did not open until 10am. Not a problem… why? Two stores down is a Starbucks.

I made my way into the establishment and purchased a Grande Tribute Blend and took a seat. I read emails and tweeted and like many High School girls I took a picture of my coffee and posted it to Instagram (see above). It was posted to Twitter and Facebook and I received a comment pretty quick on Facebook.

The comment was from a colleague in ministry in Indiana– Jay. He had an interesting experience at a Starbucks when he was getting his “morning pick me up.” He just recently started a blog and I thought his first post was quite thought provoking.

Here is a snippet of the post.

What I had just experienced is commonly called “Paying it Forward.”

It sounds like a really nice gesture, and it is. But as I was going through this experience, I was quickly thinking and processing my feelings. First was obvious, FREE COFFEE!!!! Then I thought, “How long has this been going on today?” I had seen a story on the local news about how one Starbucks in town had 50 some-odd people “paying it forward.” Then I thought, “I can’t be the guy who breaks this cycle and look like a total jerk. The social pressure to continue with this trend was very high. Then after I gave her my card, I thought, “Wait a minute, what if the person behind me just ordered a $10 coffee?!?!” I obviously did not have that kind of budget.

As I fell into the social pressure that was placed upon me by complete strangers, I pulled out of the parking lot, finally with my coffee, and I thought: ”WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT?!”

Jay took the experience of free coffee and the guilt associated with not “paying it forward” and views it in the lens of social justice and the Christian response.  This post is an excellent example of public theology and how Christians are called to be the light of Christ to all people at all times.  Good job Jay 🙂

I highly recommend that you read the entire blog post, click here to do so.

In Christ,

Rev. Evan

Review of “They Like Jesus, But Not The Church”

/ Rev. Evan Dolive / 4 Comments

It’s no secret, the church is in a decline.  Attendance and support for the Church has been in on a steady downturn for many, many years. A whole host of reasons have been given on why this is.  Some blame MTV and iPhones, others blame parents for not taking their children, while others blame extra-curricular activities and sports.  Whatever the problem might be, rarely does anyone blame the church itself and the people that are attending it.

Dan Kimball is a minister and author.  He noticed that when he met people and got to know them that there are a great number of people who like Jesus, but not the Church.

The book discusses what the Church has done to foster these views, and how to address them. Kimball encourages Christians to leave the “Christian bubble” and listen to what non-Christians are saying.

Through a series of interview Kimball articulates six objections that people have with the church. At first glance a person is who in the church and has a connection with God because of it might be defense and even dismissive. Therein lies the problem. Kimball argues that Christian live in a “Christian bubble” and therefore think they know and understand those who do attend church or even believe in God.

Here are the six objections

Objection #1: The church is an “organized religion” with a political agenda;
Objection #2: The church is judgmental and negative
Objection #3: The church is male dominated and oppresses females
Objection #4: The church is homophobic
Objection #5: The church feels Christianity is right and all other religions are wrong
Objection #6: The church is full of “fundamentalists” who take the Bible too literally.

Kimball does a good job of showing both sides of the issues, expect for number four; on this particular issue he touches on the accepting side of the issue but still comes down (and pretty hard I might add) on the side of homosexuality is sin.

Selected quotes from the text:

“The more we focus on what we stand for instead of what we stand against, the more we will line up with Jesus and his teachings about the kingdom of God, and the more we will be seen as a people who will believe in truth and love.”

“We need to be open and honest about the difficult passages and odd stories in the Bible. It seems more people are doing their homework about the Bible outside the church than they are inside the church.”

“Our goal should not be to get people to ‘go to church.’ We should be inviting people to participate in the life of the church community and to participate in the activity of God, not merely inviting them to attend our worship services.”

Kimball’s book may not be the end all be all to Christian evangelism and prevalence  but I believe that this book is a good conversation starter. Kimball glosses over a few things here and there but for the most part drives home the point that the church has to do something to reach out to the emerging generations.

I think that this text would be good for the leaders of a church or even an evangelism committee. The point of reading this text is to start conversation, not to change minds… that takes time.

Link to Amazon

Rating: 3.75 stars out of 5

Happy Reading!!

In Christ,

Rev. Evan

Sermon- “And God Showed Up”

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Today I preached a sermon entitled “And God Showed Up” based on Luke 9:28-36.

Sermon Link

In Christ,

Rev. Evan

Review of “Rogue Saints”

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The first film featured at the Texas Christian Film Festival at Bethany Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) in Houston, Texas was “Rogue Saints.”

“Rogue Saints” tells the tale of two friends (Nick and Dylan) and a legend of a diamond buried under a church baptistry.  With riches in their eyes, these two friends volunteer has maintenance workers at a local church. Nick has a history with this particular church but a recent tragedy as left him jaded and on the outside.  Dylan isn’t a Christian and has many questions about the faith.  (There is a great scene of Nick trying to explain the Trinity and Virgin Birth 🙂 ).

Throughout the film, Dylan and Nick are faced with impossible odds, deep questions of belonging and even theodicy. The film shows how even in the toughest moments God seems to show up, even when we least expect it.

From rougesaintsmovie.com

Rogue Saints takes a comedic look at church people, church culture and the way God’s love really does change everything.

In the end, the film is heart warming and does show how the community of God can transform even the hardest of hearts.

3 out of 4 stars.

In Christ,

Rev. Evan

God In Our Midst: Review of “The Guardian”

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On February 14-17, Bethany Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) in Houston, Texas will host the first annual Texas Christian Film Festival.   You can learn more about the festival by going to TXCFF.com.  “The Guardian” is one of the films being shown.

“The Guardian” is a short film (15 minutes in length) written in 2010. The screenwriter was a sophomore at Pasadena High School when she won Houston’s Cross Wind Productions’ Teen Scriptwriter Contest.  The prize for her winning was to have her screenplay professionally produced. While most sophomore aged high school girls are worried about getting a date with the star quarterback, this screenwriter had her sights set on bigger things.

“The Guardian” is a wonderful film of finding God in our midst. The short film follows the life a young teenage girl who has lost her father and her way in life. Her home life is not the greatest and she is looking for someone. In a strange encounter, she befriends a homeless man who for some reason cares for her.  Through her interaction with this man (played by Houston’s own Wayne Dehart) she sees that God’s hand is active and alive.

While the film is short, the message is powerful.

3 out of 4 stars

 

In Christ,

 

Rev. Evan

Update: We have received word that this film is a finalist at the Milan Film Festival in Milan, Italy. Congrats!

Finding God In Tragedy: A Review of “Faith Under Fire”

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On February 14-17, Bethany Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) in Houston, Texas will host the first annual Texas Christian Film Festival.  From now through the festival I will be posting reviews of the films shown.  You can learn more about the festival by going to TXCFF.com.

June 22, 1980 was no normal Sunday. This particular Sunday in the quiet town of Daingerfield, Texas will never be forgotten. On this date, Al King, Jr. entered the First Baptist Church and opened fire, killing seven people including a seven year old girl.

This day and the days after it are the subject of a documentary entitled “Faith Under Fire.” (Trailer Below)

This film recounts the moments that changed so many people’s lives on a typical Sunday morning in Daingerfield.   Director Sondra Martin Hicks takes the viewer on a emotion filled retelling of the tragic events.

You can hear the pain, the anguish, the heartbreak, the “what ifs”, the “why them?” and the raw emotion still after 30 years.   Hicks weaves the story of the event and the the reflection of the event in a powerful way.  At one point, the viewer is able to hear the original church audio of the moment when King entered the church and opened fire.

“Faith Under Fire” examines how faith, community, love and justice co-exist.  For some this experience brought them closer to God, for others it was years before they could return to a relationship with God.  I began to question how I would react if my child or wife was killed.  Would I call for the death penalty?  Would I chose to forgive?  Would I hate the person who did this?  Could I ever learn to “deal with it”?

During this film you hear the reaction and thoughts of the family of Al King, Jr.  It was surprising to hear their version of that fateful day.  King was cold, mean and abusive and his wife and children were powerless under his reign.  In their minds, there was nothing that could have stopped him from committing the act of violence that he did.

In the end, this film brings up so many different emotions.  But through it all, the viewer  is left with a sense of how faith even under fire can hold up and restore people.

4 of out 4 stars.

In Christ,

Rev. Evan Dolive

God, Football and Theology According to Ray Lewis

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My latest article on houstonbelief.com

All eyes were on New Orleans Sunday night as the 47th playing of football’s biggest game between the San Francisco 49ers and the Baltimore Ravens.

Amid the $3.8 million 30-second commercials, blackouts and amazing plays, one player, Ravens Middle Linebacker, Ray Lewis was the focus on much of media’s attention. Lewis at the beginning of the playoffs had stated that he would retire after 17 years with the Ravens; this was his last run at another Super Bowl win. He has been in and out of the media light during his career; he was charged with obstruction of justice in a murder investigation and even been accused of using a banned substance.

However, after the Ravens had clinched their second franchise Super Bowl victory, Lewis was asked how he felt being a Super Bowl champ again he answered:

“It’s simple: when God is for you, who can be against you?” [Quoting from Romans 8]

So what exactly are you saying there Mr. Lewis? Was God only on your side or the Ravens’ side? Is God not a 49ers fan? Did the good people of Baltimore unite in prayer more fervently than those on the West Coast?

I am not denying that God gifted Ray Lewis with the ability to play a position in football better than anyone else; I am not denying that Ray Lewis has a relationship with God. Could his answer possibly have been an excited utterance, just something that he said in the moment? Maybe, but then again maybe not.

Was God’s hand in the mix during the Super Bowl? Did God cause the black out or cause the ref not to call passing interference that would have swung the game to the 49ers? And if God’s hand was in the mix why was the favor only for one team in league or 30 teams? God was just as much on the side of Ray Lewis as God was on the side for all of the 49ers, the Houston Texans, the Jacksonville Jaguars and every other human on the planet. No amount of status, fame, fortune or access to resources grants a person “more favor” with God. It just doesn’t work that way.

When it comes to public theology, one has to be careful. We have to be careful that we are not using a text for a purpose that it was not originally composed for. This is a very difficult skill to learn and one that has plagued the church for centuries. The Bible has been used for almost every major political, socially and “hot topic” issues; it has been used for having slaves and for the emancipation of slaves, for the promotion and denial of women’s rights, for and against the affirming of homosexuality.

When we come to the Bible we are bringing our own preconceptions or even our own “agendas.” If one is looking for a passage to make their theology work, well guess what, they are going to find it.

So congrats to Ray Lewis and the 2012-2013 Baltimore Ravens.

May we remember that in winning and in losing that ALL are all God’s children. God doesn’t love one person over another.

In Christ,

Rev. Evan