A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father

/ Rev. Evan Dolive

An open letter to Victoria’s Secret regarding their choice to make an underwear line aimed at young teenagers. (Read about it here)

Dear Victoria’s Secret,

I am a father of a three year old girl. She loves princesses, Dora the Explorer, Doc McStuffins and drawing pictures for people. Her favorite foods are peanut butter and jelly, cheese and pistachios.

Even though she is only three, as a parent I have had those thoughts of my daughter growing up and not being the little girl she is now. It is true what they say about kids, they grow up fast. No matter how hard I try I know that she will not be the little ball of energy she is now; one day she will be a rebellious teenager that will more than likely think her dad is a total goof ball and would want to distance herself from my embarrassing presence.

I know that this is far down the line and I try to spend as much time as I can with her making memories of this special time.

But as I read an article today posted on The Black Sphere, it really got me thinking that maybe the culture that we currently find ourselves in is not helping the cause.

Recently I read an article that Victoria’s Secret is launching a line of underwear and bras aimed at middle school aged children. The line will be called “Bright Young Things” and will feature ” lace black cheeksters with the word “Wild” emblazoned on them, green and white polka-dot hipsters screen printed with “Feeling Lucky?” and a lace trim thong with the words, “Call me” on the front.”

As a dad, this makes me sick.

I believe that this sends the wrong message to not only my daughter but to all young girls.
I don’t want my daughter to ever think that her self-worth and acceptance by others is based on the choice of her undergarments. I don’t want my daughter to ever think that to be popular or even attractive she has to have emblazon words on her bottom.

I want my daughter (and every girl) to be faced with tough decisions in her formative years of adolescence. Decisions like should I be a doctor or a lawyer? Should I take calculus as a junior or a senior? Do I want to go to Texas A&M or University of Texas or some Ivy League School? Should I raise awareness for slave trafficking or lack of water in developing nations? There are many, many more questions that all young women should be asking themselves… not will a boy (or girl) like me if I wear a “call me” thong?

I want my daughter to know that she is perfect the way she is; I want my daughter to know that no matter what underwear she is wearing it does not define her.

I believe that this new line “Bright Young Things” thwarts the efforts of empowering young women in this country. “Bright Young Things” gives off the message that women are sex objects. This new line promotes it at a dangerously young age.

I implore you to reconsider your decision to start this line.

By doing so you will put young girl’s self-esteem, self-worth and pride above profits.

Sincerely,

Rev. Evan Dolive
Houston, TX

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2,835 thoughts on “A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father”

    • I will do the same and talk to every parent I know, if we don’t stand up together and say loudly that we will not stand for this than its the same as acceptance! rock on all parents of girls everywhere, stand up for your angels , Renée c Anthony

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  2. This article does make several good points but as a young women raised in a Christian home even I disagree with some things. Wearing VS doesn’t mean you downgrade yourself or that it limits you in life. If you don’t want her to think that her underwear defines her then don’t raise her to think like that. Simple. Over sheltering her from the world isn’t going to keep her from it.

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    • The main point for me is the one he touches on least.
      The idea of girls/women as sex objects is very disturbing to me, and this reinforces that… telling girls that they’re only ‘bright young things’ if they can be considered sexually attractive.
      That’s what makes me personally ill over this line.
      I can tell my child about her self worth, and I can encourage her to define her self worth in other ways… but that doesn’t magically make her impervious to the social pressures and messages that she sees all around.

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      • Bright Young Things is just a name for a undergarment line though. It’s ridiculous that someone would think they have to wear that to be that. If that’s the case I must be Vain cause I wear clothes from Vainity. I must be pink cause I wear things from the Pink store. I must be 21 cause I wear things from Forever 21.

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      • They aren’t wearing it just to be a ‘bright young thing’.
        They would be wearing it to be cool, and ‘in’.
        No, I don’t think people are 21 if they wear clothes from Forever 21, that kind of sarcasm is counter productive and unnecessary… and completely not the point.

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      • See, Anon understands that there is nothing wrong with a woman’s line of intimate, sexy clothing broadening its consumer base to include young girls. Just because sexy clothing used to be reserved for full-grown women in the past, that is sooooo 20th century. Stop trying to keep children in their place, people. Girls can’t learn soon enough how to be sexy if they want to be successful in this world.

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    • In that case Anon @9:46 VS should also make a line of underwear and bras for 6 year olds with the words ‘feeling lucky’ on them, right? In your opinion, it wouldn’t matter.. it’s all about what is in the CHILD’S head and what the parents teach them. Because you know that YOU believed and followed everything your parents taught you and were in no way influenced by your peers, or marketing campaigns. Right?

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      • I never said that. And yes I felt peer pressure but didn’t feel the need to give into it because I knew the difference in what was right or not. I’m by no means perfect but I’ve never let marketing define me. While in MS/HS everyone believed you had to wear Hollister, American Eagle, etc to fit in but I never wore those things because it wasn’t my style and I had been taught to make my own choices. Not go with what is popular. And let’s be honest a 6 year old could never buy from a VS line. Where would the get the funds. Their parents would make that decision for them just how if their was a middle school line their parents have to buy that for them too. And parents already do so.

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      • Anon, My parents tried to teach me, they strongly encouraged me to have my own style. “Trends fade out, style lasts forever”, but I was a teenager and what do parents know? It’s a lesson I didn’t learn until I was in my late twenties. You are a rare bird, because very few kids can stick with their own style and ignore the tug of peer pressure. I managed to not give in to smoking or drinking, but when it came to clothes, music, etc, I wanted to be cool. Peer pressure is strong, and it does not necessarily correlate that if a child gives in to peer pressure that the parenting is lacking.

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    • I have to disagree, Anon. Wearing “” lace black cheeksters with the word “Wild” emblazoned on them, green and white polka-dot hipsters screen printed with “Feeling Lucky?” and a lace trim thong with the words, “Call me” on the front.”” is demeaning although the kid won’t believe it. She’ll think it’s kool because she’ll see it flashing across her tv screen, her computer, and on billboards.
      The media has a huge impact on our children. We can’t screen them from it.
      The people who are targeting this young audience should be ashamed of themselves.
      And they target them because they’re a huge source of income so they want to make the wildest most inappropriate items to lure them in. Kids at that age are rebellious and aren’t listening to Mom and Dad. They take their money and buy stuff like this, hide it, and wear it.
      It’s hideous that adults who should know better, target them and use their teen angst to make money.

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    • I think he was commenting the downgrading as more of wearing words like “wild”, “feeling lucky”, and “call me”- on daring undergarments. At that age, underwear should be underwear… Not something with an intention of showing it off.

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      • And if you read further into the matter the line isn’t geared towards middle school girls. No young girls do not need “call me” on their undies but the line isn’t being made for young girls.

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  3. Pingback: THIS! | em.power.me

  4. This is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. You want your kid to remain a kid, but have them out there raising awareness of “slave trafficking”? Let the companies sell what they want to sell. Let the parents parent the way the believe is most fit. If there is a majority of parents who are like you, then you won’t have to worry about it because the company will lose money making a line of clothes that won’t sell.

    Just as the government needs to start butting out of the churches business, the churches need to butt out of non-members business and let them live as they see fit. Preach to your members who to vote for and who not, I don’t care. But, don’t go protesting veteran’s funerals because you see the veterans as fighting for a country that is going down the tubes for supporting “gay rights”. You raise your daughter the way you see fit, and I will raise mine the way I see fit.

    And, yes, I do have a daughter.

    And, BTW, I sure would have loved to have been able to read that post that everyone else seems to be protesting. Sounds like someone else may have wanted to infringe upon another’s freedom of speech.

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      • Who are you to call Mike an idiot? Everyone has their own opinions on how to raise a child and what should or should not be emblazoned on their little girl’s bottom. People who call others names simply because they disagree are the reason America is so hateful.

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    • he means when they get older in school, he would rather have young girls think about their future instead of “oh i hope im not too nerdy, i really want (insert boy) to notice me” image is everything for children as young as 5th grade. do you really want them to already dress semi slutty? ive seen how young girls dress, im only 22 yet they dress as if they are 18 when they are only 9-12 years old. i would hate to find out one day [if i had kids] that my young daughter was raped or kidnapped because she decided to change the way she looked on her way to school or at school.
      parents are almost never home when their kids get off school so they walk home alone or with a few friends but horrible things can happen

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    • Dear Mr. Idiot:
      I feel sorry for your daughter. Are you sure that you are not one of those sickos who likes to see young girls flaunting themselves in skimpy undergarments, see thru tops, and shorts with their butt cheeks hanging out. U missed the whole point! I agree that parents should have the right to raise their kids in whatever way they deem appropriate but not if it is at the expense of the childs self esteem, safety, or anything else that could be damaging to the child. VS in the beginning was a line that was created for adults. Then they branched out into luring in the teen girls which would have been fine had they kept it clean and appropriate which they did in some ways but not in others. Now, they are going to prey on even younger girls to boost their sales and Im sorry but there needs to be a limit as to how far any company should go with their product line when it comes to children. Thats like saying that its ok for the dope head on the street corner to deal drugs to 6 year olds. I guess you think if a parent is ok with that then ” hey no sweat! Let them do it” Well raising your daughter may be your choice, but its guys like you that sure as heck dont need to be raising the rest of ours!

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    • Mike I don’t agree with you! The man that spoke up about the type of under garments that Victoria Secret is going to sell, is concerned about his daughter and others and is trying to bring awareness before they come out with their new “line”. As parents and grand parents we have to make a stand. The attitude just let them sell anything, is wrong. Yes we can keep our kids out of those stores in their young years, but friends may purchase them and his daughter may want some under garments like her best friend. And it will be impossible to keep this away from “his” child. To get to the point, if the temptation of wearing such things is there it gives children ideals and desires they might not have had other wise. So Victoria Secrets, if you want to “sell” a new line target the adults if you must!

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  5. Thanks, Rev. Your letter is a good deal politer than mine will be. The exploitation & sexualizing of our children by predatory businesses is something that could occur – and need to be opposed – only in our present off-the-rails culture. As recently as 20 years ago any company that attempted such a thing would have been boycotted out of existence; 30 years ago it would not even have occurred to anyone outside of the tiny pedophile ghetto.

    I will await the popular reaction with great interest – can our society summon enough remnant moral backbone to stop this latest assault? Frankly, I don’t hold out much hope. I think it has been about 20 years now since Ellen Goodman wrote her famous column about parents now being the true counter-culturists. In days gone by, parents could expect the culture at-large to assist in child-rearing – It Takes a Village, etc. Parents now have the grueling, thankless task of protecting their children from their culture. I say grueling because with the advent of the WWW it really is an almost 24-7 proposition.

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  6. So basically you are arguing that people shouldn’t have choice? Is that correct? I mean, what middle schooler has the disposable income to buy such clothing? Aren’t the parents in most cases buying this line of product for their daughters? If the parents are buying them (which in most theoretical situations, they are) you are demanding that Victoria’s Secret eliminate their line of product because you don’t trust your fellow citizens’ judgment? If the child is buying it, you are saying that this product will turn them into a self-loathing, sheep of a person? To me, your argument is made with the best of intentions but reveals more about you and your faith in humanity more than anything. You want to eliminate choice from daily life. This is just the tip of the iceberg for people of that nature. What’s next?

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    • And this gets you riled up? Underwear choice? Corporations do have a responsibility to culture. Encouraging precocious sexuality in children sets them up for sexual advances, seduction and rape.

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      • Yes, this gets me riled up. Have you ever heard of the snowball effect? People across this country cry, moan, complain, and disapprove of our civil liberties being taken away (and with rightful reason is certain cases) and you agree we should tell a business how to market and sell a product that the public ultimately gets to decide will succeed or fail in the end anyway? It is quite asinine of someone to see the logic in such a movement design to strip yet more personal choice away from people. So my question remains: What is next? Should we tell ice cream companies to stop selling chocolate and vanilla flavors until they can be sold which each color being swapped because it causes racism tension?

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    • After teaching 20+ years, I can only say that so many parents today want to be their child’s friend or buddy, not the parent. I am so sad when parents come to me and ask how to tell their children “NO” and be so afraid that their children will no longer love them. I think that is why so many parents purchase and allow their children to wear such vulgarity. Parents need to realize they are parents not friends.

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    • Trill, choice is a good thing, no doubt. But children don’t always make good choices – if they did they wouldn’t need parents.
      However this isn’t about choice, this is about a company, who like so many companies, are targeting young children in order to make money. It’s wrong.
      And yes, children do have money. They get allowances, they earn money by doing chores, they receive money as gifts for birthdays, Christhas, etc.
      And kids at that age will go for the things the media shoves in their faces because 1. they’re very impressionable at that age and 2. they want to be seen as “cool” by their peers and 3. they’re at an age where they’ll like just about anything if their parents don’t like it.
      And these companies are exploiting that. They’ve done it before and they’re doing it again because it works and they rake in the money with no conscience about how they’re getting it.

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      • Susan, I see what you are getting at but sheltering children from making choices, especially bad choices, hurts them in the long run. They become sheltered and unable to handle failure in their adult life if they don’t have the experiences needed to emotionally develop from making said choices.

        Not to mention, how exactly does wearing underwear that says “Call Me” on it a bad choice? Wouldn’t the “bad” choice be a 12 year old girl allowing some boy to see that underwear and potentially more? It isn’t the purchasing of the underwear that is the issue here.

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    • I am not sure where freedom of choice comes into this discussion.
      A letter requesting someone reconsider their idea is not a letter saying, “You must stop this right now”.
      Just as one person has the freedom to come up with an idea, someone else has the freedom to say, “Please don’t, I think this is a mistake.”
      There’s no restricting of freedom of choice here.
      There’s no religious agenda.
      There’s a man concerned that a company’s actions will have an adverse effect on the population of young girls, and voicing his concern.
      A concern that I share, and apparently quite a few others.

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      • I’m not trying to silence his voice and his freedom of expression. I am simply offering a counter-argument. I understand he isn’t aggressively trying to stop the line of product but he is trying to create an awareness so that a groundswell of support can possibly attempt to shut down the line which is essentially the same thing. He also provides no proof to his concerns. No studies. No information other than his opinion; an opinion of which was never said to have been religious (guilty conscience much?) And also, if people share this opinion, that is okay and their CHOICE. However, I offer a counter response to this opinion.

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    • Exactly. This is why I don’t understand why we have ratings on movies/video games/websites etc, deciding what is appropriate for certain ages. People should be making their own decisions, including children. Even the libraries try to say what books are good for this and that age-group. It’s like fascist-communist Russia-Germany-Iran, ya know? What’s next, a fashion holocaust just because some people don’t think little girls should be encouraged by mass media to dress up like hookers?

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    • This man is simply exercising his civil liberties and his power as a consumer, something many of us in this society fail to do. He does not lack a faith in humanity-he IS that very humanity to which you refer. Nowhere does he “demand” the company remove the line. However, he does appeal to the company’s better judgement and “implore” them to reconsider. In writing this letter, he has brought the company and its new line to the attention of many who might have been completely oblivious to its existence ( I would have been one of them). I don’t care for the premise of this line of clothing and will express that to the company and let them know I will not continue to buy their products. That is my freedom and my power as a consumer in a capitalist market. Will one person expressing their disdain for a product make a difference? No, probably not. But after this letter, I have a feeling there will be more than one. Oh,and as far as middle-schoolers and disposable income–clearly you have never had need of their babysitting services. They definitely can attain disposable income. 🙂

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      • Once again, I am not against his action of expressing himself. I am simply against his opinion. I love that he expressed himself. I simply think he is wrong for reasons I have stated. And if you read my other comments, you would know what his true motives are when he “implores” the company to reconsider. Is there no such thing as “live and let live” anymore?

        Where you see him as the shining ray of hope for humanity, I see him as part of the reason humanity is crumbling. Had he provided evidence to support his claims – which he didn’t – this might be a different discussion. It is his opinion against mine. All I wanted to do was offer an honest counter-argument before people say to themselves, “This man is wholesome and I support his decision” without actually thinking it through because our society doesn’t encourage creative, philosophical thinking the same way it does English, Math, Science, and History.

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  7. There’s also porn out there and some guys like it. That somehow your daughter could do it to be popular would be ludicrous.

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  8. I agree with Rev. Dolive little girls really need to live in a world where they are not exploited as a sex symbol at such a young age. In this day and age young ladies, teens and adults feel it is ok to show off there body and think the better they look, the more they need to show. Being a grandmother of two young girl’s I really would be quite upset to see them dressed like this..It’s like saying take me, I’m yours, look at me I reak of sex under my skimpy clothes….Girls need to show less of there assets and be seen for who they are, not for what they wear. Please take into consideration the innocents you would be undermining. The world does not need to reek of sex at such a young age. This letter will travel around the world and be seen by millions, I can only hope you will change your mind…keeping your under garments a seceret, for adults only.
    Sincerely,
    Concerned Grandmother

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    • While I fully agree with the essence of your post, I’m going to have to be that annoying commenter who points out that the fact that we still refer to (pre)adolescent bodies, and women’s bodies in general, as “assets” (“Girls need to show less of there [sic] assets…”) is part of the problem. Marketing campaigns encouraging twelve year old girls to wear “Feeling Lucky” panties are clearly a bigger part, but the words we use have power. In our daily lives, most of us can only do so much, but by being careful about the ideas we communicate, not only through overt meaning but through word choice (among other subtexts) can help shift paradigms.

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  9. I concur with Rev. Dolive. The self worth of young girls should never have the influence that Victoria’s Secret has in consideration at this time. I too request that they refrain from this marketing plan.

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  12. Maybe we should stop blaming society for everything. I was brought up in a Christian household but I was never over sheltered. They didn’t overly shelter me from the things of the world so that I wouldn’t be shocked by them when I grew up. And thanks to that I knew what was out there so I wasn’t overwhelmed but thanks to my up bringing wasn’t so tempted. Maybe if more parents had real conversations with their children and stopped blaming everything on society you wouldn’t have to worry about the choices your child makes.

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      • Would you rather see a nine year old smoke Camels, get caught because nine year olds really aren’t that sneaky, that can have an open, honest conversation with their parents about health/risks/peer pressure/etc. because his or her parents recognize that raising their children in a bubble doesn’t prepare them for the challenges and temptations of the real world, or would you prefer a child that was prevented from making and learning mistakes for so long that the challenges that adulthood’s freedom brings are overwhelming? Learing to live with consequences and apply critical thinking make for children that grow up to be happy, healthy, confident adults.

        *not that these are the only possible outcomes (for the sake of internet commenting etiquette or whatever you’d like to call it)

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  13. some people have taken this as a Christian trying to foist their beliefs on others, but it is not- any parent in this day and age who has to deal with such peer pressure as to let their young girls wear this stuff, which I am sure is expensive and certainly not something I would want my daughter to wear, would be horrified at such a line. In today’s society in general our children have enough to deal with and should not have to be tempted and ultimately pressured to be cool by wearing such underwear. They are not children for long and will soon enough have to deal with all sorts of pressures, let them be kids and give parents one less thing to worry about.

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  14. I applaud this father for taking a stand! We need more people wiling to stand up for what is right. Victoria Secret tells their extremely thin models that they are overweight just to keep them looking as they do. This was spoken about at a teen girl’ conference in my town by a former V S model who got out. She described it as the most empty and fake experience of her life being their model. VS only cares about the almighty dollar and not innocent females and their image. I for one will not buy their products!

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  15. I totally support what you’re saying. are young girls and young boys are suppose to weigh to much too early. I went through a rough. Of time with my girl when she was 14. she got involved with the wrong crowd. she paid your dues and is fine now and she also believe what you say is true that we are not defined by what we wear special underwear. I don’t even approve of the young women on the commercials! I feel it’s degrading to all women. I have been a nurse for 36 years and I’m proud of my profession. I lost my husband 5 years ago to cancer after 30 years of a great marriage. he was going to school to b a pastor and I know he would agree with what you say. why are we so quick to have our children grow up by advertising this everywhere. you can bet there will be some girls her age that will have that underwear!

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  16. To the Good Man who wrote this letter! I thank you from every corner of my heart for raising awareness!!! If Vic Secret offers this line , its sad for all the wholesome girls of today! PARENTS : I beg you teach your BOYS with respect and how to be a gentleman isntead of a “stud”
    To any young lady under the age of 18 yrs of age: life passes toooo quickly, enjoy your youth, sing songs out loud with your girlfriends, take up a hobby like photography or clothing design, you have years and years of men chasing you and you do not want your youth stolen because of an insecurity! You are all BEAUTIFUL!!!! There is ONLY 1 YOU!! And one day your soul mate will sweep you off your feet and ADORE your pure and innocent past! It is wayyy more powerful to love yourself than being used by boys! Band together girls!!!!! Pretty is beautiful, sexy is trashy before 18!!!!
    Sending hugs to all you young ladies out there that have had no guidance to know this is 10 miles of bad road you dont want to go down!!

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  17. VS is where a woman goes to pamper herself and to make herself feel “sexy”. If they want to introduce a line for teens, then it should not be provocative and it definitely shouldn’t say things like “call me” on them. Who’s going to see that? Obviously some boy, but lets not give “her” a reason to show a boy her undies.. Don’t entice!

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  18. My heart is broken over this! I have a 16 and 6 year old daughters and I wouldn’t want them to ever think that wearing this is appropriate. I’m totally shocked and dismayed that VS would even think of doing such a thing. I think they really need to think about the damage that it will do instead of the money that they will make by selling this terrible product on the market. I know that if the company decides to do this..that as a woman of God there will be a petition signed against it…that will make them wish they never put this product on the market. Very disturbing news, Ann Marie Perry

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    • What’s to check? The way the backs of thongs stick out the rear of those tight, low-cut jeans, nobody can help but notice.

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  20. I agree all the way with this… I am a mother of a 2 month old girl and I would never what her to do that stuff just to think she has to do what is always on tv or see’s others doing. I want her to be accepted as she is not for what she wears or how she repeats the bad stuff she see’s on tv and everything. I hope and prey that this new line does not go through because this stuff is not for children at all…………. Victoria Secrets has gone way to far with there underwear lines now.

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  23. Well said, the clothes manufactures need to stop making our youth’s clothes look like they were made for street walkers. (Trying to be nice here) it’s no wonder more and more schools are going back to uniforms.

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  24. Could not agree more. I am no prude, and have shopped at VS for my significant other a number of times in the past, but this is completely inappropriate. VS, if you persist I will never set foot in one of your stores again.

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      • Meomyo, you are completely wrong. Think about what you just said for a second. Preteens are 11-12 year olds…. Please think before you write something so ridiculous.

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  25. I certainly hope and pray they decide against this. It is a stupid idea and I sure plan to write them about this latest horrible idea, Thank you for listening to me, I am an 87 year old woman and the very thought of these ideas make me sick.

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  26. Wow! I commend this father for standing up against the ridiculous ideas that seem to become “normal” in our society. Victoria’s Secret is a HUGE company and would not be even releasing any word about this lien if they didn’t think it would sell…I’m sure they’ve done their marketing homework! This is NOT about “sheltering” your kids form the world, its taking one small step, with the hopes that others will followm to try to CHANGE it! But what REALLY shocks me is the response from others! I bet a million dollars some of the negative responses that I have read here would not have even been written, had the three letters REV been left out of the name at the end of the letter. This is NOT about religious views! Its about letting our kids be KIDS. We need to stop making them want to grow up so fast! Come ON people!

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  27. I wear Victoria’s Secret items and have been since the 7th grade. I am currently enrolled in college and am going to be very successful. Young girls always wear t-shirts that say ridiculous things like “Wild Thing” and “Call Me” on them. What is the difference if it’s underwear? It certainly does not mean they are lessening their chances at becoming successful women. I think you need to stop worrying so much and let your daughter grow up like everyone else does. Sheltering her is going to make her resent you and probably be a socially awkward teen. Trust her, raise her right, and let her decide for herself.

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      • I am well aware of people wanting their daughter to stay young forever. But it just doesn’t work that way. You have to let them grow up at the pace THEY feel necessary. I had to become a mature young woman and basically an adult at the age of 14. So don’t tell me to wait to have a child to voice my opinion. Life happens, so let it.

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    • Actually, I am now happy that my parents were as strict as they were. Some choices need to made for us when we are younger to teach us self discipline and how to set boundaries.
      Wearing such clothes may not change whether or not a woman becomes successful, but honestly? When I look at a woman or a girls wearing something like that, it makes me wonder how much they respect themselves.

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      • I wear whatever I want and respect myself more than any other girl I know. A pair of underwear is not going to deem a girl any less respectful. You’re honestly pathetic if you think that a person is what they wear. Your parents taught you wrong, my friend.

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      • I wear things like that and have plenty of respect for myself. No one sees them but me and its just fun. My self respect doesn’t differ because of the bras and underwear that I choose. It comes from many of years of learning to love who I am. I love who I am and fully respect myself.

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      • And when you are wondering if these people respect themselves, are you also wondering if they care about you what you think? It’s kind of putting yourself up on a pedestal there by thinking your opinion of someone else will influence their self-integrity if you want to go down that road.

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  28. Thank you, Rev. Evan Dolive, for your thoughtful letter to Victoria’s Secret. I agree with you and recall a similar issue with Abercrombie and Fitch a few years back, where they ended up pulling their line of padded beginner bras for young girls because of the parental backlash. I must ask this: Who are the parents buying these Victoria’s Secret undergarments for their children? While the company is responsible for making this line of clothing, ultimately it is the parents who are buying them for their kids, or allowing their children to buy them, and bringing them up in such a way that these children are finding them acceptable. This is a much bigger issue than Victoria’s Secret.

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      • Actually, kids will sneak regardless if they think their parents will notice or not. Some even do it to be noticed. It wasn’t that long ago that i remember pulling the wool over my own parents’ eyes. I made a lot of mistakes that i pray my own children do not make themselves.

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      • it’s not that they won’t try but it is up to the parents to actually OBSERVE their children, and notice when things change. For those people that are never home with their kids and just buy stuff for them or ignore and compensate need to get some priorities straight before putting the blame on others.

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  29. Ugh… MY little girls (when they reach that age) will NOT be wearing such things. I will just have to be the most un-cool parent ever and they will have to hate me daily. It’s disgusting to think of pre-teens wearing such things. I’d venture to say that most parents would not want their 13 year olds having sex, so why would we want them to wear provocative or inviting underwear!!!! Don’t you realize if they have items like this, they will want to SHOW them to people!!

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    • good for you! Do the REAL parenting thing, and not just flap your gums about it. Let them be mad for a while, they’ll get over it and it will teach them some value and self respect
      .

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    • it’s not that they won’t try but it is up to the parents to actually OBSERVE their children, and notice when things change. For those people that are never home with their kids and just buy stuff for them or ignore and compensate need to get some priorities straight before putting the blame on others.

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  30. Don’t want to leave negtative thought about this, but as a grandmother of a teenage girl,,,I completely agree with this message….Please don’t make life any more difficult for our young girls than it already is…just the thought that young ladies will have to decide if their self worth is worth the cost of not so classy underwear really upsets me.

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  31. I have a 15 month old granddaughter that I want so desperately to learn that her value is not in her body but the beautiful person she is on the inside. My goal is to teach her the things that are truly important in this life and the life after.

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  32. i don’t think a letter to vs will stop them from selling sexy underwear to 11-13 year old kids (or parents). . we are nearing the last days people . peoples hearts are groing colder and colder everyday.God knows your heart… do your best . The day of the Lord is near.

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  33. this is very empowering. As a 23 year old I hope to never see this for even women and ladies my age. It’s trashy and yes you are right… Will give little girls the thought that they are sex objects. I really hope this line does not go through.

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  34. I love this letter. I have five children and the younger of the brood are my precious daughters. I don’t buy Barbie Dolls because they are shaped according to society’s idea of perfect and beautiful. I don’t want my daughters to think that they are less than beautiful if they do not meet society’s definition of beautiful. I don’t buy any clothing that advertises anything, and definitely nothing written across the bottom. As a nation, we try to sell everything with sex and promote it entirely to early in life. None of this empowers women and this is what we should be doing for our daughters.

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  35. There are a great deal of arguments here, but I just wanted to add my voice as a twenty-year old female. I am thankful that as a teenager I was not pressured to wear the kind of stuff that VS is now advertising. I had great parents who taught me what was really important and a friend group that didn’t pressure me excessively. I am horrified that young girls who I know and love would be exposed to something like this. While, yes, there is the choice of parents to take responsibility, I also want to question what it says about us as a culture that we find this sort of thing acceptable. If we as a culture continue to say this okay, VS will continue to sell. I’m not saying we should ban this sort of thing, but let’s, as a culture, take responsibility for raising the kind of women and men that will respect each other as people, and not sexual objects.

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  36. I’m a 17 year old girl and I agree with him completely. When I was in middle school I didn’t have underwear with trashy sayings on them. I’m a senior in high school and though my underwear is from Victoria’s Secret it is “clean” in the sense that the only writing any of them have are PINK and HOPE. I always steer clear of underwear with sayings that I find to be provocative. Kids should be kids (and at that age parents are still washing their clothes which also kept me from buying anything that I wouldn’t want my dad to see).

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  39. THANK YOU! Seeing what some girls are wearing just to ‘fit in’ is repulsive. We’ve sexualized ourselves into a corner. What happened to good old fashioned morals and values? Kids need several years just to be kids, not miniature adults. No wonder our kids are so stressed out.

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  40. Thank you for your wisdom. I praise God that people are willing to stand up to consumerist injustices of the United States. May God bless this message and grant it favor in the eyes of Victoria Secret’s administration.

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  42. If they’re going to go after the tweenie and adolescent market, VS should be responsible enough to keep it age appropriate and inoffensive- especially to parents. Hipsters, briefs, and boy shorts in cute patterns with pretty details wouldn’t be a bad thing. I remember when I was that age, I wanted pretty underthings, even though the only people who saw them were the girls in the locker room, my sisters since we shared a room, and the doctor. Make a line that boosts self-esteem rather than centering self-esteem on sex.

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  43. I was a manager with Victoria’s secret for ten years. Back in the day they were a force like no other. We focused on WOMEN. GROWN WOMEN. Now not only has the quality of the product dropped it seems the companies values and morals have as well. Reconsider VS he’s right. It’s a mistake that will effect your daughters, neice ‘s, sisters as well.

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  44. Why don’t the parents that have to pay for the, incredibly expensive, underwear Victoria’s secret sells, just say NO! If the CHILD is old enough to pay for her own undies then there is no problem, if the parent is still providing for that child then it is the PARENTS responsibility to guide their children in the right direction. Why would you buy your young kid sexy underwear anyways, It’s called shopping for a pack of undies at Wal-Mart or target or any place cheap until the kid gets a job? Just don’t buy into the gimmick, let the line be a failure and move on.

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    • Actually, quite a few of the parents that are that rich? They give their children $80 allowances just for existing. Allowances that they don’t have earn. And they don’t supervise their children at the mall when they go to spend it, or their purchases.

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      • then those parents aren’t really being the guiding individuals they should be and deserve to have those messed up children.

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    • EXACTLY! You are the parents – say NO! I didn’t get to wear VS until I was 26 because my mother would not buy it for me. And when I did finally have a job, I could not afford them at minimum wage. I think that this father has a right to want to express his concerns – that is his choice. But for some of you to say that a company should not produce a line because your daughters will be thought of as “sexual” if they wear the underwear & bras is ridiculous! News flash…the way your daughter carries herself or applies her makeup or puts certain photographs out on Facebook or wears her hair can all give her the same reputation at school that you are so desperately trying to shield! If you don’t want her to have the underwear, tell her NO. If you are buying her the underwear, YOU make the choice of which ones are acceptable…there are ways of compromising that makes both parent and daughter feel like they are coming out ok if you choose to buy the underwear from VS. If you are worried about what she is spending her allowance on – think of another way to reward her for doing chores…at the end of the day – YOU are the parent!

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    • Personal insults make everything you say lose credential. You are 20, almost 21, and are resorting to childish insults.

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  48. Victoria’s Secret should be ashamed of themselves. They are being irresponsible and must be held accountable for the impression they are leaving on the younger generation. The models must speak up…they are the ones suffering from eating disorders, self esteem issues and chronic problems associated with this industry that puts looks above heart. Children being sexualized at such young ages should be against the law. This marketing ploy is a form of pimping and Victoria’s Secret should be very careful because some very smart person with connections can take this issue and SHOULD, to the top. I dare someone!! Go for it!!

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  49. We also have to remember, that more than anything, young people are far more influenced by who they live with than what is being sold to them in magazines and such. How many time have we commented on how cute a little girl is when she plays dress up in her mother’s clothes. So, take a look in your own closet as well and consider the example you are emulating to your children when you purchase those lace panties for your yourself and when you glorify sexuality every year with People magazines Sexiest Man Alive and the Sports illustrated Swimsuit issue. We often say it’s never too early to talk to our children about the responsibility of being good stewards with money, yet we refrain to have an HONEST conversation with our kids about their bodies and how babies are ACTUALLY created. YOU need to raise your kids and not expect retailers or anyone else to do it for you.

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  50. You are 100% correct on this matter! I hope that Victorias Secret changes there mind! Too me it sounds absurd!

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