A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father

/ Rev. Evan Dolive

An open letter to Victoria’s Secret regarding their choice to make an underwear line aimed at young teenagers. (Read about it here)

Dear Victoria’s Secret,

I am a father of a three year old girl. She loves princesses, Dora the Explorer, Doc McStuffins and drawing pictures for people. Her favorite foods are peanut butter and jelly, cheese and pistachios.

Even though she is only three, as a parent I have had those thoughts of my daughter growing up and not being the little girl she is now. It is true what they say about kids, they grow up fast. No matter how hard I try I know that she will not be the little ball of energy she is now; one day she will be a rebellious teenager that will more than likely think her dad is a total goof ball and would want to distance herself from my embarrassing presence.

I know that this is far down the line and I try to spend as much time as I can with her making memories of this special time.

But as I read an article today posted on The Black Sphere, it really got me thinking that maybe the culture that we currently find ourselves in is not helping the cause.

Recently I read an article that Victoria’s Secret is launching a line of underwear and bras aimed at middle school aged children. The line will be called “Bright Young Things” and will feature ” lace black cheeksters with the word “Wild” emblazoned on them, green and white polka-dot hipsters screen printed with “Feeling Lucky?” and a lace trim thong with the words, “Call me” on the front.”

As a dad, this makes me sick.

I believe that this sends the wrong message to not only my daughter but to all young girls.
I don’t want my daughter to ever think that her self-worth and acceptance by others is based on the choice of her undergarments. I don’t want my daughter to ever think that to be popular or even attractive she has to have emblazon words on her bottom.

I want my daughter (and every girl) to be faced with tough decisions in her formative years of adolescence. Decisions like should I be a doctor or a lawyer? Should I take calculus as a junior or a senior? Do I want to go to Texas A&M or University of Texas or some Ivy League School? Should I raise awareness for slave trafficking or lack of water in developing nations? There are many, many more questions that all young women should be asking themselves… not will a boy (or girl) like me if I wear a “call me” thong?

I want my daughter to know that she is perfect the way she is; I want my daughter to know that no matter what underwear she is wearing it does not define her.

I believe that this new line “Bright Young Things” thwarts the efforts of empowering young women in this country. “Bright Young Things” gives off the message that women are sex objects. This new line promotes it at a dangerously young age.

I implore you to reconsider your decision to start this line.

By doing so you will put young girl’s self-esteem, self-worth and pride above profits.

Sincerely,

Rev. Evan Dolive
Houston, TX

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2,835 thoughts on “A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father”

  1. It is too bad that this “person ” has thrown everyone off the intent of the Revrends letter. Please support this gentelman wherever you can!

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  2. Have any of you stepped foot in a Justice Store….some of the stuff in that store which is targeted for size 5/6 and up in kids looks like it should be on a street corner. “spank me written across the butt of a pair of shorts that barely cover the girls cheeks and they are not the only store I have seen stuff from high-end department stores all the way to walmart….While I would not let my middle school child wear thong’s that say “call me” period… she does wear thongs for dance/cheer/gymnastics because she does not like the feeling of nothing under her leotards or cheer briefs and I would rather she wore something.I do buy them at VS because that’s what fits her because she is stuck in between kids and adults and I understand since I have been in the same situation for 15 years and not many stores make these inbetween sizes. I do not care if they make it as a parent I do not have to buy it. I can not shelter my daughter 24-7 but I do my best to teach her morals values and good judgement and to respect herself.

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    • Excuse me but Justice had never had anything to say “spank me” on it. Quit trying to stir the pot. I’ve worked at Justice for quite some time and I believe we offer clothing for a wide variety of age ranges. We have things for 6 up to junior high.

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  3. Amen and kudos for speaking out on behalf of your daughter and all girls. Your parents raised you right and you’re being a responsible parent. It’s refreshing to know that there are still men that have integrity and honor women, instead of degrade them.

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  4. There are people in this world (this Sandy Hook character) that get a large charge out of getting people all worked up. He (or she) is probably on drugs, no friends, social loser, probably raised in a family that abused him/her and hasn’t anything better to do. I’m only commenting here because i agree with the Reverend. I don’t have children and am in my later 50’s. I find the sexualization of young people offensive and I’m not a prude. The world is slowly going to the morals of a dog. Sandy Hook – you are a dog. Absolutely. No, a pig. Go back and roll in your mud. No – maybe someone here is right – Satan – because Satan loves to make people sick to their stomachs. There, you got another “charge” except I’m not even angry. Just thoroughly disgusted with people like you.

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  6. I was very glad to see that someone addressed the issue at hand. Companies that are making clothing that further exploits young innocent children. With regards to that I think we also need to think about the facts that contribute to that. Companies make stuff that they know will sell. And therefore, we also need to consider who is buying this stuff and sadly for the most part it is parents. I am tired of hearing parents say they cannot believe the clothes their young daughters are wearing today and yet these are the same parents that buy these “inappropriate” clothes for their daughters so they will “fit in.” Companies will of course produce what sells. If some parents would start to have morals instead of hoping their kids will be popular, they wouldn’t buy these clothes and therefore, no demand means loss of profit, and the companies will start producing what is in demand, which should be conservative clothing for young girls. I have heard parents of young girls state that these inappropriate clothes are all you can find in the stores. Well I beg to differ. This may be the case if you are a “follower” and you buy for the name, not for the styles. I have a young daughter myself, who wears name brands but I can guarantee you she does not go to out of the house looking like a playboy model. Her pants cover her and her shirts cover her the way a young girl’s clothes should. Completely!! So we need to address the real issue which is parents. Now I am not naive and I do know that some kids wear clothes to school and then change once there but again, who gives the kids money and drops them off at the mall alone with friends at such young ages…parents. Who is responsible to be aware of what is happening with their young children….parents. Who should be setting examples for their kids….parents. I know this response is probably going to upset a lot of parents who are constantly making excuses or complaining about the clothes their young girls and other young girls are wearing and to them I say, before responding out of defence, think about what I have said and analyze the example you set as a parent and then write your response. My daughter knows that clothes will not determine who she grows up to be and if you want to be taken seriously, then show respect for yourself so that others will respect you. Sorry, but in my parenting, sexy and young girls should not EVER come up in the same sentence!! No excuses!!

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  7. marketing? Trolls are betting that the line will flourish,. and they need all the attention they can get to earn the big cash,.

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  8. I am thankful to see a father concerned about how clothing lines are sexualizing young girls. I, too, will not be purchasing something like that for my daughter.

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  9. If you don’t like the tune, don’t hum to it, if you don’t like the channel…change it. If your thirteen year old daughter is buying trashy undergarments, then get off your soap box and do some parenting. The world is not gonna change to your liking folks.

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  10. in the end I beleive that it is wrong of Victoria Secrets to be aiming there underwear and bra line to younger “girls or young women”, in the way it is spoken about in the letter, BUT in the end it will be the parents job to say “NO, i will not buy that for you” or “over my dead body that you will be wearing anything like that at your age”

    my daughter is 13 and she doesnt have money to be buying underwear and bras, i do that for her. i am 36 and i have common sence enough to know what to buy and not to buy, and even if she got her hands on something remotly sexy or a thong ,YA RIGHT, i dont think so……..i do her laundry, and if i came across it, it would be in a thousand peices……

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  11. Here’s a novel idea, don’t buy it then. Let democracy decide what’s worth buying, rather than a narrow minded, superstitious christian.

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    • Eric, I believe this evidences precisely why we can’t allow unfettered capitalism to run rampant through our society. We need checks and balances at some level. Sociology research, particularly in the feminist paradigm, is quite clear in its findings that social constructions of women in marketing, branding, and culture in general create negative self worth for our young women. This is problematic.

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      • I have to agree with Eric. This is precisely why we need capitalism to run rampant in this country and let the consumer decide what needs to be profitable and what doesn’t instead of the government.

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  12. seems like we women are worse off in this country since MS. Steinem and her crew took over the “women’s movement”—it’s been “prostituted” by men like Wexner “Abercrombie, Victoria’s Secret ” and consumed by weak minded mothers and grandmothers who believe their baby girls must have this crap to be “IN”

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  13. Well said. Little girls or boys…we should protect their innonrnce. If companies showed more intetest in the welfare of our yputh rather thsn profits to be mafe off of them, things may b better. I too implore Victoria Secret to reconsider launching rhis line of appartel.

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  14. I agree do not buy it for your children. It is a sad sight to see all of these clothing for children these days. Its only my opinion but I believe they are designed as miniature adult clothing. Once again it is the parents who need to talk with their kids and decide what to and not to buy.

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  15. Pingback: A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father | Shanpagne all around

  17. I agree with this father of the 3yr old. I cannot believe Victorias Secret would target middleschool age children. These are CHILDREN! It immediately brings child pornography to mind. If they do end up launching this line, hopefully people wont buy it. I am surprised they would do this and it makes me rethink bing a customer!

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  18. I did not read the troll post but would bet whatever he/she said that bothered people here echos the under lying premise of what Victoria Secret is doing… an absurd campaign preying on our kids, at least to a degree. All of the energy on this board could generate a sound loud enough for Victoria Secret’s marketing, product development and management team to hear loud and clear…. hands off our girls! Stop giving little boys mixed messages while you are at it. Let our kids be kids. They should not be your money makers. They may grow up to be customers when they have the wherewithal to make good decisions over your marketing tactics. And parents, you have a voice with your kids. Set a president. You aren’t buying that smut because you care about who they are and the message it sends when they wear inappropriate things like this. We have the final word. They will thank us later.

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  20. As an associate of Victoria’s Secret, this is entirely news to me. It’s bad enough that the Brand I work for is chatised for having icons who are “thin” according to American standards ( which by the way need to be changed because we as a whole are unhealthy and overweight). You are more than welcome to contact Limited Brands, the parent company. We are NOT coming out with “Bright Young Things,” as far as I know. Do not equate us with Abrecombie and Fitch. This highly upsets me that these fallacies are being uttered. Good day.

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  21. This is so stupid. I work at Victorias Secret, and the Bright Young Things line is aimed at the same age group as everything from PINK, which is 17-25ish. It’s just hoodies and sweatshirts. This guy should do his research before writing things like this.

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  23. if victoria secret does bring out this line of undies, people should stop shopping there to let them know that we the people wont promote that smutt that they are trying to sell. if VS doesnt have customers then they will realize that money isnt everything. we are not wanting to raise a generation of nasty little girls.

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  24. As a Grandfather of a beautiful 2 year old girl. I have to agree whole heartedly. I want my grand daughter to grow up knowing that her sexuallity does not make her who she is, and that her mind is the most important part of her annatamy. I see to may young ladies today walikng around looking like hookers or Ladies of the evening. How ever U want to say it. I feel it is degrading to the young ladies of today and of the future.

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  25. The point is about “just don’t buy them” doesn’t cut it! God knows how people think..I mean why shouldn’t he; he made us. The Devil; is a pretty crafty fellow & knows how to form peer groups & sway our minds to things we shouldn’t be doing, watching, buying, etc. Some people just don’t know how to “turn it off” or “don’t buy it”. We are trying to resist against evil powers unseen & protect our children. I would prefer the temptation just not be put out there & give “him” any room to ruin anymore of our children. Of course on the other hand, God does give us a choice so if you want to continue on “watching”, “buying”, etc the things you have no business indulging in, it’s your eternal life you are messing with. I just happen to want to see as many people “influenced” by the “right” things & get away from the “if it feels good, do it” mentality so many of us were influenced by. Thanks to the Dad that wrote this to Victoria Secret. More of us need to step up to the plate & demand morality once more.

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  26. As a parent, I will refuse to shop at Victoria’s Secret ever again if they launch this line. I whole-heartedly agree with Mr. Dolive. Shame on VS for even contemplating such a marketing approach!

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  29. 2 words, douche bag. To think that someone could live with themselves knowing how immorally wrong they are, how they happily portray themselves as being sick and twisted. They are just doing it for attention and by getting upset your feeding into it. Yes this person is wrong and YES they are evil but they’ll get whats coming to them.

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  30. As a parent of 4 girls, I must confess this letter hits home….hard! My oldest daughter will be a teenager this year and if I caught this type of garbage rolling through my washer, it would not make it back to her dresser. It would howevwer make it through my shredder. It is our responsibility as parents to teach our young girls core values, including and not limited to self value. You have to teach them how to respect themselves first, and others to follow. But the teaching begins at home. Right now, my young impressionable child thinks the thought of “sex”, which she learned about at a young age, is gross and wrong. But I am no fool, I know it’s just a matter of time, and the turning of a corner. I have taught my child the value of an education, the importance of being an individual, and the repect that she needs to make educated and responsible decisions…I can only hope and pray that she makes those decisions based on my teachings. As is the only thing any other parent can hope for. But blaming Victoria Secret isn’t going to get anyone anywhere. I am not a supporter, nor am I against Victoria Secret launching any type of line. Because I know what will be in my house, and every other parent who is concerned for their young ladies will do the same.

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  31. A few things:

    First, to anyone who responded to Sandy Hook: Sandy Hook is a troll, it’s in his name. He picked the most offensive name possible (referencing the recent school shooting in Connecticut) and wrote an outrageous comment. I know it’s difficult to ignore when people say ridiculous things like that, but trolls feed off the attention, so please try your best to ignore them.

    Second, the issue is not with Victoria’s secret. In fact, I’d argue that the issue is with the US’s puritan beliefs regarding sexuality and personal lives. From a young age, children are taught that their bodies are filthy and must be covered and kept to ones’ self. Also, if you were raised religiously, you are taught that if you have sex prior to marriage, you’ll find yourself in hell. This poses several issues, particularly that, as a parent, you’re condemning your child’s nature. If you’re worried that your daughter will not be a well-developed adult, the only person to blame is yourself, because you’re inculcating your child with antiquated principles based on a fallible text written by a few people in a desert thousands of years ago, which contains numerous teachings about how you should be ashamed of how you were born. Honestly, allowing a child to feel comfortable with themselves from a young age would solve this “problem,” but that would be at odds with the pervasive and barbaric religious indoctrination in the US and I don’t see it changing any time soon, no matter how terrible it is. But if you have a problem with letting your daughter be herself, then force your personal beliefs on her and don’t buy Victoria’s Secret underwear, seeing as how you’re not required to in a capitalist economy.

    Third, and only a minor issue, is that you wrote “county” in the 10th paragraph and I think you meant “country”.

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  32. wonders how many people who would refuse to shop at VS again as stated here, ever shopped there. They don’t offer merchandise they would want. It is a free country. Shop where you wish and life will continue.

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  33. Pingback: A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father | Max Shields

  34. This is amazing! Brought tears to my eyes, so wonderful for a father to notice this!! You sound like an amazing father and I’m sure your daughter will grow up to be an amazing woman bc of your guidance and showing her how woman should be treated and valued, just simply awesome. We need more people like this! God Bless you and thank you for this!

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  35. I completely agree with you and I love how you are willing to stand up for what is right. You have many people behind you supporting you.

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  36. It’s sad that someone would want to exploit something as tragic as Sandy Hook. But ignore him and he will go away if you don’t give him what he want’s(five seconds of fame). As a parent I do not want my daughters or granddaughters wearing something that is basically an invite to all the horny boys or the perverted men to come near my daughters and granddaughters. I applaud this father for standing up for what he believes in for his daughter. Thank you sir for standing up for your child and my children and grandchildren. Victoria’s Secret should stick with making women’s undergarments and leave the children and young women’s stuff to those that have some sense.

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  37. You all are very one sighted. I am a teenage girl and wear underwear from Victoria’s Secret. I am a straight A student and wearing clothing that has “feeling lucky” or “call me” has not affected my life in any way. I do not go around having sex with guys and just because I am wearing nice looking underwear DOESN’T mean I am going to go show it off. You should trust your children more and hope that you have raised them well enough that they don’t go sleeping around. Realize that all of us in this society HAVE grown up in an over-sexualized society. Deal with it. It is your generation that came up with Victoria’s Secret and is running all of the companies that you believe are “demoralizing America”. VS is simply looking into the market area available for pre-teen and teenage girls. We have a choice in the clothing we wear and I know from personal experience that the parents that tell their children they cannot wear certain clothing are the ones whose children get to school and change into their short skirts and push-up bras.

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  38. Clothing lines like this are part of the reason our country’s teen pregnancy rate is so high. I have two boys and don’t have to worry to much about this line of clothing. Young girls need to be taught that they are beautiful regardless of the clothing or the under garments they wear. I see so many young ladies today that don’t think they are pretty if they don’t have make-up or designer clothes on. Shame on society!

    It’s wonderful to see this dad standing up for the girls of today!

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  39. As a mother of a middle school girl i absolutly agree with this it is def premoting sex in young girls!!!! i think it should be banned!!!!!!

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  40. Sandy Hook as your gay ass calls yourself? A father WILL do Everything he can do to protect his children. I served my time in Iraq in ’04 just so l had the money when l came home l could get custody of my kids You Freaking Bi@tch! Grow a set and if that is out off the question, bend over for your boyfriend!

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  41. Great post. So much of what you said it so dead on. I am the father of two young boys and I am constantly trying to teach them to respect women. Underwear lines like this could give boys the idea that it is ok to treat women with disrespect. Thanks for posting.

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  42. Thank you for your letter I agree with your letter and would like to say I have three granddaughters that I do not want them to hear a message that takes their self worth and turns it to something that wold be less than what they. Are.
    Thank you

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  43. Thank you for your letter. Finding modest clothing as well as appropriate undergarments for my teen daughter has been a challenge for several years. My husband and I don’t like any words printed on the hiney of panties OR shirts/pants/etc. Kids have to grow up so fast in our society as it is, so instead of trying to push that any faster, let’s allow them to have modesty as long as possible.

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  44. Even though I only have boys, I agree with your sentiments whole-heartedly. It makes me so sad to think of my pre-teen niece being the target demographic for something like this.

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  46. Thank you! “Bright Young Things” is very inappropriate! To me, this is inviting pedophiles to continue to look at young girls and act as a conduit to do so. I am sure there would be “Young Things” to model this new line. Also the name “Bright Young THINGS” highly offends me. First and foremost, my daughters are not “THINGS”! They and all women are a beautiful creation of God and a gift to this world. Women of all ages are humans not “Things”!

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  47. I 110% agree! You’re helping promote sex and everything that comes along with the after math of sex. It’s unfortunate that no matter what we say or how many of us voice our opinions about the extreme negativity this will cause VS will still launch this line. They are a multi-billion dollar company and will always put profit above morality.

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  48. Thank you for sticking up for females everywhere. Sexualizing our young girls is serious problem and all that you have to do is walk into any girls sections to see it. These are the future wives, mothers, business women, teachers, etc. We all need to take a cultural stand and let manufacturers know that females (especially little girls) are worth so much more than just our outward appearances. I applaud your respect and love for our precious daughters. Keep up the good work.

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  49. There is a simple solution….. don’t buy it. The issue is that parents will buy these things for the children and they are at fault. If ppl didn’t buy such gross things then they wouldn’t sell it. I don’t understand why ppl are unable to say no to their children. My daughter wont even wear things with words across her butt and she will know better than to ask for it.

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  50. Maybe they should have put words on it like “KEEP OUT” and “No boys allowed!”

    Actually, I have no problem with VS making a line of underwear for anyone, whether they been young woman, men, etc. Bring provocative, however, should be reserved for those able to consent/understand that concept.

    Also, I was never a “daddy’s little girl” and it makes me feel just a little more than a little bit squeamish to imagine my dad thinking about my underwear.

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