2,835 thoughts on “A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father”

1. It’s nice to see a father trying to make a difference for the future of his little girl. I completely agree that the line shouldn’t be made for middle schoolers. When I was in middle school, my underwear didn’t have sexy remarks on them. It encourages a girl that people should see that, regardless of their age. In middle school, your underwear shouldn’t be the business of anyone but yourself.

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2. I would love to put my name with this and others that feel the same way. Petition?

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3. Thank you, Sir. Well said.

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4. I’m failing to see how Victorias Secret should be held to different standards than WalMart? Have any of you seen the crap the push there?

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   • People complain about Walmarts clothing line all the time. Just because you haven’t read about it doesn’t mean no one complains or doesn’t hold them to the same standards.

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   • Thats what I said.. VS is pretty Tame compared to Target and Walmart

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5. Thank you for this letter. I also sent a letter of my own to Victoria Secret.

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6. Thank you so much for your thoughtful post! I have 14- and 11-year-old girls, and they have a difficult enough time with identity, boundaries and peer pressure without the option of “call me” thongs. I fancy myself an open-minded, progressive person, and I really do try to live and let live, but I just can’t see the upside to racy underwear for tweens.

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7. Let me be clear. My earlier comment “What a jerk!” was directed at “Sandy Hook” (really?). You are a pathetic excuse for a human being.

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8. Reblogged this on ProvocativelE and commented:
   I appreciate this post for reasons only a woman that grew into her body too fast as a child.

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9. Thank you to this man. I am sincerely appauled an heart broken that VS would produce align with derogatory, degrating and clear sexual refernances on under garments AIMED at young adolesence. It is not only a massive step backwards in women equality its completely degrading and inappropriate to target a young audience. It encourages negative behavior and low self-esteem and a mindset of ‘possesion’ ‘object’ ‘toy.’ if VS launches this line, They will loose my support and gain a boycotting campaign.

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10. This guy is overacting.. I shop there and rarely see teenagers in there. Also their underwear is REALLY Tame compared to what you can by at Target or walmart. He is just an idiot that doesn’t have a women in his life that wears sexy things. I wore bikini swim suits since I was like 8 and it didnt effect me.

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11. Reblogged this on Andrew's "Nifty" Blog and commented:
    This is a great article/letter about an alarming new underwear line that Victoria’s Secret is planning to release, geared towards young teenagers. It’s just plain disgusting!

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12. Somebody call the wahm-bubulance. Also, this guy is a Reverend–if it was up to him all daughters would be going around in sweaters for the rest of their days.

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13. Being a father of 3 daughters and one sonI agree with this father 100% .
    Truly if we don’t buy if we refuse to purchase these products for our children the demands for these products won’t exist!

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    • Justin – I love your attitude / approach

      unfortunately – I am probably not V.S. target audience.

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14. https://www.change.org/petitions/victoria-s-secret-stop-sexualizing-our-daughters-with-the-bright-young-things-line

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15. “I don’t want my daughter to ever think that her self-worth and acceptance by others is based on the choice of her undergarments…I want my daughter to know that no matter what underwear she is wearing it does not define her.”
    Exactly. So if she wants to wear polka dotted panties or a cheetah print thong because she thinks it’s cute then don’t tell her she can’t. Of course she shouldn’t do things she is uncomfortable with to please other people, but if that means not wearing plain painties then you still need to stand by your statement of “she shouldn’t be judged by her panties.”

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16. These days a petition mans so little. Culturally, its media that matters. Ie. Make a you tube video done by a professional – perhaps a professional who is passionate about this. Focus on what unifies us. Stick to the facts and state opinion as opinion ( to protect yourself). Some ideas could be – protecting our children from marketing that could harm them. Empowering young ladies to be free from such sex object labels. . Promote their value and worth as emerging women. Do it well. Timely. It will go viral. Many can comment on it and sign it there. It will get the attention it deserves.

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17. I had been on a site a few years back , It was a support site for all illnesses. It was over run by trolls of all types. It was sickening. Young teenagers with depression were being preyed on constantly. It changed my life and how I look at the world. How I see people. How I look at these young children and what is waiting out there for them.The types of things these trolls had going on were frightening. There were packs that worked together that made plans to get to these young ones. Terrorizing already terrorized children that wanted help. If you have ever watched “To Catch A Predator” Dateline NBC you will see just hoe very prevalent this exploitation of children is. Now to hear that another predator company are going to through our children to the wolves breaks my heart for them.

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18. I just looked this line “Bright Young Things” up on Victoria Secrets & it says “Spring Break Must Haves” & from what I see, looks like it’s aimed at college aged girls. Who said they’re aiming it at middle schooled girls & where is this pastor’s evidence that they’re aiming it at young girls?

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20. If you don’t want her to wear something, don’t buy it for her. Seems kinda obvious to me.
    There will always be pressure for a young girl to dress provocatively, regardless the intended audience of the clothing line. Teach her what is right and wrong and hopefully she won’t turn into a slut (fingers crossed!).
    And to the part about feeling left out because popular girls are wearing the underwear and she can’t: I’m 19 and there was never a time where girls literally compared underwear in the locker room. You can buy them panties that make her feel pretty while not screaming “bang me!”. My mom didn’t let me wear thongs until 16/17, despite how much I may have begged her to buy them. Since when was saying no to your spoiled brat so hard to do?
    Stop blaming the media or business- these things will be out there no matter what. Your job as a parent is to protect your child from these kinds of things.
    Growing up as an American teen girl is rough these days. Keep your daughters informed and be honest with them. Hiding them from this kind of stuff will only work for so long.

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21. I think you are right that parents should teach their kids that their self worth is not measured by the underwear that we buy, and those sparkly and bright colored garments in the window at Victoria’s Secret could create thought processes that are inappropriate between kids and their peers, but realistically, this has been going on for decades. There used to be ads in teen magazines when I was a kid that talked about things that could have possibly made me think thoughts that I wasn’t ready for. I just want you to remember as a father that your daughter is also not her career title, she is not the sport that she plays, she is not the grades that she makes.. listen to her. Let her blossom as a young lady and please do not shelter her so much that she has no street smarts. Terrible things happen to naive people. One of my dear friends was sheltered as a young girl. She wasn’t allowed to go anywhere or to do anything that the other kids did like go to skating parties or school dances.. the parents did not want her to participate in the world with her peers. In 2006 at the age of 23, my friend who was not allowed to date or “go out” even to dinner with coworkers, was killed brutally in a shooting ambush by men who were after her criminal boyfriend. She had no idea what he was like, just that he was new in town and that he was from Boston. He was a man with a criminal record a mile long, was raised by a family with a track record a mile long as well, with anything from credit card fraud to grand theft at gun point. He was running from the law. HE was using her. She could not see this until it was too late. A life wasted because her family had such a hold on her that she felt she had to escape to have a life of her own.

    Teach her to be kind, to not judge, to love the Lord, but please, let her learn her life’s lessons and to express herself through fashion and art or whatever her heart desires. Accept her as she grows as a person as God would. As she is. Pick your battles. Life is too short to be worrying about underwear.

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22. I’d be more concerned with the fact that my underage daughter is in a position in which someone else is with her while she’s only wearing underwear, not that there are sexy words/lace/etc on them…I can assure you, the sexy words/lace/etc on her underwear will be the last thing on the other persons mind at that point.

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23. I am a mother of a 13 yr old boy. I gave up reading all the comments after the homeschooling bit. My son goes to public school and always has. He has many friends and yes he has the few who bully, but he knows right from wrong. He is being raised on how to treat a woman and how to choose your friends wise or you will end up falling with them. How to hold the door for people when in public and always say polite things or keep your mouth shut. The Rev. Who started this whole conversation has a good point in what he says about Victoria secret. We as parents don’t want our daughters coming home at 14 and pregnant. I always talk to my son about making the right choice. Don’t do anything stupid if you can’t handle the consequences. We know that this is the 20 century and things are going to just get crazier. The clothes styles and technology is only moving forward. So the best advice is to just be honest and open with your child. Talk to them and tell them what is out there and what they are going to see. Having a open and communication relationship with your kids will help them make the right choices. My son knows if he comes home with his pants hanging off his butt because they are so baggy I see his boxers, ill not put up with it. My son knows I don’t like music with profanity. My son knows if he has questions to ask, we will not lie about what’s out there and what we have done as kids and what can happen if your not smart about your decisions. We teach him about drinking and driving and how it’s stupid, having some of our own family killed by drunk drivers he understands that. I personally think you really just need to prepare, talk and teach your children what’s out there and do what we are suppose to do as parents. If you can’t protect them from what’s is out there or from seeing it, than teach them how to handle it and make the right decisions…

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25. So glad to see an article like this. I also have a daughter, I understand the point of view of this father. I’ll be sharing this also. Thanks for sharing it.

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26. You people seriously amaze me. Sandy is a Troll you are feeding for starters. Two I understand you not wanting them to be wearing this stuff… well guess what… YOU DON’T BUY IT FOR THEM OR LET THEM OWN IT!. If you are parenting properly you know how to tell a child no when needed and not give them everything they want! Let the people who want their children to dress how they want dress however they want. If you can’t keep your children away from a product like this that you don’t want them to have than you aren’t doing your job good enough! It’s just like video games, Music, Clothing, Tattoos, Piercings, Cars, Food etc. its your choice to buy it! It’s your choice what you or your children own! Not anybody else! Stop blaming other people for creating a product that obviously is being bought enough to sell and understand it is you not them that is letting your children down!!! Just a thought…..

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    • You must not know anything about teenagers. You think because a daughters father tells them not to wear something that they will listen. They will leave the house the way the are supposed to look and then when they get to school they will change. He’s not blaming anyone. He is asking VS to reconsider putting this product out there. That’s all. Just giving them something to think about.

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27. um just dont buy it for them. plain and simple, why go thru all this bitchin on here and talkin about people.. just dont go there and buy it for you child.. i love love love victoria secret, thats the only thing i buy for me. but i know what my child should where at the age of 13 and its not this.. but all choices are up to each parent not from me. i teach my children correctly she isnt even allowed to wear any low cut shirts or blouses and no hip hugger pants. my daughters not perfect and i will never tell her she is. thats where your problem is gonna lie in the long run. get over it Reverend and just dont buy it.

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29. I am amazed at how the comments I see here to just promote an attitude of its not that big of a deal etc ( it makes me think that they are undercover VS agents posting on here LOL)- There is no need to protest. Just do a good job parenting and it will all work out. Are you kidding me???? It takes a community, a village, a nation to raise a child. Everyone has a sense of responsibility on some level. Our culture – to just take it without protest – or just ignore or – its Ok to become desensitized -has been influenced a lot by marketing that WE allow it easily. Outside influences do matter!!!!! Raising a child is holistic. If that was not the case – then we would not need to address ANY issues outside of the home. Marketers want us to believe that it does not matter so they can keep marketing to our children right under our noses. Sometimes marketing needs to hear a loud voice of concern so they have will think twice. Just because its been happening for years does not mean – its OK NOW.

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30. BRAVO! As an 18 year old girl who spends more of her time watching what’s going on around her in disbelief, this is a refreshing article.
    Women have become too much of objects in our culture, yet again. This time it isn’t exactly the same as being merely there for child-birthing but it boils down to the same thing: women only being valued for their sex organs.

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32. Se sua filha seguir seguir tudo que você a ensina . Ela não é será atingida .
    Ultimamente culpar quem quer que seja pela falta de educação e criação tá virando moda .
    A Mídia não faz educação. O princípio de educação vem de dentro de casa, se você e pai e mãe e não tem coragem de assumir que está dando uma educação de péssima qualidade, não jogue a culpa na mídia .

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33. This line of underwear is also sexist against little boys as it implies that all boys want a girl to wear such things. I had wished the good Rev. hadn’t missed that, but he didn’t miss his politically correct comment of “not will a boy (or girl) like me…”. I wonder if this story is even true with that liberal “or girl” line.

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35. As a pediatrician I see what underwear girls are really wearing. Here’s my response, entitled, “Why Do Girls Wear Thong Underwear”: http://childrensmd.org/browse-by-age-group/why-do-girls-wear-thong-underwear/

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    • Awesome point of view! Thank you for posting this. I will repost.

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36. As the mom of three boys, I hope I can teach them to respect women, to value people for who they are inside and not what they wear on the outside, and be leaders in creating a world where this kind of crap falls by the wayside.

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37. Wonderfully put and well written. I couldn’t agree with your sentiment more. One can hope that Victoria’s Secret will take heed and not continue with this line of product. Unfortunately, I know several moms who I can picture shopping with their daughters. The values are such in this country that material objects far outweigh decent common sense. people are rewarded thru positive reinforcement when they shop the “cool” or “popular” lines, instead of making the mature decision to be respectful to yourself and treat your body and decisions in an age appropriate manner.

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    • Age appropriate? Tell me at which point in history were teens NOT having sex?

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38. I think Les Wexner hates women. I heard that he based the fashions he foisted on tweens based upon what he saw the prostitutes of Europe wearing. Les is no friend to womankind. In fact, he is no friend to humankind given his use of child labor overseas. As a businessman, I think Les represents the lowest aspect of American Business and find him to be a disgusting excuse for a man.

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39. … You’re kidding me, right?
    As a Christian young adult, I understand the pressures of girls in our society, especially sexually, as sexual behavior is more common and “normal” than it ever has been before.
    It’s UNDERWEAR. Meant to be worn under clothes and honestly, if your daughter is taking off her clothes at such a young age, you should probably have a serious talk with them. There is nothing wrong with wearing a thong. In fact, there are more than enough people who wear nothing at all!!!
    Seriously, wearing a thong is not going to change how a girl grows up. Maybe middle school is a little young, I’ll give you that, but I don’t personally believe that there is anything morally wrong with wearing a thong. There’s nothing promiscuous about it, especially considering that it shouldn’t be seen by anyone except your middle school daughter.
    The Bible says nothing about “wearing a thong” yet having a solid understanding that the Bible does condemn the act of “whorish” behavior should be noted.

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40. Dont entertain any of the immoral comments that have been made. You sir have more for you than against you. I totally agree with your observations and sadly this is the state our world is in. Its flat out pornography and to those of you who think his daughter would be better off without him, you are 100% deceived in your own mind. Just because you cant stop your promiscuity and filthiness, sleeping with whomever you will!!! God bless this man for his stand for his daughter. Dad keep up the good work,

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41. I have an 11 year old daughter that loves the Pink brand undergarments. However, as her parent I select said undergarments. She has seen the screenprint on many of the undies and finds them unattractive and has asked why any girl would want to wear them. You may be asking yourself why would I allow my child to wear VS Pink panties….the reason is quite simple, unlike the pre packaged brief, the yoga panties fit perfectly to her small curves without climbing up. I make the final decision i her undergarments because it is my job as a parent to make sure her entire body is properly clad.

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42. for the record, I have met les wexner and I found him to be one creepy bastard

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43. Two words. Fact Check. really.

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44. I am thankful for this Dad speaking out on behalf of his daughter, and every other young girl in this troubled world… I don’t have any girls, just 4 grown boys, but I have raised my boys to look deeper than whats on the outside & appreciate young ladies who are modest & find value in themselves of who they are, and not by attracting young men by physical attraction or through sexuality… That underwear line will just add to the already too high count of unplanned pregnancies & marriages that only end in hurt, pain, & disappointment.

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    • Clothing does not cause unplanned pregnancies– people who are uninformed or careless do. Teach your children about safe, responsible sex and the consequences of unprotected sex. If you don’t, you have only yourself to blame, not a clothing company.

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    • That is not an accurate statement. Parents have a choice in what their children wear and a responsibility to teach their children morals and sexual education.

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45. You are dumb. First you make up a name that is just disrespectful and second. Well. You are just dimb

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47. I remember being a teenager in the early 2000’s and even then my mom wouldn’t let me go to Victoria Secret store. Period. There is nothing there for young girls, besides for some PJ’s from the PINK line perhaps because it’s not risque.
    Trashy under garments for young middle schoolers, what have our world come to?? Perhaps everyone from the score should watch movie “Thirteen” one more time and re-think their choices.

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48. I agree that we need to raise our children to value themselves for who they are. If you wish to show disapproval, I think the best thing to do would be to not purchase the clothing and write a cordial letter to Victoria’s Secret informing them that you don’t think it’s appropriate to cary such a clothing line. If they receive enough letters and few people purchase the clothing, then the clothing line will die due to lack of public interest & losses on production.

    On the other hand:
    VS has the right to sell what they please, although the idea of said clothing egging on a predator is just scary.

    Honestly I think the idea of certain clothes being good, bad, pain, sexy etc. is simply good marketing. We shouldn’t focus on the clothes. I think that would only perpetuate this idea that certain clothes have certain “effects”. It’s silly isn’t it? If we want our children to stop objectifying themselves based on their clothing, we should stop objectifying eachother based on clothing. In fact we should just ignore the clothing all together. It’s just clothing right? Material covering skin.

    This issue is one I see all the time. We focus on something because the media has taught us to believe. I think it’s crazy that I am required to wear “business attire” for certain occasions. Simply because it makes one look more professional… seriously?
    A). Wearing certain clothing to make one look more professional sounds like media has done it’s job instilling the idea that we need to purchase certain clothes to look a certain way.
    B). The idea that I am “required” kills me because that means my superior is sold on this idea and forces the perpetuation of the idea that “clothing has effects”.
    C). I despise requirements such as this because it excludes those less fortunate who are incapable of purchasing such attire for whatever reason.

    Stop believing. How we look shouldn’t matter. What matters is who we are, and what we can do. You stated “I want my daughter to know that no matter what underwear she is wearing it does not define her.” I too have this goal. I think it’s a great one.

    I think the best thing we can do is:
    A). Focus on raising our children. Our kids are far more important than the happenings of a clothing company. This way, even if they do purchase said clothing without our knowledge or approval, it won’t matter “because no matter what undergarments they are wearing it won’t define them”.
    B). Stop believing in the “effects” of clothing. I think it’s just perpetuating the issue. Otherwise we are simply at the mercy of the media.

    That is all.

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49. Instead of pointing a morally righteous finger at a clothing store, maybe you need to make a conscientious effort on how you raise your daughter.

    Provocative clothing will always be out there, and sheltering your daughter is not going to help her, but helping her cultivate a positive idea of self-worth will.

    My parents did not try to “protect” me from lifestyle choices they would prefer I didn’t make. Rather, they explained why certain things were inappropriate and why presenting myself a certain way might attract the kind of attention I did not want. I also never believed my self-worth was in any way tied to the things I had or wore.

    On a different note, there is a world of difference between being a sex object and having a healthy understanding of one’s sexuality. As a father to a little girl, I’m sure you’d prefer if she didn’t think about her sexuality until you take her chastity belt off on her 30th birthday.

    Do her another favor and don’t pretend like sex isn’t a healthy, natural part of the human experience. Educate her– and abstinence only does not count! It only ensures that when she does begin to experiment sexually she will be absolutely uninformed and ill-prepared to make good decisions. Be sure she understands the consequences of STI’s and pregnancy, and how to utilize the reproductive health resources available. Also let her know it’s okay not to be ready, and it’s okay to say no.

    Then if she still goes out and buys the “Call Me” panties, at least you know you’ve prepared her as best as you can for the real world.

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