An open letter to Victoria’s Secret regarding their choice to make an underwear line aimed at young teenagers. (Read about it here)
Dear Victoria’s Secret,
I am a father of a three year old girl. She loves princesses, Dora the Explorer, Doc McStuffins and drawing pictures for people. Her favorite foods are peanut butter and jelly, cheese and pistachios.
Even though she is only three, as a parent I have had those thoughts of my daughter growing up and not being the little girl she is now. It is true what they say about kids, they grow up fast. No matter how hard I try I know that she will not be the little ball of energy she is now; one day she will be a rebellious teenager that will more than likely think her dad is a total goof ball and would want to distance herself from my embarrassing presence.
I know that this is far down the line and I try to spend as much time as I can with her making memories of this special time.
But as I read an article today posted on The Black Sphere, it really got me thinking that maybe the culture that we currently find ourselves in is not helping the cause.
Recently I read an article that Victoria’s Secret is launching a line of underwear and bras aimed at middle school aged children. The line will be called “Bright Young Things” and will feature ” lace black cheeksters with the word “Wild” emblazoned on them, green and white polka-dot hipsters screen printed with “Feeling Lucky?” and a lace trim thong with the words, “Call me” on the front.”
As a dad, this makes me sick.
I believe that this sends the wrong message to not only my daughter but to all young girls.
I don’t want my daughter to ever think that her self-worth and acceptance by others is based on the choice of her undergarments. I don’t want my daughter to ever think that to be popular or even attractive she has to have emblazon words on her bottom.
I want my daughter (and every girl) to be faced with tough decisions in her formative years of adolescence. Decisions like should I be a doctor or a lawyer? Should I take calculus as a junior or a senior? Do I want to go to Texas A&M or University of Texas or some Ivy League School? Should I raise awareness for slave trafficking or lack of water in developing nations? There are many, many more questions that all young women should be asking themselves… not will a boy (or girl) like me if I wear a “call me” thong?
I want my daughter to know that she is perfect the way she is; I want my daughter to know that no matter what underwear she is wearing it does not define her.
I believe that this new line “Bright Young Things” thwarts the efforts of empowering young women in this country. “Bright Young Things” gives off the message that women are sex objects. This new line promotes it at a dangerously young age.
I implore you to reconsider your decision to start this line.
By doing so you will put young girl’s self-esteem, self-worth and pride above profits.
Sincerely,
Rev. Evan Dolive
Houston, TX
PLEASE REVIEW THE COMMENT POLICY
Please stay positive with your comments. If your comment is rude, it gets deleted. If it is critical, please make it constructive.
Rev. Dr. Evan M. Dolive 
I so agree, there are a lot of other things they need to think about!!! Unfortunately, peer pressure is very strong at this age, and they become envious. I hope these girls can stand strong, remember out bodies are temples and modesty is the key.
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The decay of our nation is due to parents not teaching their children modesty.If we start teaching our kids that being popular is more important than being moral then we raise them to be sluts with no moral direction and their values are based on popular culture and not on morals then we are no better than dogs.
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I have a 10 year old girl and if you don’t like the fact that Victoria secret has a new undergarment coming out then do not get your kids underwear from there and it is underwear so if someone other then your kid sees their underwear then you as a parent need to find out why not try to stop a company from making them. My daughter has a pair of pants with sweet on the butt of them and they are from a wal-mart not Victoria secret which is more for adults not children. it is up to you on teaching your kids how to respect them self and on how to carry them self not a clothing line
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This new line by Victoria secret is disgusting And offensive to me as a father of two girls and one son, One daughter who will be 13 this yr and one who is 6 yrs old and looks up to her older sister.
Why is this acceptable to you Victoria secret? None of you have children? None of you want your daughters to grow up PURE? Have their future husband like them for who they are and not what they are wearing or lack there of? And succeed in life before they end up pregnant in middle school or high school and fail and struggle in life? Or are you just going to pay there way off the backs of miguided people “kick em while there already down”? Right? You all are fine with promoting sex to your daughters at this age?
This line will create problems/more problems for young girls whom already struggle with self worth issues who think they have to dress a certain way for their peers to notice them or like them.
As a father of a 12 yr old and 6 yr old. I want my daughters to grow up knowing they are beautiful “in their eyes” for who they are. For the goals, dreams, morals, modesty and self worth they have. Not b/c Victoria secret says this is what will make them beautiful.
My wife is such an amazing woman who used to have Victoria secret in her drawers and threw everything away from underwear to a robe. She refuses to promote/invest in this disgusting line all because of the posters in the window of your stores Victoria secret she did not want our girls to think this acceptable. It had nothing to do with this current line, it had to do with herself and laying down labels and for what purpose she was laying them down.
As for my son I want him to grow up knowing what make a girl beautiful is her goals, morals, dreams, modesty and their self worth.
You Vitoria secret are causing problems in America and around the world because of greed. You are disgusting.
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It sickens me that a company would even consider this line. Not only is there no need for girls in that age group to have VS underwear, the messages on the items are way beyond inappropriate for young girls to wear. It basically promotes pedophilia
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I agree this step is contributing to the delinquency of many minors and you wil be the cause.
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Standing ovation to this man! girls don’t need to announce themselves as sex objects, as it is most of women are fighting to fit in in a society that has it all wrong, everybody is unique and beautiful, we should focus on what relly matters like… I don’t know… call me crazy but, how about brains? respect for one and others? spirit and soul? needs all over the world? just saying… Rev. Evan Dolive,Thank you very much and God bless you and your little peanut butter and jelly sandwiches princess
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I totally agree! It is all about money….morals are out the window with big companies. My problem is marketing to “children”! You can market to “adults”….leave the kids out of it! 😦
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I totally agree that our daughters need to be praised and encouraged for their gifts not their body parts or how much they will let a young man get away with. I am a middle school educator and I have seen the power that this negative acceptance has on both young men and women. My 11 and 12 year old daughters are also caving to these inclinations.
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I would make just one correction to your post. Middle-schoolers are not young men and women…they are children. In a case such as this, I believe the language we use is crucial.
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wow what a constructive letter to that company. i sure hope they listen to you, because i agree. i would hope my daughters never wear underwear like that! even after age 18!
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I completely agree.
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I agree, change.org is a good way to get the word out and negative publicity for Victoria’s Secret’s new campaign.
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Please let our children enjoy their childhood and not be lured into pre mature adulthood.
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Well put!
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Couldn’t agree with you more! Best letter I have read in years! Don’t listen to the idiots with their petty comments against you! They’re probably white trash/trailer trash with knocked up 15 year olds anyway!
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I couldn’t agree more. Scary and unacceptable. Everyday parents are faced with more and more obstacles. Youth should be cherished by all, not exploited. Signed, a mom of a 7 year old girl.
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I applaud you for this letter and hope you follow up with us by letting us know what response you (hopefully) receive from Victoria’s Secret. It’s disgraceful and shameful and we should collectively petition them to STOP this kind of marketing strategy. Does the site Miss Representation know about it? You should check them out. They are a strong voice in getting these matters heard to protect our young women. Please keep us posted. You are a great dad and a wonderful role model. Thank you.
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Well said. You’re supported in my prayers and in signing whatever petition there is to prevent this from happening. As a college counselor, I have first hand experience with young women who truly have not idea what self-esteem or self-worth really is outside of “promoting” themselves sexually. Let’s get their self worth strong, then talk about the rest when appropriate.
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What a horrible concept to emblazon such things on a young teens underwear. It’s jDo not force them into womanhood and into trying to be grown up at such an impressionable young age. Do not go ahead with this line. So inappropriate in so many ways.
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I agree with Rev. Why are we promoting “sexiness” to an age group that should not even be having sex? More concerned about sexy thongs than their school work.
? Then we turn around and cry about the high teenage pregnancy rates and the prevalence of HIV/AIDS in the under 25 age group. Saving yourself for marriage and doing God’s Will are a thing of the past and we continue to perpetuate this. Why?
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let alone the message it is giving to young boys. “they can get lucky with her”??? she’s up for a booty call????? seriously a sick situation.
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Victoria Secret.. I guess we know the secret is to contribute to the destruction of our young girls. I would like to see more constructive undergarments like, modest wear for our girls that says “your body is the temple of the Lord.”
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As a mom of two young girls, the view of women in our society frightens me. My oldest is only 6 and is already feeling the pressure to be pretty and the low self esteem of thinking she isn’t. When I hear of padded bras, lacy underwear and sexy bikinis targeted at our young girls I cant even begin to think about what is going on in the heads of our youth. Parents I beg you to think about what you buy for your children no matter the age. Short shorts and revealing tops do not raise your child’s self esteem but gives them the impression that they need to impress
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PLEASE, PLEASE do not put profits ahead of moraity for young girls, There is already way to much out there to try to take away their childhood and take them into an atmosphere they are not emotionally ready to enter.
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I so agree with this dad. I gave seen “booty” shorts for girls as Young as 3 years old. That is crazy! What is society trying to teach our girls. Look like a street walker?
I also have a teenage girl. There is so much pressure on teens and pre teens. Who needs more?
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This is an awesome dad.
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Well said Thank you 🙂
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I dont feel it is right for any child to wear underwear that says “Call me”, “Juicy”, or anything else. If there are sayings on the underwear, it is so someone else can read the saying not the person wearing them. If your 11 year old is wearing underwear that says “call me” you will either be a grandparent soon, or attending a funeral when your child gets AIDS.
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I am a 19 year old girl who has been raised on Christian morals. I have been wearing VS since I was middle school. Yes, I have been wearing lace longs with promiscuous wording and matching bra’s, but that does not mean anything if you were raised right. I wear them because I like them. It makes me feel good about myself, same as keeping good hygene. And for anyone who thinks its for men, Im a virgin. I have a steady, decent job and am a full time student. Even though this father has a point, I think that this letter will have no effect. This was not even aimed for children if one did their research correctly. Every store or greedy company is like that now; its called modernization. Why does it matter how someone dresses. If they are raised right then they will turn out fine. Petitioning against this will have no effect. The world is changing. People need to calm down and realize that.
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That was a very thoughtful reply. Women are 100% in charge of their sexuality and bodies- whether they choose to have sex or not. Just because you are a virgin, it doesn’t mean you are asexual nor that you don’t like to feel sexy and attractive. Bravo for being a strong woman who makes her own choices!
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This is not just an underwear line..it’s a statement..please rape me..abuse me..because I just advertised for that type of treatment. Victoria Secret out to be ashamed for promoting the eventual violence this is sure to bring!!
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Well said, Rev. Dolive. This company’s marketing scheme is trying to bring women back to the Dark Ages. We have inherent, immutable dignity and this message needs to be in front of our young girls to resist the pressures of dressing inappropriately.
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What if everyone one who commented on this blog wrote an actual letter to Victoria Secret. That would really be doing something about it. I respect this man very much and I think that we should all consider sending a letter to Victoria Secret with our concern for the young girls in this country.
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It really is a shame that this company is wanting to benefit off of our young children’s innocence. I am very much against the new line. Save our children’s innocence, they grow up soon enough!
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I totally agree with this father…he said it perfectly. This world gets uglier and uglier, we are trying to make it a better place?
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I am in total agreement – this is going too far. Already there are girl’s undergarments in the stores labeled as “bikini” or “mini-boxer” that both of my preteens wear, but innocently (they are only 10 and 12, but not a lot of choice out there for undies). The last thing we need is to age these girls early and make them even more conscious about themselves – they are already comparing themselves to and ADMIRING so-called (scantily clad) “supermodels” – who are, by the way pathetically thin. I fight the fight daily for my girls to recognize their inner beauty, as well as those around them. Honestly, a lot of people who look “beautiful” on the outside are really not pretty anymore once you get to know them.
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Why does it matter what undergarments they wear if they have good morals? If such things are worn for oneself and not for someone else then it should not matter.
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Way to go DAD!!! They grow up fast enough without being lured into fashions that promote clothing that is not appropriate for our young children. VS needs to rethink what their messages are sending to our young and older children. Kudos to you for your letter!
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Wow. I applaud this man.
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I would like to know why parents think it’s society’s responsibility to raise their children. Parenting begins at home. Instead of focusing on what corporations should do to “shelter” children, parents should focus on the raising of their children in a fashion so that the children know their self-worth isn’t printed on the back of a panty. I didn’t have VS products when I was in middle school as I would have no other way to procure them other than my parents or friend’s parents. Again, parenting begins at home.
By the way, VS has released a statement (for those of you who haven’t done your own research into the matter) that the PINK line, “Bright Young Things” was released in conjunction with spring break and was geared toward college-aged females (who are adults). There was never a line, nor will there be a line for “middle-school age” females.
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Thank you. As a college student who does her research, that is a point that is being overlooked.
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My teen does not wear that stuff . What ever happen to being modest we are teaching our kids to wear basically nothing???????????????? I think not.
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I’ll go a step further. I think charges should be pressed against Victoria Secret exploitation of minors or contributing to the delinquency of minors.
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I am so glad this father feels the same exact way that most “mothers” and probably most “fathers” who are present in their daughters’ lives feels. But he went a step further to publicly beg a massive corporation to change their goals of releasing their line already ready for release (I’m guessing). As a mother of 2 young girls (7 and 4) who already have their share of confusion of “is she still my friend?” or “I think so and so likes me” I would hate to have to deal with a new confusion at the age of 11 or 12. I would like to save those confusing times for when I’m prepared to deal with them (age 16 or, hopefully and unrealistically, 26). I applaud you, kind sir! And everyone who took time to right a comment. Many things can be changed if enough people stand up and shout, “NO WAY!”
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Totally agree! Very well written! Will forward to all my FB friends and their friends and so on and so on…Thank you!
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Anything for a buck. I have 2 “tween” daughters and I will NEVER buy them or let them buy anything from this line. I already think it’s pathetic that bras for young girls have under wire in them (and they are not sizes for those “bigger” girls either!). Seriously?!?! It’s hard enough to find them clothes that aren’t provocative.
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wonderful! From all of us women who respect our dignity, thank you for writing this letter!
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This is so asinine. The “Bright Young Things” is a tagline for PINK’s Spring collection. Targeted at college women. No one bother to fact check and get their panties twisted in a knot at the drop of a hat. Yes, teens shop at VS. Because they have breasts and vaginas and thus they need underwear. Teenagers are sexual beings. You can’t suppress or repress that. Well, you can, but trust me, it never ends well. Abstinence-only sex ed comes to mind. Young women should be guided to a healthy sexual life, not made feel like their wants and desires are wrong and out of place. Sex is awesome when done in a caring, consensual relationship, and there is nothing wrong with a girl blossoming into a woman wanting to explore her femininity (or masculinity if she finds she is more attracted to that side). Most people have their first sexual encounter during high school. As parents we have a responsibility to make them know that sex is something that you do with someone who accepts and cares for you. And young women especially need to know that just like their image isn’t tied to their self worth, their sexuality doesn’t make them brainless harlots. Ivy League, thongs, and intercourse are not mutually exclusive.
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THANK YOU!!!!
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I do not come from a religious background or operate from that ideology, nor do I have any children, but I do support your thoughts in your letter about the new line from Victoria’s Secret as it being way too provocative for the age group.
When I was growing up, I learned way too quickly what sex was, and it unfortunately shaped some of my womanhood negatively. Now, being an adult, I can claim my sexuality in a much healthier way. However, I still have a skewed sense of it at times. There is definitely an element of self-worth stuck in how sexual a woman is – to say that I still have in me. Sometimes I hate it, sometimes I embrace it. But needless to say, I have done a lot of work trying to un-do what negative connotations I have learned (and still encounter everyday) from the media-driven world we live in, along with what I was subtly taught from my elders.
I doubt Victoria’s Secret will ever go as far as to stop air-brushing their models like the magazine Seventeen did in July 2012, but maybe they will come to see the importance of something like this and how it affects too-young youth, and apply it to their own business practice in some way.
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Bravo.
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If this is true, it sickens me as well. If VS does decide to start selling this line then I will no longer buy anything from them. Horrific.
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It’s bad enough clothes designers are making clothes shopping so tough that my young daughter can’t or isn’t allowed to wear half the stuff they make anymore. Our young children have enough to worry about without worrying about clothes. This issue with Victoria’s secret is just ridiculous. I applaud this gentleman for writing the words that needed to be said. Shame on you Victoria’s Secret for trying to make our youth grow up way too fast. Who cares what they have on their bottoms? It’s just about money and in the end it will be about the haves and have nots. I for one am disgusted by it.
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I want to thank you for this letter of awareness in this difficult and crazy world we live in, Cudos to you Dad, I wish there were more parents like you out there taking a stand for their children. Kids should not be made to be aware of their sexuality at such a young age. We need a good morality check and take a stand for our kids and grand kids. Thank you for the reference to pedophilia. We do not need any more bad news about young kids caught in the snare of the evil that lurks about trying to steal our children’s innocence. Thank you for the opportunity to express our thoughts here. As parents and Grandparents we need to look out for our babies.Please let’s not let them down by not responding to this stuff. Someone has to stan up for them, if not us, Who??
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I completely agree. I have 2 daughters and it is bad enough they have so much else to deal with. Why sexualize them at such a young age? Let them be little don’t push them to grow up it goes by fast enough. BTW my girls are 2 and 7.
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