A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father

/ Rev. Evan Dolive

An open letter to Victoria’s Secret regarding their choice to make an underwear line aimed at young teenagers. (Read about it here)

Dear Victoria’s Secret,

I am a father of a three year old girl. She loves princesses, Dora the Explorer, Doc McStuffins and drawing pictures for people. Her favorite foods are peanut butter and jelly, cheese and pistachios.

Even though she is only three, as a parent I have had those thoughts of my daughter growing up and not being the little girl she is now. It is true what they say about kids, they grow up fast. No matter how hard I try I know that she will not be the little ball of energy she is now; one day she will be a rebellious teenager that will more than likely think her dad is a total goof ball and would want to distance herself from my embarrassing presence.

I know that this is far down the line and I try to spend as much time as I can with her making memories of this special time.

But as I read an article today posted on The Black Sphere, it really got me thinking that maybe the culture that we currently find ourselves in is not helping the cause.

Recently I read an article that Victoria’s Secret is launching a line of underwear and bras aimed at middle school aged children. The line will be called “Bright Young Things” and will feature ” lace black cheeksters with the word “Wild” emblazoned on them, green and white polka-dot hipsters screen printed with “Feeling Lucky?” and a lace trim thong with the words, “Call me” on the front.”

As a dad, this makes me sick.

I believe that this sends the wrong message to not only my daughter but to all young girls.
I don’t want my daughter to ever think that her self-worth and acceptance by others is based on the choice of her undergarments. I don’t want my daughter to ever think that to be popular or even attractive she has to have emblazon words on her bottom.

I want my daughter (and every girl) to be faced with tough decisions in her formative years of adolescence. Decisions like should I be a doctor or a lawyer? Should I take calculus as a junior or a senior? Do I want to go to Texas A&M or University of Texas or some Ivy League School? Should I raise awareness for slave trafficking or lack of water in developing nations? There are many, many more questions that all young women should be asking themselves… not will a boy (or girl) like me if I wear a “call me” thong?

I want my daughter to know that she is perfect the way she is; I want my daughter to know that no matter what underwear she is wearing it does not define her.

I believe that this new line “Bright Young Things” thwarts the efforts of empowering young women in this country. “Bright Young Things” gives off the message that women are sex objects. This new line promotes it at a dangerously young age.

I implore you to reconsider your decision to start this line.

By doing so you will put young girl’s self-esteem, self-worth and pride above profits.

Sincerely,

Rev. Evan Dolive
Houston, TX

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2,835 thoughts on “A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father”

  1. As a Christian woman in her early twenties, I think marketing an underwear line to middle school girls is very appropriate. Like it or not, many fourteen-year-old children are physically not children anymore.(Girls were close to getting married at that age in the time of Jesus.) Frankly, many middle school girls need bras in order to meet the evangelical Christian standard of “modest.” For some body types, going braless can be just as provocative as skimpy clothing. Not to mention that wearing a bra is physically more comfortable for a lot of girls. I don’t think young girls should be trying to win attention and praise by showing off their bodies (“call me” written across your butt is pretty ridiculous), but there is no need to feel ashamed of your body the way God made it. If your daughter needs a bra, why not make it cute, something she feels good in? Just make sure she understands that cute underwear is for her, not for her boyfriend who does not care one bit what her underwear looks like anyway.

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  2. Ok, regardless of the merits of this particular issue, to everyone who is advocating boycotting the store in general because you disagree with its advertising campaigns, please understand that for many women, myself most definitely included, VS is one of, if not the only place that sells quality bras for bustier women (meaning they fit right and don’t fall apart after a couple washes). I don’t necessarily like their ad campaigns and I definitely don’t like having to spend $50-$90 on a single bra. But I do it because there really isn’t another comfortable, good quality option if you’re any bigger than a C-cup size.

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  3. I have 2 boys and am always embarrassed as we pass by the VS stores. It is hard enough trying to keep them focused on what’s important and give them positive values without being bombarded with boudoir visuals! Can VS be a little more responsible in peddling their wares? Keep it to the adults; and stop trying to influence young girls and boys…how about some “real” values of respect for each other instead of lacy lingerie being the platform for girls….Shame on you, VS!

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  4. Great letter! I’m so glad somebody spoke out for girls in this way. To those VS claims it’s a line for college aged women, have you seem the girl they have modelling the planned ads? She looks like she’s 14. So regardless of who VS claims they are gearing it for, it would appear that a younger audience is actually the target.

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    • I agree 100% !! I think Victoria’s Secret is they are secretly pedophiles, why else would they even think about introducing young girls to that kind of dress. I’ve also noticed some of their models only look about 12 or 13 years old. Maybe they need to be investigated.

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      • wow, I’m really sad to read all of these posts. I read this as we are leaving our children’s education to corporate america, when in fact, it is up to US to properly educate and ensure that our kids are prepared enough to make their own decisions based on what WE have taught them.

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      • your an idiot every store sells underwear like this, for instance American Eagle sell very similar underwear and they aren’t getting this bad rep and their shoppers are all teens and younger girls, get over it

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    • As a 17 year old, I feel like I need to comment on everyone’s opinion about the new line being released by Victoria’s Secret. I live in Canada and due to not having many VS stores around me, I always make a trip there when we’re in the State’s doing other shopping. I believe that the target group of the line, is yes, indeed young. Though, I believe that saying you’re going to stop shopping there forever because of this is wrong because the likeliness of you shopping there NEVER AGAIN is slim. Why is this a problem if you’ve raised your daughters to know their self-worth isn’t controlled by what underwear you wear? It’s a brand that TEENS and COLLEGE AGED girls and up like to shop at. If you allow your 10-12 year old shop at VS then shame on you. That’s why there are people who believe this is wrong. Those people are the reason this new line is controversial – because there are people in the world who allow their pre-teens to shop at VS when they shouldn’t be even walking into the store in the first place. What’s wrong with having a cute lacy pair of underwear? And god forbid… a thong!! How many 17 year old’s do you know have a pair of lacy underwear or even a thong? I’m sure many of them do. And what they say on them shouldn’t matter either. The only person that will see them would be the girl wearing them and the person washing them – so long as you’ve raised your daughter right. I do agree that it’s aimed at younger girls but I see no wrong in this. Cigarettes? Beer? Vodka? Who are those commercials aimed at? If you honestly can sit there and say they’re directed towards adults and adults only, please re-evaluate your life. They’re completely and utterly aimed towards under-aged drinkers. They promote the “FUN” in drinking; but you don’t have any problems letting your 10-12 year old’s see those commercials… so why are you getting so worked up over a pair of underwear? And honestly, how does something that says “Get Lucky?” or “Kiss Me” aimed towards 12 year old’s? When I was twelve I didn’t even know what “getting lucky” meant. Nor should your 12 year old daughters. So please, instead of bashing the company and sending them controversial letters and threatening to “Never shop there again,” think about it.

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    • I am so proud of you Evan for protecting your daughter. You are bold and strong and my hero for what you believe in. You are what you say, Words are powerful, Victoia Secret.Please do not make this line of clothing for children. I will tell people I know not to buy from Victoria Secret if they do this line of clothing
      .

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  6. Pingback: Father Writes Letter To Victoria’s Secret Explaining Why He Doesn’t Want His Daughter To Shop There |

    • Well said Rev. I have grand children who are becoming teenagers and the temptations they face are enormous. Companies like VS shouldn’t contribute to this growing list of temptations but rather promote fashion that is stylish yet appropiate for teenage girls.

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  8. Absolutely agree with you, Reverend. Every word. As a father of 22 and 4 year old daughters, it’s time we take a stand against this covert evil.

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  9. I applaud this father for standing up for his beliefs but I agree with some of the other comments. The best way to handle it is to take your business elsewhere. Unfortunately, its not just VS that oversexualizes women. When my now 17 yr old daughter was 12, I had trouble finding sweatpants for her even at Walmart that didnt have something like “jucy” or “flirty” stamped across the butt. Take the opportunity to have an age appropriate discussion with your child about what matters. Their character and morales, not their underwear or even outerwear.

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    • Does this rev even SHOP at VS??? Just because he knows about this new line means he’s paying attention and trying to SAVE all the young girls from such exposure of sexualization. It is not just about VS but VS is a current target. It is soooooooooo sad that Mandy Oliver’s defeatist attitude is actually quite prevalent and as a society we are actually ALLOWING such depravity because of adopting this “unfortunately….” attitude. It doesn’t matter if you don’t shop there or if you do and you end up shopping elsewhere….VOICE THE PROBLEM and the solution!!!!!!!! Tell them they need to take responsibility for their advertising and IMPLORE them NOT to sink so low as to put profits over self-worth!!! THAT IS HOW WE WIN…. diligence and persistence to NOT have this garbage available to demean ANY child of God.

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  10. Pingback: Victoria’s Secret ‘Bright Young Things’ Slogan Has Parents In Tizzy - Fashion News Cloud

  11. Isn’t it funny this guy writes a bunch of articles about God and doing good things 1, 2 or maybe threee comments/shares. He writes about VS and gets 2200+ this is society people! A sick and twisted society where everyone focuses on a bottom line of greed and attention. I have six daughters and the line is CLEARLY for middle-aged girls – the sizes fit middle school girls – tweens and high school girls. Bright Young Things its for young girls, if you cannot agree then you are not being true to yourself. Everyone knows this is the wrong message for young girls in so many ways. Society has trained our brain to seek suggestive material. The key to a satisified life is to live without a TV and grow food. I homeschool my children now because of the middle and high school pressures of being “sexy” etc. Overall, it is up to the parent to guide their children but media does NOT make it easy. Get rid of the TV, grow food instead of go to the mall, encourage kindness and health. Peace, Love and Happiness!

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  13. WOW I agree completely… this is very sad. When are we going to start teaching girls that their worth has nothing to do with their panties? I work with women every day that have serious issues and insecurities because of things like this, and it’s hard to convince them that as ADULTS, they can feel sexy again!

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  14. Since there’s a good deal of responses to this, mine’s gotten lost in a reply-to-a-reply-to-a-reply…

    Initially, the line was geared toward college-age women. VS, however, is now gearing towards the younger audience – teenagers. At a conference in January Limited Brands’ Chief Financial Officer Stuart Burgdoerfer confirmed Victoria’s Secret’s plans. “When somebody’s 15 or 16 years old, what do they want to be?” Burgdoerfer asked. “They want to be older, and they want to be cool like the girl in college, and that’s part of the magic of what we do at Pink.”

    Just ask the cigarette companies who their target audience is. I doubt they’ll admit that it’s the impressionable ones that are more easily acquired as lifelong customers. Oh, wait, I guess they already got exposed for this…

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    • no adult should be exposed to it either to be VERY honest….sexualizing women is degrading and not building of self-worth.

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      • Seriously?? If you dont like the product – dont buy it. If you dont want your girls to base their self worth on any type of clothing – teach them otherwise. Some people have a truly warped sense of sexuality!

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      • I honestly have no response to that aside from observing how stupid that sounds. “They should not exist.” Do you understand what capitalism and a free-market economy is?

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  16. Wow – are you guys for real? First of all the company came onto this thread and respectfully told the author, there were no intensions to create a line of undergarments for young children! And, how about you just do your jobs and instill in your girls that they do NOT need to wear or buy any type of clothing to increase their self worth.Nor does wearing any type of clothing take away from their self worth!! The only way young children are buying inappropriate clothing is if they are taken into the store by parents, or do you know any 7/8 year olds that go to the malls on their own? The responsibility is with parents not companies whose mandate is to make money.

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    • 7/8 year olds are not middle school age….have you seen the malls with non parental supervision of teens and the availability to shop???? I’d say you missed the mark….it is far better to NOT have the degrading exposure (even for adults) than to teach your children to not fall for “advertising” and “peer” pressure.

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      • Okay – i do not usually comment to true ignorance, but the temptation is too great! It doesnt matter whether your girls are 7, 8 or 13, 14 – if you teach them they should never base their self worth on what they see in others or advertising or a clothing store or how others act/dress, etc. then they will NOT base their self worth on whether or not they are wearing any type of undergarments or shoes or clothing or anything else. Geez stop passing the buck and relax a little. I have three grown girls who I have taught from day one to live in the skin they feel comfortable in and ignore the rest. Maybe apply your efforts to this rather than certain wishing clothing lines didnt exist, ’cause that isnt going to really help – is it? Work for it – dont wish for it.

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    • As a parent, I do tell both of my girls that their heart, mind, and souls are far more valuable as a human being. My oldest gets it; but my youngest child has a fiery personality and is stubborn as a child can be. She sees so much (outside the home) that I am constantly reminding her that beauty isn’t in what she sees on the billboards, or God forbid the taxi’s that drive by advsertising strip clubs. Let’s talk about the 20 year olds with half their tooshies hanging out of their shorts, and wearing shirts that hardly cover their chest. Most of us (parents) do our job, but there is a MUCH larger issue here that extends far beyond department stores. The more money that these people make, the more SEX will continue to be forcibly pushed into the face of the most impressionable minds… our children.

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    • Shari ; the company is targeting tweens.. there was an interview on GMA a week or 2 ago,I watched it and yes..it is geared to young girls,tweens,before teenaged…and yes ,the parents have to take them to the store..BUT if no one says anything or does not stop patronizing the store they will never know that there are those who do not agree with the message they are sending. so, even if the company came on this thread to deny… google it on GMA … “I” watched it and heard it… so maybe the company liaison who came on here needs lessons in truth telling.

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  17. I have three daughters, 8 and twins that are 5. I can already see the slippery slope so many girls are going down with the simplest of things that society deems “appropriate”. I pray for our girls in the future and hope that all “norms” such as offered by Victoria Secret do not succeed!!

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  18. I’m a Grandmother and whether you like it or not sexy clothes will always sell and it is up to the parents to teach their children. My Granddaughters 18 & 20 were brought up not to dress like this and respect them selves. VS is in it to make money and if the girls who buy this don’t get it there they will go somewhere else. And I’m not saying I agree with it but it’s up to you to teach your kids.

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  19. Women should take all their business elsewhere and put the used ones on the store fronts. What is scary is that some moms think if the daughter wants it..then it is okay. What grown women wear…that is up to them..but children..come on vs…what are you thinking?

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  20. Amen!! Our precious young girls are far too beautiful, smart and worthy of respect to be lowered in this manner. Life is not about being “Sexy,” it’s about being the the woman God called you to be. And it’s about being the little girl who gracefully grows into a powerful, beautiful, intellegent, Spirit filled overcomer who can take on the world!

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  21. The point this father is trying to make is there is no need or reason to have this kind of thing for this age group. They already grow up way to soon, why make it worse. The young teenage girls these days, whether you have taught your daughter the rights and wrongs, they still want to look older and be older. There are no 13 and 14 year olds who are little girls anymore, which is sad. This kind of ad campaign is harmful because I don’t care if you talk to your kids or not, they are going to see this ad and they are going to want them, with the exception of a very minute amount of girls. My daughter is grown with 3 kids, 2 of them girls 10 and 6, and I would not want my granddaughters to be wearing this kind of crap because it could send the wrong message. Victoria Secrets should stick with adult ADs, even thought I hate those too, because honestly most of the girls on these ads look almost anorexic. Why is it that everyone thinks they have to look so damn skinny to be beautiful.

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  22. As both a mother and a fan of Victoria’s Secret – I would be highly repulsed if they were to go through with this line. It’s already bad enough that we have a rising number of teens giving birth out of wedlock & MTV glorifying teen pregnancy – but making a g-string and cheek steers for a 12 year old who barely knows a thing about her body is just adding salt to the wound (nothing is wrong with having children, I had my son at a young age but it is better to wait until you can financially support yourself and have a solid education before bringing in a child into this world). I applaud this father for addressing this issue because its usually mothers who speak out in areas like this

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  23. ‘Bright Young Things’ was a campaign for their PINK line, not a new line for younger girls. Gets your facts straight before posting such objections. Your objecting to something that doesn’t exist. Stop getting your panties in a bunch. Pun intended.

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    • Aurora: you are wrong…sorry.. and how dare you tell us not to take a stand on something so personal as our children.. it was on GMA it is geared for tweens, young girls who are NOT even teenagers yet… so sick of everyone saying it wasn’t for young girls that is such a lie! in fact they interviewed a mom who gladly would shop for such things for her daughter in middle school… even George Stephanopoulos took issue with it along with and especially the women hosts…

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  24. If the line has been stopped then please vs…make an announcement and do something proactive for stopping this in the media.

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  25. My grandaughters will not be wearing anything from this line of undergarments..I can’t believe how everything today is geared toward sexuality…This line of clothing needs to be boycotted by all parents.

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  27. Good letter ! I also wrote a letter to VS just expressing my concern about their scantily dressed mannequins and ad displays. I never heard back.

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    • You do realize this is a LINGERIE store right? Therefore they would be dressed in lingerie. How else are the mannicans supposed to be dressed?

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  28. I think people are blowing this way out of proportion. Victoria’s Secret is a LINGERIE store. They sell sexy underwear and bras among other things. Why are you all

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  29. I completely agree with this father’s stance. I am a 22 years old and I love VS garments but that is okay because I am in college. I would never want to see middle school aged girls buying undergarments like that. If VS brings out that line they would be demeaning young girls. The only reason girls by underwear with words is because they know someone (whomever they make be “with”) will see them. For a 12 year old girl to wear something like that, or to have posters of a girl wearing these items puts pressure on girls to not only try to be sexy but to feel like that is what people their age expect of them. Victoria’s Secret will lose a loyal customer if they release this line.

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    • They also buy because they think it’s funny, not exactly because someone else will see it. I bought underwear said “Thats what he said” because it reminded me of the Office’s “thats what she said” I didn’t think “oh my bf is gonna think this is so hot” I bought it purely because I thought it was hilarious. I think, I could be wrong because I don’t have children, that as long as you tell them it’s okay to feel comfortable in the skin they’re in and enjoy what you want (how my mother taught me and trust me, I am not a 00 like the models) it’s fine! Yes, VS seems raunchy, but it’s all for profit and a store geared towards undergarments! That’s what’s suppose to happen. If parents did not let them buy it, there wouldn’t be the young fad we’re seeing nowadays with it…plus sex appeal is everywhere.

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  32. As if the hardest moral decision our daughters will have to make will be about whether or not to buy a pair of underwear with “call me” written on them. Everyone talks about how society tries to ruin our children – isn’t our job to teach them right from wrong and then be strong enough to let them make their own decisions? It’s not our childrens fault for wanting what everyone else has – it’s ours for not teaching them to be their own person and blaming everyone else for our lack of parenting skills.

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  33. People are blowing this way out of proportion. Victoria’s Secret is a LINGERIE store. They sell underwear and bras, among other things. Why are you allowing your middle schooler to shop there? You are the parent. You control where your children shop at. Don’t blame a store because they are doing what they do, which is make money and sell items. I’ve seen underwear at Walmart that says the same things and they’ve been out for years but I don’t see anyone boycotting Walmart because of it. Take responsibility for your own kids and stop blaming other people for things that happen to them

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  35. I agree. I also think that our young men, middle school ages, and even older men should never be faced with the images that may accompany that advertising. It’s a slippery slope we’re on….

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  36. Pingback: A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father | LB Living Better

  38. The young girls who will fall for this type of market are unfortunately the ones with parents who live in denial about setting borders and who refuse to spend the necessary time in conversation about these luring intrusions that give our daughters a fake self esteem that will not help them to stand for anything when it matters, including standing up for theirselves.

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  40. AMEN! How dare they? VS doesn’t earn enough from adults, they have to go after young girls now? How disgusting!!!

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  42. Okay, I am a 16 year old girl. I’ve bought maybe two bottles of perfume from VS and nothing more… Their sweatpants are comfy, I hear, but not once have I been tempted to but the almost-lingerie undergarments they sell there. The only way a young girl would be tempted to wear those degrading and age-inappropriate clothes is if she is being pressured into being sexualized by a boyfriend, friend, or even just society. Victoria’s Secret is a business, and it is not their problem that parents can’t handle their children. In a perfect world, everyone would have the best interests of the children in mind, but unfortunately, that just isn’t the case. Protecting children from the sexual nature of the modern world is impossible. What you as parents should be doing is talking to them, educating them on morality, on self-worth, and on the fact that their bodies are theirs alone. As a teenage girl, I can promise you, if you can earn your child’s respect, and speak to them as an equal, they WILL listen.

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    • Destinee, you sound just like my daughter! You both have a great pragmatic, common sense about you. Even though parents are responsible, and trust me I’ve been right on top of every opportunity to have a conversation even through the “Omigod, you’ve said it a million times!”, other influences can creep in, in spite of a watchful and involved parent. My daughter, son and I (along with a large group of people) recently watched a documentary that I’m sure you’ll appreciate. As a mother I was infuriated, saddened, but the fact that my kids watched it with me gives me so much hope for your generation! Watch it with your family and friends:

      http://www.missrepresentation.org/the-film/

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  43. I read a few of the comments and yes I agree with most. The bottom line is this is a free country. If you do not want your daughter to wear underwear that is from Victoria Secrets than don’t buy your daughter underwear from VS. Much like if you don’t want to watch zombies on television, change the channel…

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  44. Oh and my comment ended up right in the middle of some others. I am not targeting anyone here. I respect the right to differing opinions. So I hope no one is offended or feels like I was going after them. I just wanted to voice my own opinion on the article.

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  45. This is really just silly. When are parents going to start taking responsibility for raising their kids the right way? Instead of complaining and protesting that a company is producing a product that they are trying to market to young girls that will exploit them, KEEP YOUR KIDS AWAY FROM THE PRODUCT AND THE MINDSET THAT THESE PRODUCTS ARE GOOD! For Christ’s sake let the market dictate what succeeds and fails. This is the same as people protesting that McDonalds makes food that makes them fat. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN LIVES AND THE LIVES OF YOUR OWN CHILDREN PEOPLE.

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  46. We could start by stopping the fashion tv shows beauty pagent things with the little girls showing what they got at such an early age.

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  47. I believe VS has the right to promote whatever merchandise they choose to. However, I believe it is up to the parents to teach their daughters about sexuality and how they choose to display it. I personally would not buy from VS but I have a daughter who is 36 and if she chooses to buy from there that is her option. If she was a teenager, and still under my roof, I would sit down and have a discussion about the issue. I did back when she was a teen and I would still do it. Open communication is so important with our children. We cannot tell them what to do but we can be an example for them and always have an open mind.

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  48. I am with you on this one! My girls are 23 and 18 and although this does not affect my life situation personally, I can only imagine how a parent of young children may feel. It is disgusting that V.S. would even consider such a line condoning pre teen intense sexuality! what business does a child have wearing a thong!! really! and who might I add thought of this stuff??? wonder if its some 40 is pervert! I hope they do reconsider the line. Children at that age need to be children, there is plenty of time to grow into the thong! V.S. is one of the most popular stores in america, they surely can’t use the business. It sickens me more that the pedophile’s in this country will have an entire book made just for them!!! disgusting!

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    • I know plenty of girls back when I was in middle school that had thongs and guess where they DIDN’T buy them? VS! Kids can get what they want from any location, VS may just be getting the hit from some miscomm. about a pre-teen line and because they are more popular than other stores that sell lingerie.

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  49. I agree…VS should do the responsible thing here but parents need to have a stronger influence over their daughters.
    I see 10 year old girls at the mall with highlights, make up and shirt shorts, where are the parents to stop this behavior and say ‘No you don’t leave the house like that!’

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    • I dont know about the new advertising targets, but every time I walk by a VS store, there is always a man or two or three just hanging out across from it, looking in at the girls and window models. Makes me sick. They’re not waitng for anyone shopping there. They’re just lurking and lusting. PerveIts.

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  50. Couldn’t agree more!!!! Our girls & young women need us to fight for them & their innocence in this over-sexualized culture we live in!

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