A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father

/ Rev. Evan Dolive

An open letter to Victoria’s Secret regarding their choice to make an underwear line aimed at young teenagers. (Read about it here)

Dear Victoria’s Secret,

I am a father of a three year old girl. She loves princesses, Dora the Explorer, Doc McStuffins and drawing pictures for people. Her favorite foods are peanut butter and jelly, cheese and pistachios.

Even though she is only three, as a parent I have had those thoughts of my daughter growing up and not being the little girl she is now. It is true what they say about kids, they grow up fast. No matter how hard I try I know that she will not be the little ball of energy she is now; one day she will be a rebellious teenager that will more than likely think her dad is a total goof ball and would want to distance herself from my embarrassing presence.

I know that this is far down the line and I try to spend as much time as I can with her making memories of this special time.

But as I read an article today posted on The Black Sphere, it really got me thinking that maybe the culture that we currently find ourselves in is not helping the cause.

Recently I read an article that Victoria’s Secret is launching a line of underwear and bras aimed at middle school aged children. The line will be called “Bright Young Things” and will feature ” lace black cheeksters with the word “Wild” emblazoned on them, green and white polka-dot hipsters screen printed with “Feeling Lucky?” and a lace trim thong with the words, “Call me” on the front.”

As a dad, this makes me sick.

I believe that this sends the wrong message to not only my daughter but to all young girls.
I don’t want my daughter to ever think that her self-worth and acceptance by others is based on the choice of her undergarments. I don’t want my daughter to ever think that to be popular or even attractive she has to have emblazon words on her bottom.

I want my daughter (and every girl) to be faced with tough decisions in her formative years of adolescence. Decisions like should I be a doctor or a lawyer? Should I take calculus as a junior or a senior? Do I want to go to Texas A&M or University of Texas or some Ivy League School? Should I raise awareness for slave trafficking or lack of water in developing nations? There are many, many more questions that all young women should be asking themselves… not will a boy (or girl) like me if I wear a “call me” thong?

I want my daughter to know that she is perfect the way she is; I want my daughter to know that no matter what underwear she is wearing it does not define her.

I believe that this new line “Bright Young Things” thwarts the efforts of empowering young women in this country. “Bright Young Things” gives off the message that women are sex objects. This new line promotes it at a dangerously young age.

I implore you to reconsider your decision to start this line.

By doing so you will put young girl’s self-esteem, self-worth and pride above profits.

Sincerely,

Rev. Evan Dolive
Houston, TX

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2,835 thoughts on “A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father”

  1. Okay Dad. Are we willing to protect young woman and men that are not our children? Where is our out cry against the human trafficking that goes on during the super bowl? (I realize this is not the only event that this occurs) We need to drown them in emails and letters imploring them to take a huge step toward turning around this tragedy that is occurring as an “added attraction” to this huge sporting event. We do need to come along side each other to stop this attack against our children.

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  2. Positively with the father…….really we need to be aware of where and how we’re leading these children. Children are vulnerable and want to follow the crowd. We have to be careful and thoughtful as to our decisions.

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  3. It is true that parents should be responsible for teaching their daughters self worth, but I don’t think that this parent is saying the opposite. As a young woman who was raised in a conservative Christian home I was vouch for the rebellious teens putting more stock in what commercialization says girls should acts and look like. I never drank alcohol, never smoked, lost my virginity the night I married the most wonderful man in the world, and never owned lacy panties or and clothes that would be considered slutty or suggestive. This doesn’t mean that I didn’t think of any of those things or wish to be like the people who did everything that I was not supposed to do. Because of commercialism I was introduced to many things that the sensible side of me knew was not good for me. The silly teenager was protected from everything my parents could possible save me from. I agree with everything this father says because parents can refuse to buy things for their students, but they can’t hide their kids in a box. If parents don’t speak out against stuff like this, whether it will make a difference or not, they are not doing their job. This dad has raised awareness, he has made a difference. You can criticize him or love him, I doubt that he cares much because he is doing this for his daughter, not to gain approval from anyone.

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  5. To all those who have replied to this thinking that Victoria’s Secret is creating a new line of lingerie with a target audience of tweens……YOU ARE WRONG. If you all would google “Bright Young Things” you would find that it is the name of the spring break line of apparel from the Pink collection at Victoria’s Secret. For those who do not know what Pink is, it is a line of sweatpants, t shirts, accessories and yes ….bras and panties. “Bright Young Things” is all about colorful mix and match pieces for the girl going on spring break. The target age for this line is college age, NOT middle school….and just fyi from shopping at the store and in this collection I have seen women of all age purchase this line. Yes there are panties that are sheer and lacie. They do have saying’s or words on them that some may find inappropriate. Get over it and don’t buy them if they offend you. Do not sit here and continue to bash a company and say how horrible they are without having correct information about their product line.

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    • good eye, I didn’t do that much research but I agree with you, if you are worried about your tween wearing such items then don’t buy them and don’t allow them to wear them and like you said, it wasn’t designed for them anyway. VS isn’t stupid enough to think a 12 yr old girl needs something written on their underwear at all

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      • Thank you, Patti. To G.B. Osborne: I shop at Victoria’s Secret. I’m a grown woman and am plenty old enough to define my own sexuality. Teenage girls are not. There is such a thing as corporate responsibility and marketing sexually provocative underwear to girls – either directly or indirectly – is abdicating responsibility. The sexualization of younger and younger girls is a growing problem in our culture and one that should concern us all.

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      • Wow, for once I have to disagree with Snopes. I think it is only partly true. The claim is that the line is targeted at middle-school girls. There is no evidence for that, nor does Snopes present any.
        Also, I wasn’t able to find any evidence that the items with the slogans mentioned are, in fact, part of the Bright Young Things line, much less “featured”. Some of the links go to their general catalog site, so I can see how that misunderstanding could happen. Of course, just because I couldn’t find it doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

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    • I’m not taking the time to google these items from Victoria’s secret, and to be frankly honest, I don’t want that site appearing on my computer for as long as it will take me to figure out whether their “pink” line has offensive items as well. However, I’d like to point out that whether “bright young things” is specifically designed for college girls (which includes age 18) does not change the fact that it still objectifies young girls as sex objects. Sure, my daughter can make her own choices when she is 18, but I think most parents wouldn’t want their 18 year old daughter marketed to as if she is some hooker after men. It is still inappropriate and slutty, and takes advantage of young girls and their desire to fit in and be admired.

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      • Renea,

        It’s hard to have an opinion on an issue if you don’t know the facts, as you state:

        “I’m not taking the time to google these items from Victoria’s secret, and to be frankly honest, I don’t want that site appearing on my computer for as long as it will take me to figure out whether their “pink” line has offensive items as well.”

        I recommend that you research the FACTS first before making an ill informed opinion. It might be true (or not) that Victoria Secret is marketing to young girls. And if so, I am of the opinion that Victoria Secret should reconsider. However, I cannot fully come to this conclusion until I’ve researched the product line and marketing strategy behind this controversy.

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    • Not so much…quoted from their executive reported in Business Insider: “While the Pink brand is technically for college girls, a Victoria’s Secret executive admitted its actually designing for a younger audience in mind. ”
      “When somebody’s 15 or 16 years old, what do they want to be?” Chief Financial Officer Stuart Burgdoerfer said at a conference. “They want to be older, and they want to be cool like the girl in college, and that’s part of the magic of what we do at Pink.”

      Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/victorias-secret-teen-ads-2013-3#ixzz2OaCrMzRJ

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      • I emailed this to VS, in NY, NY. I spoke with VS marketing this morning on this issue and that is not their intention. Yes the Pink LIne is for an older teen and college. It’s a cute collection. I’ve bought some of it for our teen who is now in college. There is nothing with writing that says call me in any of the stores I’ve been in and I shop there at least once a week. I really think this is all hype and if you find information like that submit it on line to the web mail. They want to hear from people. Girls don’t get their self esteem and self value from lacy underwear.. They get it from their parents and education. At least that is where I got my self esteem and have done well in life wearing the VS collections.

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    • Dear GB Osborne,

      If you follow the Snopes link you will see that they are after teenage girls with this line. The original post is valid and you are being pretty naive if you don’t think tweens will be falling all over themselves to get this product. It’s sad that we have to push children into being adults before their time.

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    • Wow, every time I think people will wake up and begin to stem the tide of this wicked generation… I’m saddened to see that Romans 1:18 – 32 is the most accurate description of the most “educated” amongst us. Yet gb osborne and their ilk say “it takes a village”. I suppose they only mean that when the village wants to pollute them and mislead them. Your admonition to “get over it” is both absurd and myopic. Like it or not, Christians are commanded to rebuke evil and sin. And although the United States is far from the Christian nation it once was, it remains by God’s mercy “dotted” with a remnant that will not bow to this perverse generation.
      I have five children, three daughters who are all fighting to be leaders to the young girls around them. I could list their accomplishments, but that is no more evidence of their desire to please God with their lives than would be the accomplishments of the wicked. I can say I am proud of them though, and that may no small thing as my daughters try to weed through the misleading and indulgent advice of most people. People who would be quick to say “what do you care what your father thinks anyway???”. Well, if you don’t care what your father thinks of what you have written on your butt, then you have already made your decision about what you will be for and what you will be against. As for me and my house, we will serve Christ.

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    • Check out snopes.com. Refusing to admit there is a problem doesn’t make it go away. Neither does being ignorant or unable to understand the subtlety of that problem. In fact, it results in you being PART of the problem.

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    • I have to say that Bright Young Things would have appealed more to the girls milling about my highschool than the ones on my university campus. All that neon and hyper sexual words on my ass? Yeah, no thanks. A neon orange “Lets make out?” in cursive font on your thong is something that I imagine would be more popular with the middle school crowd (ohhh racy) than with the college girls (because its gross and childish and really dumb).

      I would TOTALLY say, regardless of what the company says, it’s marketed towards younger audience – teenagers specifically who are on the cusp of university. Teenage girls want to appear older, wiser, and cooler – they want to project the idea that they’re as mature and experienced as the 20-something university spring-break type girls. It’s like how barbie commercials usually show pre-teen girls rather than the true demographic of 6 year olds – because they want young girls to think its cool by marketing through the gateway demographic of the next oldest strata. Would VS admit that they’re trolling for tweens? Doubtful – because as we’ve seen there has been mega backlash as parents think ‘Holy shit they’re coming for my sixth grader with their thongs and sexuality’ but from a purely observational standpoint it’s totally designed with that audience in mind. It’s all visuals, colours, language and overall sentiments that would be more attuned with very young girls.

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    • Middle school age or college age, a company should not be treating females as if they’re objects. Women have a hard enough time in this world being taken seriously, why make it any harder on us by blatantly telling everyone we are pieces of property?
      Yes, sure we don’t have to buy the products that show women as overly sexy or with sexually laced messages on the butt, but they’re still out there and that is problem enough. It’s a problem because it’s saying, “look at me, I need to be everything YOU want me to be” not who I want to be. It’s also a problem, because its showing little girls that women need to fit into these bras and panties in order to be sexy and in order to be loved.
      So get YOUR information correct before bashing people that care about women.

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    • You OBVIOUSLY work for the company’s PR, because you’re the only one to deny the marketing to little girls. FYI: adults don’t go on Spring Break. Even if collegiate girls do, “cute” is less their forte and more of a teenage girls’ genre. If what you described is “correct information,” then the company has even LESS of a chance of not angering the public. In theory, YOU ARE WRONG for making what you call “defense” of the product seem exactly like what we, the consumer, believed to start with.

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    • Psst, gb osborne: According to VS chief financial officer, they’re aimed at 15 yr olds who want to look like college girls. Let’s face it though, Justine Beiber is the performer they hired for the big Pink show. In other words, the line is really directed at 12 and 13 yr olds.

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    • before i judged, i looked it up.You are correct.VS has a Spring Break Line…..your “child” should not be indulging in actual “spring break” until she is old enough to pick her own underwear and bathing suits. I didnt see any underwear in the line at all.flip flops,towels and bathing suits without anything written on the tush. ..They have panties and bras….in the womens line that they sell. The women on this Spring Break ad are over 18,not children. I personally was happy to take my teens to VS to buy bras that FIT them correctly instead of OUR TEEN YEARS: having to slink through walmart trying to find something and pretend that buying underwear is something to be ashamed of. VS empowers women,it makes them feel good about their body instead of hiding it.

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    • gb, I’m afraid you are the one who is wrong! And, it isn’t just VS using this crap-trap to entice young girls into some ”the only value in ‘me’, is defined by what I wear”. Everyone is on the bandwagon! Until a child is about 13 years old, there should be NO enticing this way! You say that parents who don’t agree with this, don’t have to buy it? Wrong again! Girls live in a constant fear of ‘not fitting in’, of ‘appearances are everything’, and a quivering self esteem as it is. Parents cannot stand to see their little girls sobbing in their bedrooms over anything! They will cave, and buy this line (that should be outlawed!) for little Suzie! This type of clothing sends out a message: “I’m game”, “Sex is ‘me’!”, and “Look boys, I’m available!” If you or these fashion companies don’t care about that, it’s because money is more important than morals! It is just as appalling to me, to offer this form of junk-food to kids as those ridiculous after school cartoons geared to send out messages depicting girls as sex objects, and brats in the school yards — and that nauseating ‘Tots in Tiaras’ show!!! My feelings are shared with many, many Mothers and Fathers out there, too, by the way. It’s a trap for parents, and it’s wrong!! P.S., the morally indecent undergarments being put out there ‘is’ sold to kids! It is also designed to look good only on tooth-picks; another ingredient to start a girl on a very dangerous road to anorexia …

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    • It’s unfortunate that that information is buried somewhere in the much older comments! You’re right…should have looked into it but when you see “Reverend” you kind of want to jump into “defend to the end” mode. I suppose it could be a “note to self…never design a line of unmentionable unmentionables for kids”!

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  6. It really is a shame to hear that a company that was formed to create clothing for Queen Victoria has come to this sad state. I have worked for VS and their garments are meant to instigate sexual thoughts and desires in men. This is a poor ethical choice by the company and will more then likely hurt their profits more then inflat them.

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  7. I am a mother of 5 children and 2 step children and I see the father’s point. The differences in our society from when my oldest was born 21 years ago, to now is crazy! We have girls of all ages being raped and killed, and the rapists use the excuse that thier clothing was provacative! You would think that the people in charge of children’s clothing would take this into consideration and make better choices in what to market for them. But…we also have parents who don’t give a rat’s ass what thier kids do, and this is where we have younger children buying adult items. The parents do need to take responsibility for what thier children learn. BUT< YOU WOULD THINK THAT THE DAMN STORES WOULD HELP US IN OUR CAUSE…KEEPING OUR CHILDREN SAFE AND YOUNG! ARE WE GOING TO START MARKETING NAKED CHILDREN IN ADS FOR THE LINE TOO?

    I want to applaude this father for taking a stand against VS for the rights of his child. Would you really let your children wer this crap? Everything is becoming tied into drugs, sex, and more sex. KEEP THE KIDS OUT OF IT!

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      • Actually, CK did this with Brooke Shields in the late 70’s (provocative ads).
        People are concerned about pedophiles, kids growing up too fast, rape, girls/women being treated as objects. Well, VS is a mega campaign geared towards all of the above. Fact.
        Slutty, white trash gear.

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  8. Rev Dolive: I commend you for so eloquently stating your case against the line of lingerie directed toward young girls. It is my sentiments exactly. The value God places on each one of us stems drectly from His profound, unconditional love. Our daughters are His daughters and are worthy in His sight. Therein lies our value, not what is stated on underthings.

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  9. I agree with him that this line of underwear and it’s “prints” have crossed a line in the underwear business that shouldn’t be crossed HOWEVER I also think that signing the letter, “Rev. Dolive”… may have made his letter less touching to the people at Victoria Secret. Before you get bent out of shape, I am a devout christian but a lot of people think we are just “too uptight” and “bible thumpers” so therefore our opinions get pushed to the side to accomidate the ever changing society that thinks freedom means letting America go to hell in a hand basket… I would have left that part out and I am convinced his letter would have had more credibility (unfortunately)

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  10. I was not even allowed in this store until I was old enough to drive myself there & buy things with my own money, and by then I wasn’t stupid enough to pay $20 for a pair of underwear. I commend this dad for saying something. Even as a mother to a son, I want to show my son that women are people and can do anything boys can do and they should be treated as equals in an otherwise messed up society. I agree completely with this post!

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  11. I agree with the father this is not appropriate for this age and i agree that vs should be a 18 over store only. But i also know as a mom i just wont be allowing my daughter in there. we as parents need to watch our kids enough they wont be buying this stuff. It is funny how us and i mean us as me to blame consumers for our children bad decisions, but you really need to ask your self if you or i was watching what our children were doing. would they be having sex at 8, would they be teen moms, would they be buying things that we know are unacceptable? NO!! That is why I as a mom going to make sure i watch my children every move. where they go i will know. what they are doing i will know. I mean even when you dont think im there i come around the corner. So come on parents lets stop blaming the people out there and start taking responsible for them ourselves

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  12. I totally agree! MANY teens are getting pregnant & unable to support their babies!! I have a teen & work with teens 14 to 21 year olds! I see this everyday!! This world has become a sex crazed place! It scares me to think of the future & my daughter being exposed to all this pre-sex exposure!! Please help our children stay safer by eliminating trashy crap like this!! Thank you!

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    • I have been shopping at Victoria’s Secret since the 3rd grade. In fourth grade, I bought, with my parents there, a cami that said “naughty angel” that I wore under my shirts.

      It does NOT matter what your daughter has written on her panties, it’s YOUR job a as a parent to make sure that no one sees what is written on there. Teach her values and you won’t have to point the finger at a corporation instead.

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      • You dont know anything about parenting if you think that kids will be more likely to listen to YOU than the media or what other kids at school find cool.

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      • Oh Lucy, that is just sad. So sorry that you feel that a company doesn’t have to have a moral compass. So many companies have so much money that they will never be accountable, but when you get the dander up on several thousands of parents, the company will do something. Look up what happened when abercrombie (the kids’ line) came out with thongs. So sorry that your parents thought it prudent to bring you shopping Victoria’s Secret with it’s inappropriate clothing for children, and so sorry that at nine years old you thought that a shirt that said “naughty angel” was something you wanted, and your parents thought was cute. Ultimately it was their choice, since you were a minor.

        The sadness is two-fold. One, because now you have devolved into one of the people who help sexualize, infantilize, and objectify women, and two, because you’re a woman.

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  14. I totally agree. I have a 10 year old granddaughter and I already think some of the clothes for her size are “too mature”

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  15. Agreed. And as a mother to two SONS, I worry about the role this plays on their minds. What images are they going to be seeing when this new line comes out, (or even the images now VS and a lot of other chains already post in HUGE posters at our local mall,) that are going to only aid in the thoughts they will think about woman? Our society is too sexually driven and while, I’ll admit, I shop VS for myself, this is just crossing the line.

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  16. This opens the opportunity to say how much my mother & I have always missed VICTORIA’S SECRET, yea,, Victoris’s Secret,,, back in the EARLY 90’s and earlier.. It is extremely unfortunate that like everything else, this company has become tacky & tainted……

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  17. Well….PARENTS don’t buy your daughters anything from VS…Problem solved. If it wasn’t bought, they would probably eventually quit selling them. I agree with the father’s letter. All these companies think about is making the big bucks. COMPANIES YOU NEED TO THINK WHAT YOUR ACTIONS DO TO THE PRE-TEENS AND TEENAGERS BEFORE YOU ACT ON THEM.

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  18. This is outragous! Can Victoria’s Secret find another way to make money without corrupting young innocent girls!

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  19. I Sincerely
    Thank YOU! For saying it so well my Daughter is not a Call Girl or a PLAYTHING for all the males out there who “want to use her” Sadly it seems Victoria’s Secret must need the money..

    I agree with you sir, Reverend Dolive I won’t be patronizing them..
    as a Dad I could not agree with you more thanks for speaking up in this open letter and being a change agent for GOOD! I

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    • Pish-posh… its not the job of American corporations to raise your child the way you want them to be raised… There are a heck of a lot more risque underwear choices than what you can find at VS… don’t believe me? Try to find one exotic dancer, just one, who buys her scandalous attire from VS… and good luck with that. Point is, if you raise your daughter to believe that scandalous underwear is acceptable at 13, she’s going to get it from somewhere if she has the capacity, and if you razor to believe it’s not appropriate, then it won’t matter bbwho is or isn’t selling such garments…and if you raise if youu raise her to believe that its not apprpriate

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  20. Are we having this argument because parents do not trust their daughters to keep their pants on? If you teach good values, morals and self respect to a girl, no one will see those cute little panties that are in style except for her, her BFF’s at a sleepover, and the girls she dresses next to in gym class. New flash: VS has been marketing teenage girls for years now. My girls are teens and I can’t count how many of their friends I have seen wearing the word PINK written on the bum of their black yoga pants, and of course there is always the lingering smell of some sort of VS body spray in our home. When my daughters took their Christmas gift money to the mall, one of the stores on their list was VS. At that time, they purchased and picked out their OWN underwear and a body spray. They DIDN’T pick out overly sexy panties with provocative words on them. They picked out underwear that would be comfy, look good under their clothing and was on sale! They are not unpopular geeks. They are happy, well adjusted, straight A-teenage girls. For the parent who insists they will buy their teenager’s panties until they move out at age 18…:really? Granny panties? My philosophy is: Educate your daughters about boys, sex, pregnancy, disease and how once you get a reputation it will always haunt you. Don’t make sex an ugly subject that you don’t even discuss. Some girls will never get over the “sex is a bad thing” stigma. Think about it…

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    • Ruby, you make some very good points and I agree about not making sex an ugly subject. However, there is solid research that shows younger and younger girls are engaging in sexual acts not to please themselves but to please boys. There is difference between being a sexual object for men and being in control of your own sexuality.

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    • THANK YOU for putting your opinion out here for these other parents to see! I feel the same exact way. This is an ugly world, but we shouldnt shelter our kids and make them believe that sex is “bad”. In all honesty the more you shelter your kids from whats going on outside of your household the more you are crippling them and setting them up for failure. I also have a 3yr old daughter and she too is precious to me, but we have really good communication and although I am a young parent I refuse to let my daughter grow up assuming that the world is all rainbows and butterflies. She has a strong personality and completely independent, but she is exposed to some issues that some parents are too afraid to talk about. Victoria Secret is going to continue campaigning what they want to whom they want. Its our job as parents to raise our children to identify what right and wrong, when to be strong, and make good decisions.

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  21. FB Osborne: the Pastor’s letter is applicable to girls & women of all ages, middle school through college & beyond…….thank you Pastor Dolive for writing it

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  22. Awesomely written 🙂
    I really agree even though I couldn’t care less about garments or to be “sexy” in those days but I did get affected. Tight clothes that showed the most etc and now (I’m 19 years old) I only where baggy or flowy clothes and feels so much better. Seriously men have no right to take advantage no matter what girls where but at least I don’t bring em eye-candy anymore 🙂

    I wish that the bizarre fashion change and our strange thoughts about sexuality change and that women become stronger in themselves.

    May your daughter have a safe life and be able to make the most out of it and that you will have some peace to your mind 🙂

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  23. American American , read the Bible, return to God, then no one will face like these problems, God will protect your children from all the danger in this wicked world, pray to join God’s family, then you will see His protection.

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  24. I wonder if VS has thought this through? Not only is it sending the wrong message to our young girls, but you are also sending a very strong message to the boys and pediphiles out there. And that message is that if a girl wears this underware she is asking for the results. There will be neysayers out there that disagree, but I speak from experience with males, I know over 300 of them from babies to granddads. Over the years I have asked them all about things like this, and have generally gotten the above response from them. And they come from all walks of life, from jailbirds, to lawyers, doctors, engeneers, etc, etc.

    The things that I have seen and heard over the years on this subject are enough to put into a book, but I am not a PhD. Due to some issues as a child, I was a watcher, (not allowed to participate and just ended up watching people), by the time I was 10, 11, and 12, I was commended for having a pretty good head on my shoulders. I was not your typical preteen. Therefore I made other choices that were not so popular with my peers. I chose to be different and not ‘go with the flow’ like everyone else. I did watch as my peers made their choices and some were good, some bad, but always it was their choice.

    Today as a grandmother, I worry about the messages that companies are sending to our kids and what the government is telling them that is okay.

    What disturbs me the most is that this line would give the pediphiles even more reason to go after the little girls. I will have to keep an even more vigilant watch on them (all children in my sphere of influence), to make sure that all the children stay safe, and I will have to up my education on what they need to watch for to stay safe. Thank you VS for making it hard for us to keep our children safe.

    P.S. I don’t buy VS since a clerk tried to tell me my cup size was way bigger than it is, just because I am overweight.

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    • the only way a girl can send a boy a message with her panties is by showing him her panties. and at that point i don’t think what you’re worried about is the panties.

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  25. No matter how old you are, do you really want to advertise yourself with the messages that are written across your panties? Women today complain that men don’t respect them…duh!

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  26. Rev, I appreciate your letter. It was very well written and definitely heart felt. I have two older teen girls that when they use their own money are allowed to shop at VS. However at the time I allowed them to shop there they were directed to the appropriate clothing for their age. They have never been allowed to wear clothing with words scrolled across their bodies. Front or back. Start when they are young and they will be leaders as they grow. People learn what they see, not what they are preached. I have always felt lead by example was much better then do as I say not as I do. Thanks.

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  27. Objectification of women? Bad idea. Sex as a currency? Bad idea. Sexuality as the most important characteristic of people? Bad idea. Obsession with the “image” leading to weird practices like crazy diets, eating disorders, liposuctions, plastic surgeries etc? Bad idea.
    But, also, full denial and suppression of sexuality at any age? Bad idea. Obsession with celibacy? Bad idea. Asking teenagers to just “suffer through” their most important period of sexual awareness? Bad idea. Blaming underwear and clothes for pedophilia and rapes and teenage pregnancy? Bad idea (actually, that’s just untrue).
    Not being weird and cryptic and embarrassed about sexuality? Good idea. Raising kids to know about sex and not be weird about it? Good idea. Teaching them early about how to take care of themselves, how to safely get to know sex? Good idea. Most of all, raising them in a way that they don’t feel guilty for their sexual needs when they hit puberty? That’s the greatest idea of all.

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    • i was raised with the idea that you virginity is the most precious thing ever for your wedding night. then, when i was 8, a dude showed me porn, went down on me (i thought, hey, that’s nice), and then sodomized me (that was not nice). how do you say, “i got raped in the butt” when you just committed the sin of getting your clit licked and liking it?

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      • wow, i’m not on the internet a lot. i’m starting to think i should have put *trigger warning* on that i forgot where i was, because when i saw that we were policing girls bodies i thought that we were having an indepth discussion about the reality of rape.

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  28. He’s not saying she has to go to college or become a Dr if your ranting about that then u shld stop we all have dreams for our kids there’s no harm in aiming for the top and its not like his 3 yr old has told him what her plans for adulthood are HELLO! Any loving father-which clearly he is wld support her no matter her career choice as long as she does it in the way a Godly young woman wld….its not feministic to work and be a mom, lady, I can be a submissive wife a spirit filled daughter AND a biblical mommy don’t underestimate those of us who dont stay at home a home school our kids and darn our look-a-like dresses if that’s for u awesome but I can be a Godly woman anywhere anytime any circumstance.

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  29. I agreed with this man and commend his actions to protect his “bright, young DAUGHTER” who is not a thing but a precious gift from GOD!!!

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  30. I would love to know how victoria secret responded. That being said, it saddens me to see parents who dress their even younger children in mini adult clothing. Sometimes, it starts at home.

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  31. VS is about making money, they don’t care about respecting anyone no matter what your age is. They won’t stop unless it’s because of laws. The only way to hit them where it hurts is their wallet. Stop buying ANYTHING from them. Tell your hubbies and boyfriends to stop buying ANYTHING from VS period!

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  32. I agree that this is appalling, for all the reasons already mentioned. But I also don’t agree with all the “leave it for the adults” messages. Why should adults be wearing this kind of clothing and modeling it for their children? I am not a prude, but I believe that the beautiful gift of our sexuality was given us for a much higher and more satisfying purpose than to be used as a manipulative tool. I feel the same way about Abercrombie & Fitch. For years, I have bought nothing from them or VS just because I don’t appreciate their use of sexuality as a manipulative marketing tool.

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  33. As a mom of 2 young woman, I never bought clothing that had words written across the Butt. It puts peoples eyes in the wrong places. As I am walking through the some stores its as if they want our toddlers to dress up like hookers. Its disgusting how people are not protecting our children…you hear so many pedophiles out there…so why are we baiting them ??? Protect our kids clothing industries !! keep our kids kids !!

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  34. “While the Pink brand is technically for college girls, a Victoria’s Secret executive admitted its actually designing for a younger audience in mind.”
    “When somebody’s 15 or 16 years old, what do they want to be?” Chief Financial Officer Stuart Burgdoerfer said at a conference. “They want to be older, and they want to be cool like the girl in college, and that’s part of the magic of what we do at Pink.”

    And that “magic” is exactly what we are concerned about. My children (girls) will never wear ANY piece of clothing that spells something on their back ends. It’s bad enough they advertise for the companies that sell overpriced gauze for t-shirts.

    Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/victorias-secret-teen-ads-2013-3#ixzz2OaCrMzRJ

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  35. I just taught my daughter from an early age that no women with any sense of self respect or self worth would ever dream of being a customer of Victoria Secret and she has never felt the need to to shop there for anything. She knows she is so much better than that – and that is the message that she sends out to her friends as well. Now in their 20s they just don’t bother to shop there – they actually think the place is a joke.

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  37. That’s when you become a figure in her life and take her to that store and buy her undies without words in glitter all over them.
    Not a single pair I own from there is glittered and worded. There are still cute finds that dont show off too much or too skimpy as well.
    Don’t judge a store because you automatically think intercourse. As a woman, I see that store as empowering and to embrace my butt/belly/breasts/body and it’s always nice to buy a branded label and not spend $80 on two pair of underwear. It’s also nice not having to go to Lane Bryant anymore because I’ve lost weight and feel secure in my own skin.
    Be a PARENT, not a Reverend or a Basher. And set foot in a VS before you hear rumors and snap judge.

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    • I have a daughter and a son. I don’t care for VS. It’s taken me a long time to break the chains of what society has force fed me on what’s “pretty” or “sexy” and how I should LOOK as a female. I am sexy to my husband when I treat him well, laugh and joke with him and respect his body and his likes. It has taken him a long time as well that he doesn’t need to see me in lace to be sexy. I am sexy to him just as me. My daughter is being taught that as well. However, she is a young teen. She feels the pull of how all the “popular” girls wear it and lots of makeup etc. She has actually cried tears and told me “Why aren’t I pretty just being me? Why do girls have to do and wear all these things just for other people or boys to like them? What is Pretty exactly anyways?” I wish every single person could hear that cry.For centuries and centuries women over and over and over again have been told “you are not pretty until you do THIS or wear THIS” and I will equate “pretty” with “worthwhile”. I will applaud anyone like this dad who says ENOUGH! and no it really isn’t enough just to “not shop there”. You have to make pur voices heard that women are not objects. We are not an arts and craft project to be glitzed and glammed and put on display for money in someones pocket.Using teens as a target for this is shameful, and they need to be publicly called on the carpet for it. Cigarette manufacturers many years ago used the same tactic. Many of their ad campaigns were found to be targeted at teens. Couldn’t parents back then just “not shopped for them” for the kids? No. It was not until a voice became united to say ENOUGH! leave our children alone.

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    • Jade: I am not sure why my comment landed here. i though I was in the “general” reply box for the article. my comment was in no way targeted at you and I truly apologize if it offends you at all.

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  38. I agree with this father 110%. Sex appeal is not appropriate for young children. That’s why babies are having babies. I believe that raising your child right and crossing your fingers is all you can do because then you have the outside world trying to push them to grow up too fast. I grew up when things were changing and when I was 25 and wished I was younger again! Let these kids grow up and act like 15 year olds not like they are 25. And for the record I LOVE VS however I am an adult with children! Once youre an adult everyone should enjoy VS but not as a child.

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  39. Raising a boy is an arduous and circuitous task. But at least you’ve been a boy someday (a very long time ago) and you kow how it works. But
    raising a girl is a pointless and futile task. It’s like walking the deck of a mutinous frigate, crossing an unfathomable ocean, meandering trough unchartered waters. She will set full sails when you’ll beg her to reef-up. She will drive you crazy lolling in doldrums. She mighy even let dubious derelicts take her in tow, call at forbidden harbours, fly false flags. But somehow, she will (with the Grace of God) reach a safe mooring. Preferably alongside a crisp crack man o’war (Remeber, as liberal as you may be, when it comes to your daugther you’re a Tory and a pig). So, when the pipes have called her crew down, pack your things, walk the planck , salute the flag, and leave her. From now on, hang about the longshoremen and pretend you’re Simbad the Sailonr, Doctor Spock and the Wizard of Oz wrapped-up in a single man.

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  40. This article reminds me of Walmart in 2000. They tried to market little girl (size 2T – 4T) THONGS! It was discusting. We picketed Walmart and they removed these baby thongs from their shelves. Sadly, clothing choices for girls are about the same as they would be for adults. Many clothing items are just not acceptable for children that would be for adults.

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  41. Jesus Christ no one is being forced to wear this underwear. Perhaps the author of the letter should focus more of imparting good values to his daughter- instead of complaining publicly about a company.
    If you dont like what they sell… dont buy it.

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  42. VS is exactly like all of the other stores in the US. They care about one thing and one thing only? MAKING MONET! They do not care about your morals or any ones. They want the bucks!

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  45. It’s hardly an issue that is Victoria’s Secret’s to solve. As a parent, YOU control what your kids watch on TV or read in books or magazines. YOU control what clothes they own and wear. If your daughters see a Victoria’s Secret ad, and think “I have to wear THOSE in order for people to like me” then I have news for you: their self-worth was pretty low to start with, and that’s on YOU. If you teach your kids not to be materialistic skanks who have to have sexy underwear to show their boyfriend(s), then what Victoria’s Secret does won’t mean a thing.

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  46. Thank you so much!!! I agree 100%! As a mother of a 6 year old and 1 Year old girls I am appalled. I hope they reconsider.

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  48. I don’t buy from VS because of their use of angels to sell their sexy line. Angels are heavenly beings and I find this objectionable as well as the “come and get me” messages on the underwear. However, as long as you buy it they will sell it and it will get worse and worse.

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  49. It amazes me the people that complain about this guy voicing his opinion about Victoria’s Secret and are telling him if he doesn’t like it don’t buy it, but then in the same breath condemning him for sharing his own opinion on his own personal website. So it’s okay for Victoria’s Secret to actively market and brand their opinions into society as a nationwide ad campaign, but it’s not okay for a private citizen to share his own concern on his own personal website? Who exactly are the hypocrites again?

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  50. Pingback: Pink, Parenting and Pre-Adolescent Lingerie | Nancy Colasurdo | Writer - Columnist - Life Coach

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