A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father

An open letter to Victoria’s Secret regarding their choice to make an underwear line aimed at young teenagers. (Read about it here)


Dear Victoria’s Secret,

I am a father of a three year old girl. She loves princesses, Dora the Explorer, Doc McStuffins and drawing pictures for people. Her favorite foods are peanut butter and jelly, cheese and pistachios.

Even though she is only three, as a parent I have had those thoughts of my daughter growing up and not being the little girl she is now. It is true what they say about kids, they grow up fast. No matter how hard I try I know that she will not be the little ball of energy she is now; one day she will be a rebellious teenager that will more than likely think her dad is a total goof ball and would want to distance herself from my embarrassing presence.

I know that this is far down the line and I try to spend as much time as I can with her making memories of this special time.

But as I read an article today posted on The Black Sphere, it really got me thinking that maybe the culture that we currently find ourselves in is not helping the cause.

Recently I read an article that Victoria’s Secret is launching a line of underwear and bras aimed at middle school aged children. The line will be called “Bright Young Things” and will feature ” lace black cheeksters with the word “Wild” emblazoned on them, green and white polka-dot hipsters screen printed with “Feeling Lucky?” and a lace trim thong with the words, “Call me” on the front.”

As a dad, this makes me sick.

I believe that this sends the wrong message to not only my daughter but to all young girls.
I don’t want my daughter to ever think that her self-worth and acceptance by others is based on the choice of her undergarments. I don’t want my daughter to ever think that to be popular or even attractive she has to have emblazon words on her bottom.

I want my daughter (and every girl) to be faced with tough decisions in her formative years of adolescence. Decisions like should I be a doctor or a lawyer? Should I take calculus as a junior or a senior? Do I want to go to Texas A&M or University of Texas or some Ivy League School? Should I raise awareness for slave trafficking or lack of water in developing nations? There are many, many more questions that all young women should be asking themselves… not will a boy (or girl) like me if I wear a “call me” thong?

I want my daughter to know that she is perfect the way she is; I want my daughter to know that no matter what underwear she is wearing it does not define her.

I believe that this new line “Bright Young Things” thwarts the efforts of empowering young women in this country. “Bright Young Things” gives off the message that women are sex objects. This new line promotes it at a dangerously young age.

I implore you to reconsider your decision to start this line.

By doing so you will put young girl’s self-esteem, self-worth and pride above profits.

Sincerely,

Rev. Evan Dolive
Houston, TX


PLEASE REVIEW THE COMMENT POLICY

Please stay positive with your comments. If your comment is rude, it gets deleted. If it is critical, please make it constructive.

2,835 thoughts on “A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father

  1. I 100% agree !!!! As a mother of a 3 yr old little girl I feel the sane way! And if Victoria secrect is to come out with such horrible things I will boycott them even for myselfs..

    Like

  2. It’s cute and trendy and it’s natural for women to want to tease a little. But it doesn’t mean we’re going to wear it for all the men out there. I love their underwear and its something i take lightly. Just because I wear Victoria’s Secret underwear doesn’t mean I’m a slut. I know lawyer and doctor friends who wear the underwear and aren’t loose. I myself am an art director at a prestigious agency in a really good relationship. So your stereotype of women who wear VS underwear is way off. Bring your girl up with good values. Don’t over protect her. And just love her and keep her secure. She’ll be fine.

    Victoria’s Secret isn’t sending the wrong message. You’re just misinterpreting it.

    Oh, and you of all people should know better than to judge.

    – a successful VS underwear user, who goes to mass on Sundays, graduated from a top university, took a masters and is now in a prestigious agency handling big brands like Listerine and Shell, and is In a really healthy respectful relationship.

    Like

    • you are clearly a grown woman. this is about marketing toward young teens. get a grip, lady, and learn some reading comprehension. what is good for a woman 20+years old is not ok for a girl of 13/14/15. HELLO!

      Like

      • Thank you John! My daughter was three years old when she looked at a VS magazine that came in the mail. She went in the bathroom and came out with her underwear under her navel declaring she was wearing “big girl panties.” Needless to say, I have NEVER allowed any magazines of this nature in my home again!

        Like

      • If you don’t like what VS is putting on their underwear, then don’t buy it problem solved. But if any of you don’t like what VS is trying to market, then i hope none of you buy your child clothes at Abercrombie and Fitch either, because I’ve seen shirt with graphics on them that say “team fitch #69” or something along those lines, which I’m sure we all know what that means. Its a lot easier to keep your child out of Victorias Secret them Abercrombie and Fitch, and a lot easier to keep them from seeing someones undergarments then what is on a classmates shirt. If your going to act one company you need to take in account all the other ones that market inappropriate things for kids at a young age, like the fact that not being a size 2 till your 18 is wrong, which is wrong.

        Like

    • You have misunderstood the authors intent. He’s not aiming his comments at people who wear VS and are adults. His comments are focused on YOUNG teen girls, which is where this new line of undergarment is aimed at. A 13 or 14 year old girl should NOT be concerned about her bra or thong, but rather be focused on her future. That is what this father is trying to say in a nut shell.

      Like

      • You are right. That person did misunderstand the authors intent. This is poor marketing. Young girls do not need to be shopping in this store. VS do not need to market to them. Let’s put up some boundaries in our culture. Sexy underwear is not for 13 and 14 year olds, as we do not want them having sex. They need to stay focused on purity and future training.

        Like

    • You, clearly, don’t get it. He is not stereotyping anyone. He isn’t saying that wearing VS underwear makes you a failure. It takes much more than “loving her and keeping her secure” and he IS trying to bring her up with good values. Don’t be so defensive.

      Like

    • And who is obviously a grown woman. Exactly the point he is making. You are not a teenager. You cannot honestly think that it is a good idea or natural for a young teenager to want to be a tease. Or, perhaps you can.

      Like

    • Yes, natural for WOMEN to “tease a little”… NOT middle schoolers. You obviously aren’t a parent yet or you would also be offended at the sexualization of our babies. A middle-schooler doesn’t have the capacity to distinguish VS’s ‘message’ and it is her parents’ job to do so…. which is exactly what this Dad is doing. VS should be ashamed of themselves and should keep their products to adults. I have an 18-month-old daughter and every time I see a blasted pair of pants with the words “Old Navy” or otherwise plastered on the butt of toddler pants, I want to burn them. My toddler’s butt isn’t a place for advertising. :-/

      Like

    • WOMEM may want to tease but a GIRL in middle school should not have it put in her mind that its ok to be a tease! She should be acting like the child she is! Why even put words on underwear if its not to be seen by someone!? He did not misinterpret anything!! As an adult, I would agree it would be fine to wear something like that, but to target children with underwear yielding those phrases is just wrong, plain and simple!

      Like

    • People still go to church and have sex with different partners. You can have a masters, but no common sense. Keeping provocative underwear away from 12 year old is common sense. That don’t understand what kid of message that sends to others like a mid age adult does.

      Like

    • I am a mom of a 2 year old daughter. I enjoy shopping a VS. BUT my daughter will not be aloud in that store until she is 18. Yea its natural for a girl to want to be flirty but a TWEEN should not..

      Like

    • As stated before your misunderstanding the letter! This is a concerned father for very good reason that is not only protecting his own child but other young girls as well! It’s not ok to market and sell thong underwear to MIDDLE SCHOOL AGED CHILDREN, with it without wording on them. I feel just like this father does and the think this line should be reconsidered!

      Like

    • You are clearly a mature woman who knows who she is and wants she wants out of life. In that state you are perfectly capable of choosing to buy Victoria’s Secret and taking it as “lightly” as you choose. This father’s concern, and a legitimate one it is, is that the new line is aimed at pre-teen girls. These girls are in their formative years and aren’t ready to be prancing around in underwear with sexually suggestive slogans on them. If grown women choose to buy VS, fine. But please don’t suggest you think it’s appropriate for children.

      Like

    • I think you’re misinterpreting – There’s nothing wrong with wearing Victoria Secret underwear…

      But there is something VERY wrong with having their new line targeted at 11-14 year olds. Instead of cotton underwear and training bras in bright colours they’re encouraging these children to wear sexualized underwear with phrases like “feeling lucky?” and “call me?” printed on their panties. Young girls that age shouldn’t be ‘teasing or seductive’.

      If I had a young daughter I would feel the exact same way as Rev. Evan Dolive. It takes a village to raise a child.

      Like

    • is it natural for women to want to tease a little? really? so people are just born with an innate sense to psychologically manipulate people? or is it just women? or is it just women around sexuality?
      you’re totally missing the point. the reverend isn’t attacking all of Victoria’s Secret, or Victoria’s Secret wearers (and FYI, you may want to look up the history of how the company started), he’s chastising them for sexualizing a group of people who are extremely vulnerable and still figuring out their sexuality.
      yes, a time will come when these women may want to tease a bit or be teased. they may want to wear items that make them feel sexy and wanted in a sexual way. but middleschooler’s are just starting to develop sexually if at all. they need time to figure that out on their own. they need time to figure out who they are and what they want without the pressures of society, especially a company only looking for new market segments.
      the problem isn’t whether or not a person decides to wear provocative or suggestive clothing, the problem is when a person wears something sexually suggestive and has no idea why they are doing it.
      the main message here is let children be children and adults be adults. when companies, groups, people, or anything or one else tries to mix those lines things get problematic.

      Like

    • You are an art director and you could not read and understand that this letter is about YOUNG TEENS! It has nothing to do with adult women and their lingerie choices. VS is so off the mark with this line it is ridiculous. I hope the company reconsiders their choice.

      Like

    • Childeren are very impressionable. I bet you didn’t have any of these articles of clothing until you were of an age where you understood (or at the slightest, concieved) it’s intent.

      Like

    • Can I ask u something are you a mother of a little girl? If your not then you can’t really say how you would feel. I’m a mom of two little girls and I would not let them wear them. No I’m not judging anyone who sexy wears underwear. I myself do but my girls at that age should not wear them. No other girls should. Have you ever seen that TV show teen mom? Well just maybe you should no judge a parent for how we feel. This line is not cool. Let me just say kids at a jr high or high school age. Should not wear anything sexy like this. It’s just say hey sex is ok.

      Like

    • I think the key word there is “Women” Not middle school little kids. For goodness sake, Let children be children. They can become “Teasers” when they are old enough to know the consequences.

      Like

    • Sofi… this underwear line is meant for “TWEENS”…… these are middle school CHILDREN. Where what you want, but as a grown woman, you should know better. I hope you’re not a mother… especially of a little girl. God help her…..

      Like

      • Amen Dennis! I hope this highly successful VS wearing Art Director does not have any daughters…. she sounds like she’s got her own issues.

        Like

    • Lady , his message is not toward adult women….he is not misinterpreting anything…he is dead on .sexy underwear should not be geared towards pre teen and teenage girls.

      Like

    • As an adult consumer I agree with you Sofi, liking and wearing VS does not make one a slut, however ….”a line of underwear and bras aimed at middle school aged children.” These are not adult consumers. These are impressionable young girls who shouldn’t be concerned with anyone seeing their underwear, much less what crafty little message is on it. “It’s cute and trendy and it’s natural for women to want to tease a little.” Yes yes it is .. for women, not preadolescent and adolescent girls who should be more worried about math exams than thongs. I don’t think he has his stereotypes off, I think he is judging them based on who they are marketing to and I for one agree.

      Like

    • it isn’t just about their provocative underwear, Their window dressing in malls is only one small step from pornography. We raised our girls properly and they know it isn’t about the choice of a comfortable pair of panties. It;s about flaunting your private parts in public. If you look at their catalog models, they are skinny and look like they haven’t had a good meal in a while, This also gives girls the message that you need to look like a toothpick to be attractive and successful. VS needs to stop looking and the bottom line and consider the number of us who boycott their stores and company for just these reasons.

      Like

    • Re-read the letter….he is referencing VS marketing to school age children. You are the one who is misreading and misinterpreting what he has to say.!! So, I do believe you have thrown up the “don’t be judgmental flag” too quick!

      Like

    • Are you in middle school? The letter is not saying all women that wear VS are sluts, it’s stating that it isn’t tactful for VS to have a line geared toward children with things like “call me” on the crotch, or “sexy thing” on the bottom. It has nothing to do with adults.

      Like

    • Dear Sofi — you sound like an intelligent and reasonable woman. But you do not sound like a young girl. Do you think that you can trust the response you have to Victoria’s Secret and your understanding that you are not defined by your underwear to be equally grasped by a middle school girl? And why should they even be expected to have to grasp that at age 9, 10 or 11? Isn’t that the sort of understanding that we should want for them to come later — even if only a few years later? You assume that the intelligence and self-understanding you have and however you were fortunate enough to acquire that intelligence — maybe your own instincts, maybe your upbringing, maybe a combination, maybe something else entirely — will be the intelligence that every girl grows up to possess. I fully support every woman’s right to wear Victoria’s Secret, to take pole-dancing classes, to have fun with and explore her sexuality and, in doing so, to understand that her boobs and butt do not define her. They are an aspect of who she is, but they are not all she is. But I stress that this is something I think that a woman is capable of doing. I do not think most young girls are capable of being this strong willed, this sure of themselves and I don’t think they should have to be. Is Victoria’s Secret the only thing out there that perhaps shouldn’t be in the hands of a young girl? Of course not. The same could be said about the daily clothes that are being marketed to a young girl (hello, American Apparel) or to the toys that they are being given to play with (hello, Barbie). I would love to believe that we live in a society that supports the emotional and mental growth of all young women in such a way that they can simply see a bra or underwear with the words “call me” as a playful joke and still feel confident enough to say, “oh, hell no” to the man who tries to grope them in a bar … or on a playground. I do not judge the young girl who wants to wear colorful undies anymore than I judge the woman who wants to wear them. But I do judge our society as one that empathizes with the teen-age boy who rapes a girl at a party and loses his football scholarship more than we empathize with the girl who was raped. Is it sad that underwear provokes this type of conversation and this type of reaction? Absolutely. In an ideal society, we should be able to lighten up and let underwear be underwear. But we’re not there yet.

      Like

    • You are wrong it is very easy to influence young girls to do things at that age and they are looking to rebel. You as an adult know how and when to dress the way you want young girls do not. Victoria Secret is a good store my wife shops there but this is wrong

      Like

    • I purchase from VS on a regular basis. I am an adult woman with a very young daughter. Cute and trendy for a middle school aged “child” is not VS. The letter is pointing at the kind of world we are building for our children. If you don’t think that there is anything askew with marketing black lacy panties to little girls, then perhaps your character should be in question. And perhaps that of those who are marketing such a dainty little luxury to consumers who’s purchasing power comes from adults who must drive and give said purchase power to these innocent children. This dad is right in wanting to protect his daughter. And we all should want to protect our kids. Since when was it not okay to protect the dignity and innocence of our children.

      “Victoria’s Secret isn’t sending the wrong message. You’re just misinterpreting it.
      Oh, and you of all people should know better than to judge.” VS IS sending the wrong message, it is our responsibility as parents to speak on our children’s behalf and I will judge the character and morale compass from which this company makes decisions.
      -a fellow VS user, college graduate, mass attendee, in a healthy relationship, but not willing to and tired of sacrificing my children for someone else “bottom” line (pun intended)

      Like

    • Sofi,

      While I respect your opinion that the author is misinterpreting the message Victoria’s Secret would be sending with this new line, I must also politely disagree. The author is not stereotyping women who wear the current product lines, but rather pointing out that is is not appropriate for a middle school aged girl to wear the products that have been proposed.

      I also am a very successful woman with a Master’s degree, mother to a beautiful little boy, as well as a proud Victoria’s Secret customer and have been for more than a decade. I began wearing their undergarments as well as their clothing items while in my later years of high school. I completely agree with you that cute and trendy undergarments and lingerie are not necessarily worn to be shown to others (whether it be a man or a woman), but can often promote a feeling of self confidence in a woman. I also love that their lingerie and undergarments are beautiful, sexy, and appropriate for a woman – not a child.

      Our children grow up so quickly already, is it really necessary to target the tween market for lingerie? Should a 12 year old girl really be wearing a thong? I can almost guarantee that many tween girls already have the “I want to be like her when I grow up” thoughts in their heads when they see the Victoria’s Secret commercials on television, print ads, or the displays in the store windows at the mall. Rather than thrust them into a sexualized realm early with lace thongs and cheeky panties, why not create an all cotton line of briefs and boy-cut shorts with the potential to also create cotton training bras and sports bras. This is the tactic that brands like Hanes and Fruit of the Loom have been working with for decades and have been very successful without exposing young girls to the thought that they need to be sexy because it’s trendy.

      While it’s fine for a woman (young, old, or somewhere in between) to “want to tease a little” as you say, it’s not exactly appropriate for a middle school girl. Children should be children for as long as possible. There are so many ways for children to gain a feeling of self-confidence that lacy/sexy undergarments don’t necessarily need to be one of them. The thoughts of boyfriends/girlfriends and looking cute/attractive/sexy will come all too soon on their own, so maybe we as a society should focus our energy on encouraging age appropriate activities and dress – which includes undergarments – during this impressionable time of their lives. They will have the rest of their lives to be women and (potentially) loyal Victoria’s Secret customers just like ourselves.

      Respectfully,

      RedRaiderMama

      Like

    • I think people tie VS to something it isn’t. VS has items for all ages now that is appropriate for all age groups. Several of my friends and family feel that VS is not appropriate for teenagers and I do disagree. My 13 year old daughter shops at VS and I don’t see a problem with it. She picks out her bras, underware, clothes and sprays. She doesn’t like the lace or sexy items that VS does provide and she shouldn’t for her age and I wouldn’t buy them for her either. I do think VS should take the writing that would be put on these underware and these concerns into consideration but at the same time as Sofi says if you raise your daughter up right with the proper morals their decision will be good.

      You can buy these type of underware with these messages everywhere so why is VS being condemed for it. JCPenny I know for a fact also sells these types of underware because I use to work there. Why are they not being mentioned.

      Some girls thinks these little message on underware and cute and meaningless and it is unless people like this concerned father make more of it…. I don’t think it promotes anything. Parent your daughter to know these are just silly sayings and then they won’t think any more of it. I know when I was in high school girls were wearing sexy underware even thongs so why is this a problem?

      Everyone needs to relax, if you don’t like VS’s idea don’t shop there and don’t let your daughters shop there. Therefore you won’t be supporting their decisions. Don’t make more out of something than what it is…

      This country is really gettting to liberal.

      Like

    • The dad who wrote the letter has not sterotyped women who wear VS as sluts (YOU came up with that!) or that there is anything wrong with adults wearing VS products. There is nothing wrong with a dad being overprotective (one word) of his daughter. Your “success” and choice of underwear has nothing to do with the point he is making. His opinion is that provocative underwear are not good for children. I think that a vast majority of partents would agree. I wear VS underwear myself and I did not feel at all that I was being “judged” because he is OBVIOUSLY not saying anything about adults wearing them. Sexualizing little girls is disgusting and I hope VS listens to us. If I see those products at VS, I will definitely discontinue shopping there.

      Like

    • Here is another article to read that explains the trend of sexualizing girls younger and younger. http://phdsandpigtails.com/2013/03/23/victorias-secret-bright-young-things-age-compression/ It includes a petition against the line. VS can take Ohio Girl’s advice below to encourage young girls instead of objectifying them into things.
      Watch Miss Representation … a movie that exposes the economy and power structure that promote a woman’s value and power lie in her youth, beauty, and sexuality, and not in her capacity as a leader. Bottom line – it’s always about money not the health of our children.

      Like

    • First of all, the marketing of revealing clothing causes men to think of women as sex objects. It feeds their fantasizing about naked women. America has an entire porn industry to prove it as well as thousands of wealthy American men who travel to foreign countries and participate in raping women through the sex slave trade that is rampant world wide. Pornographic images of women in underwear feed this mentality. Victoria’s Secret is not empowering women. They are undermining their worth. And now we want to encourage young women to participate by marketing pornographic images of revealing underwear? Bottom line, the marketing of sexualized images encourages men to mistreat women AND deceives women into thinking that they are “cool” and “pretty” if they have the right underwear.

      Second of all, you accused the reverend of judging. But aren’t you doing the same thing? You just JUDGED everything he said in his article. You accused him of stereotyping. You accused him of overprotecting his daughter (btw, do you have children that you can make that kind of judgement?). You accused him of indicating that you are a slut because you wear VS underwear, when in fact, he said no such thing. You are just as guilty of making judgements as anyone.

      -Andrea, mom of four

      Like

    • Sofi, I agree with everything you said. I would also like to point out a key word: “it’s natural for WOMEN…” (emphasis added). You seem to be a successful, confident adult who is secure in herself both as a professional and a woman; I commend you for this, as I know too many women in my age group (late 20’s) who lack that confidence.

      That being said, the key in the above letter is not the fact that women shouldn’t be confident in themselves and their sexuality (they absolutely should) or that you have the right to wear whatever underwear you damn well please (you absolutely do). It’s that a lingerie line with a self-hyped sexual brand image (see: every Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, TV commercial, storefront, etc.) is marketing clothing with intentional sexual overtones to girls who have barely entered puberty.

      I don’t pretend to understand what it’s like to be an adolescent girl coming to grips with her sexual identity as she grows up. But I do take issue with a multi-billion dollar industry leader intentionally marketing fun, flirty, sexy underwear to girls that have just left childhood. It seems only to serve to bolster the already objectified, hyper-sexed self image that is ceaselessly pressed upon young women, and for what purpose? To pad Victoria’s Secret’s fiscal bottom line.

      I agree with you that bringing up your daughter with good values, love, security, and freedom is crucial. But, for the love of God, don’t buy your 12- to 14-year daughter a lacy thong with “Call me!” printed on it. Teach her (and support that lesson with the clothing you allow her to wear) that she has value and worth that is not contingent on her sexuality.

      Regards,

      Dave

      Like

    • The author did not call you a slut. He only said the company is sending age inappropriate messages to impressionable young girls and he is not alone in his thinking. Unfortunately, too many people agree with you that sending teenagers sending sexually explicit messages is “Trendy” instead of wrong

      Like

  3. I’m sorry..the interview I saw on GMA did not have a “college age agenda” it is for tween age and up..not sure where you all are getting your info. I have no respect for VS anyways for the commercials alone that they air borders on the lines of soft porn.. once they got away with it,it grew by leaps and bounds for other lines to use the same format.. we scream repsect on one hand and then negate our actions by showing off our bodies for $$ or allowing a brand to do so… we say one thing and do another…can’t have it both ways..regardless of what you think..

    Like

  4. I am also a mom, my daughter is very special to me. I agree a 100% in what he said in his letter. I don’t want my daughter to think bad about herself. This line that you are putting out isn’t good for our daughter’s, it is only good for your pockets.

    Like

  5. Agreed. There are going to be lots of things we as parents don’t want our children to get into or what have you, and it is our job to teach them, not to try and change everything else around them. There will always be conflict, there will always be things that we don’t want our kids doing or things we see as inappropriate.. the only thing we TRULY have power over is ourselves and what we teach our kids. Teach her and SHOW HER THROUGH YOUR EXAMPLE that she is of great worth and extremely lovable. Show her through how you treat her mother and her. Show her by how you love and respect yourself. That is the only way that is going to help her. NOT by trying to convince someone else to NOT teach her something. That’s not going to happen. Put more effort into what and who you can control, and less into who and what you can’t.

    I love that you care, though!! She is one lucky little gal!!

    Like

    • you missed the point entirely Lauren… lol Unreal… please tell me you don’t have any little girls. God help them is you do.

      Like

      • I love it when the intellectually lazy say, “You missed the point,” to mask the inability to form a coherent rebuttal. Lauren didn’t “miss” anything; she responded with a thoughtful plea for parental responsibility.

        Please tell us YOU don’t have any children of any gender, since you obviously believe raising them to be upstanding adults is the responsibility of corporate marketing strategies.

        Like

    • Oh indeed, just teach her what she needs to know, show her through example. This commercial society has no influence on a THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL !! VS is targeting girls at precisely the age when they tend to rebel and break away from parental authority. It is a critical time for supporting a young girls self-esteem, balanced with discipline and a watchful eye on outside influences.

      Like

  6. Rob McGehrin
    I totally agree with this fathers view and opinion on the subject. Although I am father of two sons, I know that promoting sexual behavior in young children leeds to sexual activity. Our children are not mentally mature enough to handle all the emotions that go along with this behavior and this can cause damage that last a life time.

    Like

  7. I think you are first a very caring loving father. We need more like you in our world. I so agree with his answer to Victoria Secrets. Bad enough for adults now target our children just to make more money. Please think about what you are doing to this children. Money rules the world this we all know. But then we wonder what is happening to our children. Its people like Victoria Secrets that make terrible money making decisions just to have the money…not caring what message this shows to our children. I would think about what you are doing . It might just back fire on you. Adults with caring minds might just stop buying from you. Ann Spratt Salisbury NC

    Like

  8. Dear Dads,

    I loved the letter! I’m a grown up now but I do vividly remember the time I was a teenager. Good old 80’s.. maybe! – Anyway. Back then we didn’t have the “fashion choices” kids have now but, for whatever reason, most teens gravitated towards what was trendy at the time. They, as ourselves back then, do , and did with whatever way and means available.
    Brands will most likely go ahead a do what will bring them profit regardless of this amazing heartfelt letter. In my humble opinion is time to shift in how we educate our kids and install in them values that will make them repulse the cheap image of femininity portrayed by media (either they are girls or boys) and embrace a new image of equality and choice. At the same time, we, grown ups, have to also stop labelling things and people. Girls that wears short skirts or black undies, as described in the above letter, are many times than not, classified, labelled and treated in predictable ways that lead to violence, hate,bullying, premature sexual life etc. In similar ways boys face same fate when choosing pastels and pinks, regardless of their sexuality or preferences.
    We classify, label and attempt to understand our surroundings in “a size fits all” approach. Gender shouldn’t have colours, shapes, styles, and neither should sexuality. We are all entitled to our own.
    I would be more concerned about the girls that won’t fit the extra tiny sizes of certain brands and they will starve themselves or punish their bodies for not being like the extra retouched super elongated photoshop avatars.

    Corporations always did their business. It’s time parents start doing theirs. Educate your children to find what matters to them, to grow up to be what they want to be, which by the way most of times won’t meet neither parent’s nor society expectations. ..and that is how and why the world progresses.

    Like

  9. WHY DONT YOU ALL MAKE A CHANGE?
    Put all of your comments on a social media platform,write your opinions and send it out!

    Like

  10. I am a 20-year-old university student, with no plans to be married any time soon, and certainly not to have a daughter – or son – any time sooner. But the thoughts you wrote about haunt me just the same. I’ve spent a good deal of my teenage and young adult life trying to build into the lives of young girls, living as an example of Christ (however flawed I may be) to them so that they may understand that my worth and value comes from Him and Him alone. I know all too well how horrifying it is to be a girl growing up in America in the ’90s and 2000s, with a million people and corporations whispering sweet nothings about who I was meant to be. Only by the grace of God and with the love of strong women and men around me – my parents, my church, my good friends, my camp counselors and teachers and youth pastors – did I come to realize that who I am is nothing compared to the majesty of the One who made me that way. But BECAUSE He made me, who I am is important and precious.

    All that to say – I don’t want my beautiful baby cousin to grow up believing the world defines her. I don’t want her to struggle to correlate the divine whispers in her heart with the worldly mutterings in her head. I want her to know, doubtless and bold, that she is a Princess of the Highest King.

    So thank you for writing this. It needs to be shouted about.

    Like

  11. Although this letter is aimed at VS it brings up a valid point to the state of clothing for our girls in general. I went into Walmart and the new line of clothing for Spring summer for all little girls was disgusting. Daisy Duke type shorts and halter tops. Why must we sexualize our children. And this is nothing new. For years clothing for young girls have had words such as Cherry written on the bottom of pants and underwear. And clothing has become more and more sexualized and form fitting. Yes as parents it is our responsibility to dress our children. And you can be sure my daughter will not own any sexy clothing until she is an adult. Not that they have to be unfashionable. But there is a line. A tween does not need to wear sexy underwear. In fact if parents cared about their girls they would wear only cotton underwear which helps to promote good health during years of hormone changes. But I digress. I do not believe that VS only intends to market to College age girls. VS as a brand is fashion. Teen girls want to be fashionable. It is up to parents to set limits and explain why young woman and girls should dress in a different way than all their current role models. In fact I will go as far as to say that allowing children to idolize singers and models and even reality stars who dress sexy and are openly sexualized is part of the whole issue. But again I digress. You cannot blame a company whose whole reason for being is to make a profit. What you can do is make sure your children wear appropriate clothing for their age.

    Like

    • thanks Dawn!! I think you actually get what being a parent is about. Setting limits and making sure your child knows why you feel the way you do about things. The parents that want to blame VS, well, its just not good enough.

      Like

      • I went to my Boyfriend’s niece’s dance recital (she is 4 year old)… talk about sexing it up. Those outfits were so sexy and showed so much skin it was a pedophiles dreamland!

        Like

  12. Victoria’s Secret is not for little girls. It is for WOMEN.
    Why make WOMEN suffer because parents need to watch their children better? I see your point, and can agree to an extent. But don’t blame Victoria’s Secret.

    Like

    • right on sister.. how will young girls get VS drawers if there parents dont buy them?? there is a such thing as telling your children no!! VS is not the parent.. YOU ARE!!

      Like

      • Jamie – so, is VS marketing “Bright Young Thing” for “young girls whose parents don’t care”? If young girls go into VS and buy underwear intended for *adults* because their parents aren’t paying attention, that is one thing. But for young girls to get the idea that they are supposed to be buying thongs and lacy underwear with “call me” and “feeling lucky?” emblazoned on them because VS has spent millions of dollars marketing it to them – well, that’s something different all together.

        Like

      • It is about the culture they are creating. As a middle schooler, I see what the cool kids are wearing and want to wear the same thing even if my parents won’t allow it to me. So, even if I don’t personally have the item there will always be other girls who do and are making a point of showing it off to brag. That image that that is what I am supposed to be wearing will be there and that is the problem. I shouldn’t have to feel like I have to dress slutty for my self-image. I don’t want to have low self-esteem because my mom and dad won’t let me get “call me” or “feeling lucky?” underwear. Why should that be what defines me as cool?

        Like

      • Hello! Really? How would they get it if their parents don’t buy it for them? You need to watch you kids better? You really just said that? Wow! I’m going to guess that you don’t remember being a kid. I for one did not alway do what my parents said. I remember the first time I bought my first pair of thongs. I was in high school. My mom found them and took them from me. I was in so much trouble. Now that I have kids of my own I completely see where she was coming from. Kids will get them on their own. You can’t watch your kids 24/7. I have 3 kids one boy and 2 girls and this goes both ways. I tell my kids all the time that they need to be kids. Have respect for theirs self and for others. Something like this is telling them that sex is ok. At Jr high or high school age. It’s not cool for them to tease its only asking for trouble.

        Like

    • Ella – that’s the point. VS *is* for WOMEN, but the new line, “Bright Young Thing” is being marketed to CHILDREN.

      Like

    • You make no sense. Nobody is arguing that Victoria’s Secret product is for women. We’re arguing that marketing to girls as young as 13/14/15 is completely off colour. Do you want your 13 year old daughter wearing a thong that says ‘call me’? I certainly don’t – I call that SMART parenting.

      Like

    • You missed the point of the letter entirely. He is writing about the serxualizing of clothing for children, not about grown women. What a woman wants to do, wear or advertize is her own business, but creating these things for children is encouraging sexual attitudes and activity in kids too young to handle it. Coming out with a line like this is the same as encouraging child pornography.

      Like

      • Right, because selling underwear no one has to buy in a store where no one has to shop is the same thing as sexually abusing children, filming it, and distributing copies to perverts. No difference at all.

        Like

  13. I totally agree with this father’s opinion. I find it offensive that little girls are dressed in tight, peek-a-boo clothing with suggestive slogans and words written on it. Little boys can wear jeans, tee shirts, etc. without being made into tiny sex objects…why can’t little girls be treated with the same respect?

    Like

    • Kristy, dont by them for you children. Do like the rest of the level minded parents will do and do not by thongs for your daughters.

      Like

      • Jamie – you are still missing the point – Victoria’s Secret has and is spending millions of dollars on suggestive underwear MARKETED TO YOUNG GIRLS. Why can you not see that this is a problem? I suppose you think it is okay to market alcohol and cigarettes to young children, as well.

        Like

  14. But also wanted to say I agree that we should make sure our children don’t feel like they need to change themselves or think they are any less. I just wish adult things and child things would stay separate.

    Like

  15. As a mother of three daughters, I agree with this father. I wish the company will reconsider the line. This isn’t for the sake of my daughters because ,not only will I be instilling their worth as strong women, but they will not be allowed to wear anything like that that young. I am more concerned with girls like my niece who have minimal guidance and are already falling into the thinking that their body is more important than their mind to succeed. Kids in todays society are pushd to grow up too fast, it should be all of our responsibilitis to protect their innocence as long as we can.

    Like

  16. I will NOT be purchasing any daughter of mind skimpy undies from VS. If your married (or choose to ramp the tundra) then I feel cute lingerie is fine, but to sell this crap to young girls, say its ok and also send the message that ‘sex’ &’sexy’ is cute is completely wrong. So tired of everyone in this world drinking the kool aid and making excuses about ‘why its ok’ to buy in to such filth. The problem: Most people won’t speak up and most will just go along with it because they don’t want to ruffle anyone’s feathers (its about reputation not character … hmmm) – that my friends gets you no where. Good luck to those who think this is ok or that its morally correct in some sick sense of the word. You will be learning the hard way.

    Like

  17. Dear Reverend,

    Anytime you want supporters for a campaign against over-sexualizing our young girls, count me in. Victoria’s Secret’s should be ashamed of themselves. Young girls should be dreamig of love and romance, not cheap sex.

    Karla

    Like

  18. If they want to sell underwear to younger girls, why can’t they put more appropriate sayings on them like “I am smart”, “I can do anything”, “Be Your Best Self”, “Dream Big Dreams”, “Make Mom Proud”, or whatever. Positive affirmations to themselves – who else is reading their underwear, anyway????

    Like

    • The problem is that THEY are reading their underwear (hopefully no one else is!). victoria’s message is directed, not simply to someone else in this case, but to them – “you are a sexual creature;” “you should be making yourself available.” They are encouraging kids to think of themselves sexually, at a time when that is not appropriate (is it ever appropriate to see ourselves in this way?). An adult can, perhaps, deal with this, but a child – particularly a young teen, who is very concerned about body image and “fitting in”, gets the wrong message about themself and the place of sex in their life.

      Like

    • I think that’s a great idea Ohio Gal. My 8-yr-old daughter took a marker to her underwear before the first day of school and wrote ‘SMARTY’ on the back inside edge. She told me she just felt braver wearing her ‘smartypants’ to school. She also has a pair of ‘spunkypants’ and ‘sportypants’ for her soccer games.

      Like

    • I had words on my underwear as a child!! Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday! And they were cotton or nylon with full coverage.
      I agree, VS needs to stick to marketing for adult customers only and parent need to actually parent. Learn to use the word NO! My Mom did, I did and my daughter does. They should not even be allowed in those stores with out an adult, let alone be allowed to purchase anything on their own.

      Like

  19. Let me add something. I have no problem with wanting to wear pretty underwear and wanting to feel attractive to our mate. I’m certainly not a prude.
    It’s the ‘EXPLOITATION’ and the IN YOUR FACE sexual marketing part that I and many others have the problem with. YOU can sell sexy items WITHOUT sexual exploitation and cattle on the runway. THAT’S what I am ‘judging’.
    I agree, sexy garments are for the mature adults and it’s fine to do so. But to make it a soft porn escapade (and under the definition of soft porn VS fits the bill). That is when it is over the line of decency.
    The items can be sold like any other item of clothing and they don’t even have to have bodies in them!
    Women know, as do men, pink, red hot red, black, white, lacey, see-through, sheer, silky, without needing it flagrantly flaunted, in a soft porn ad or show.
    And I love how people SCREAM ‘judging’ when someone is merely pointing out the obvious. When somone is calloused by consistant and insistant contact with something it no longer is an irritant. It’s called calloused conditioning.
    But…there are many of us who have not allowed ourselves to be cast under the pied pipers spell.

    Like

    • Good for you. Thank you for speaking up!

      Tori, you’re a gem! I’m a grandmother of seven, five girls and two boys. They are all growing up far too fast for me and I would not care to see them in outfits by Victoria Secret. Young ladies I hope they will remain. It’s so difficult to be a parent now; why throw gasoline on the fire to make the task of parenting all the more difficult and all the more tempting for the children?

      Like

  20. “It takes a village to raise a child”, this proverb holds true. But because of technology the media becomes a very big part of the village. Not only do parents have to worry about television, Internet ads but billboards, magazines and clothening catologs (just to name a few). It is impossible to issolate a child and censor all of these influences. A parent can only teach and practice the morals and ethics they want instilled in their children. The media and companies like Victoria’s Secret need to take a more proactive roll in preserving the innocence of our children and they need to be held to a higher moral and ethical standard. To advertise such a sexually charged line of clothing towards young teens is wrong and shows the low moral and ethical standards of the media and companies today!

    Like

    • If you’re incapable of raising your children without help from Victoria’s Secret (or anyone else who didn’t volunteer to be part of your “village”), “Mom,” you never should have had any.

      Like

      • I can only hope that you’re not a father. Because if you are, you are delusional. You’ve obviously never heard of peer pressure. Or had a daughter try to change clothes once she got to school.

        Like

      • Change into something else you bought for her? Why are you buying her something she shouldn’t be wearing? More importantly, you have a VERY disturbing attitude toward young girls.

        Like

  21. It is not just VS who has these cute provocative underwear. You can even find underwear that you feel your teen should not be wearing at the Dollar General. If you dont believe in your daughter wearing such things then you and your wife should make sure that you do not buy them for her. If she is old enough to buy then herself or for that matter be at the mall or VS store by herself she is probably much more mature than you realize and a pair of thongs are not going to change her future. What age girl are you talking about? It is very simple, dont by your teen daughter a thong.

    Like

  22. Let me ask you Sofi, were you wearing VS bras and panties when you were in junior high? As the parent of a 10 and 12 year old daughter, I would never consider buying them VS underwear which are clearly confusing tweets with adults!

    Like

  23. I totally agree with this letter. I am a mother of 3 children who are now adults. Society has accelerated the growth of young children, making them into teens and adults much to soon. Their decisions should be about play, school, and learning who each of them are. Slogans on underwear gives suggestive ideas to younger and younger children, making them think about sex at a younger and younger age. Let children, tweens, and teens be just that, children. There is enough social pressure in just growing up. I shop VS, but the minute I see this line of clothing in the store, I will stop shopping there for myself and my two daughters, and my son’s girlfriend.

    Like

  24. I’m am with you on this. I have two girl myself and I will not let them wear anything like this. For them to make a line like this only tells them. Sex is ok and their age. Myself I want my kids to wait till their married. With the way girls are now day wow. 10 year olds are having sex. Why in the world do teens need sexy panties? Who is going to see them? Please rethink your new line. If they do come out with this line. I myself will never again get anything from them.

    Like

  25. I am a 21 year old young woman. I have been wearing victoria secret underware since i was about 16 years old. I completely understand this fathers point of view. When I was 16 and decided that I wanted to wear victoria secret underware it was not because it said anything on the garmets but it was because their pink collection. I loved the bright colors and fun designs and I still do. As a parent my mother took me shopping and let me pick out what underwear I wanted. I was not allowed to pick out thongs or anything to risque. That is a parents job. If you do not want your teen wearing victoria secrets underwear that has things printed on them then tell them no. It is pretty simple. At the age of 18 I was driving to the mall myself and choose what udnerwear I would wear as well. I would choose underwear that again did not have any words printed on them but the ones I thought to be cute. I was not interested in the underwear with the writing on it because my parents had raised my correctly and I knew that I was not to be judged by the words on my undwear. So simply raise your child to the best of your ability and be able to tell them NO. When you cannot make thier decisions for them anymore then just hope what you said and did made an impact.

    Like

  26. I couldn’t agree more, I don’t believe for one minute that VS will offer age-appropriate undergarments. As a mother that currently purcahses VS for myself I will remove myself from their mailing list. I want to be sure that my daughters are not exposed to a product that I am SURE will be taken into a very “adult” direction at a very sensitive age. Thank you for calling this out.

    Like

  27. For those of you commenting about how VS is aimed at women, and women can make their own choices, and parents need to blah blah blah… you’re missing the point. VS has always been aimed at women, and that’s fine, but the company is now coming up with a line SPECIFICALLY aimed at tweens, and that is NOT ok.
    http://voices.yahoo.com/victorias-secret-has-line-sexy-underwear-12049670.html

    The sexualization of our children should be a concern for every parent, but really, even if you aren’t a parent, it should concern you, because it has an impact on society.

    Like

  28. The father’s comments were not for grown women who have left home and can make their own decisions! It was for young girls who already have enough out there to make wise decisions on avoiding in order to not place themselves in vulnerable situations. He also was not judging others; just making a plea for VS to not make promiscuity more “available” to young girls.

    Like

  29. I teach high school and we have a “gender bender” day (yes! it is true–save for another discussion) and the girls love dressing as guys because they feel comfortable all day. Year after year girls say how much they like wearing “whatever”. The boys comment about how uncomfortable the clothes are and how they restrict their movement. Hmmmm…..

    As the mother of 2 grown daughters, it saddens me that the objectification is becoming more overt. When my daughter was 10 I looked at her thinking, “This is the last year she will love and accept her body”. Sad…

    Like

  30. This dad’s letter is great. Personally, I think any parent who buys trashy underwear like what was described in the letter for a middle school aged girl is asking for trouble. But sadly, there are parents who will do just that to make sure their kid is perceived as cool. Don’t tell us concerned parents to educate our children; we are doing the best that we can, but it’s hard when this stuff is out there. If more parents had common sense and refused to buy this garbage, companies wouldn’t make it and market it to our KIDS. The same parents who buy this trash will be the ones complaining when their “cool” daughter comes home pregnant at 14. But what do they expect? They’re probably also watching “Teen Mom” on that channel that used to play music videos.

    Like

  31. There is absolutely no need for anyone under the age of consent to need/want to wear underwear that is promiscuous, or to “tease”, as sofi said above. Love that all boundaries can be broken/manipulated to make a quick buck. Get me off this planet.

    Like

  32. I am a grandmother of 4 beautiful grandaughters. They have or will have more than enough sexuality promotions as it is. I for one will discontinue to shop @ V.S. I disagree with you plan.

    Like

  33. Ok, here is what is really chapping my butt….so many of you here say I buy from VS for myself, but I don’t want it marketed to young girls, or affecting my little boys. My question is WHY THE HECK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING BUSINESS WITH THIS SOULLESS COMPANY AT ALL?. Just wondering

    Like

  34. Wether we chose to be parents or it was something we planned, for certainty we are responsible for our children and the choices they make. Teaching a child right and wrong is something that begins when they start understanding what “no” means. It puzzles me that anyone out there would say that this world- from marketing, television programs, internet, music, celebrities, shootings, wars, video games, ect. doesn’t or wouldn’t have an effect on our children we are raising. Parents can have a huge impact on the up bringing of generations to come, however, for anyone to sit back and say it’s all how you raise your child is the outcome you will get is appallling. I have a daughter who is 12 and is in Middle School. When I was 12 I wasn’t attending middle school and exposed to the things these kids are now. The PINK VS line isn’t to be blamed if it draws children to it. Daughters usually are drawn to these type things when shopping with their mothers, just like manicures,hair and make-up. I of course would tell my daughter she isn’t old enough to have these things just yet. Now, if VS would start making these garments in the middle school ages I do think it is wrong. They could easily market another name and keep it tasteful if they believe they should target these ages. I couldn’t imagine them needing to target these ages being they already are so successful. It is okay to have stores strictly for adults. Being in my thirty’s it’s hard enough walking down the mall and seeing tweens wearing things adults wear. Before you get some type of judgement I’m talking about stores like aeropostale that I now don’t shop in because it does target the younger tweens/teens. Sometimes it hard to think things aren’t going impact children- take your blinders off and open your eyes to the fact that this world has made our children care about what they look like at a young age. I love the fact a father cares so much to put word out there. I pray for all parents in this world, it just isn’t easy.

    Like

  35. WOW
    I know its a business like any other and they want to make money, but there are plenty of adult women who buy their products. Maybe they should expand and add a mens line not little girls.
    And we wonder why we have high school girls who are pregnant. Im in my late 20’s , I don’t have kids and I like Victoria Secret but this is out rages. A middle school girl should not look like she is 17/18 yrs old. All I’m saying is there are a lit of perverts and rapists out there and parents cant keep their kids on a leash.

    Like

  36. Amen – this was well said, and it is so good to see a daddy speaking out on behalf of his little girl!

    Many blessings and thanks for sharing,
    Cheryl

    Like

  37. The line is under their TEEN/COLLEGE STUDENT brand PINK. It’s not for little 12 year old middle schoolers, which I assume is the reasoning behind parents everywhere freaking out. The brand has been around for years, this is nothing new. I myself started wearing thongs at age 14. From where? PINK. Why? Because I wanted to. Panty lines gone, and they’re comfortable. And guess what? I just got a $52,000 scholarship to the University of Hawaii, and was accepted to 6 other schools. I’m planning to go to Yale for med school to become a psychiatrist. I’m 17, I’m a virgin, and I’m deeply religious. This is definitely overexaggerated, my friends. If you raise your little girls right, like I was, they’re not going to buy the ones with the provocative phrasing on them, and they’re not going to get around merely by underwear choice.

    Like

    • Your crazy rant is appalling. You wore a thong at 14 and now you are a success story. Please grow the heck up. Your still a child yourself commenting on adult issues. Get back to me when you have a child, and God help you if some sick patafile gets his hands on that baby..

      Like

  38. .MIDDLE SCHOOL!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME !!!WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!! THEY ARE CHILDREN!!! LET THEM BE CHILDREN!! CHILDREN DO NOT NEED BLACK LACE UNDERWEAR!!!.

    Like

  39. I am impressed with a Dad who is wise and loving as the writer seems to be. I think daughters need men in their lives to show respectful behavior and kind / loving words to their children ( both boys and girls ) We learn at a very early age what our family and our culture expects of us. Hopefully more parents will speak up and join the parents and grandparents out their who would like to make a clear statement to the Industry and the Media to STOP advertising young people and even children as sex objects . We all need to get active NOW to give the future generations a chance to grow naturally , not pressured by Media / Advertising. I am the mother of a daughter , who is now a parent , and the grandmother of a college age grandaughter. Much of the VS ads were already getting a little much but this particular campaign crosses the line. BOYCOT is always a good way to send the $$ people a message.

    Like

  40. As a man who endeavors to respect women as people and see kids grow up to be well-adjusted, I am horrified by this Victoria’s Secret campaign. They should be boycotted until they give it up. This is harmful stuff, and we should look to the lessons of the past (Barbie, video games, Lego’s ‘just for girls’ line, easy bake oven, Bratz’) before we suggest that this kind of thing cannot influence a girl with a good upbringing and good parents. (And what about ones that have neither???)

    As an atheist it really warms my heart to read a well-put-together moral argument by a ‘reverend’ that contains no references to God, church, or faith whatsoever. Such words would’ve been a distraction and a turn-off to me; as it’s written now, I think the most devout of religious people can draw the same conclusions I can from this letter, bringing us together in this cause. Well done, sir.

    Like

  41. I love this letter, and I absolutely 100% agree with him. I myself have a 4 year old an although it will be a while until she starts middle school I still worry about this all the time, she loves her mommy and loves cuddling and snuggling! But I know one day she is going to give me attitude and rebel against me and I do not agree with this line of undergarments. As a designer who most likely has children you should think that making thongs for middle school children with lace and the words call me on them is absolutely crazy. It’s bad enough that in these years our children are losing their virginities early and experimenting with their bodies way too soon why should we give them an incentive like call me thongs to show off to the opposite sex. I think this father is a great dad and Victoria Secrets should really listen to him.

    Like

  42. I called Victoria Secret (VS) today in NY, NY. I spoke with a person in marketing. This letter is way off course. The collection already hit the market and is gone. It was a target for The College spring break group. I almost stop buying their product when I read this letter. I understand every one has an opinion but I wish people would do a little more research into the subject before just making wild accusations. NO they are not after your middle school child. Nor is it their intentions.. I was told if you would like a comment for VS, please do so on their website, they do respond and read email and are looking for feed back and comments. If you want to be the change in life of what you want to see, then do it the right way. Don’t fly off the handle and create blogs etc. of non-factual information. Be the change you want to see. ( I think we know who said that)

    Like

  43. Simple solution, If you do not like the line of stuff VS has for younger girls.. Don’t shop there! I am a mother of 2 daughters and when VS came out with the pink line I let my daughters buy things with my appoval..Do not blame the store, Watch your children and teach them right from wrong. VS has better quality line of underwear and last longer then any other brand.. Teach your daughters respect for themselves and there won’t be any problem.

    Like

  44. Amen! Let’s not promote anything that encourages our daughters (or sons for that matter) to feel thrown into the adult world any sooner than they are truly prepared for! This is not appropriate for anyone under 21 in my opinion.

    Like

Comments are closed.