A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father

/ Rev. Evan Dolive

An open letter to Victoria’s Secret regarding their choice to make an underwear line aimed at young teenagers. (Read about it here)

Dear Victoria’s Secret,

I am a father of a three year old girl. She loves princesses, Dora the Explorer, Doc McStuffins and drawing pictures for people. Her favorite foods are peanut butter and jelly, cheese and pistachios.

Even though she is only three, as a parent I have had those thoughts of my daughter growing up and not being the little girl she is now. It is true what they say about kids, they grow up fast. No matter how hard I try I know that she will not be the little ball of energy she is now; one day she will be a rebellious teenager that will more than likely think her dad is a total goof ball and would want to distance herself from my embarrassing presence.

I know that this is far down the line and I try to spend as much time as I can with her making memories of this special time.

But as I read an article today posted on The Black Sphere, it really got me thinking that maybe the culture that we currently find ourselves in is not helping the cause.

Recently I read an article that Victoria’s Secret is launching a line of underwear and bras aimed at middle school aged children. The line will be called “Bright Young Things” and will feature ” lace black cheeksters with the word “Wild” emblazoned on them, green and white polka-dot hipsters screen printed with “Feeling Lucky?” and a lace trim thong with the words, “Call me” on the front.”

As a dad, this makes me sick.

I believe that this sends the wrong message to not only my daughter but to all young girls.
I don’t want my daughter to ever think that her self-worth and acceptance by others is based on the choice of her undergarments. I don’t want my daughter to ever think that to be popular or even attractive she has to have emblazon words on her bottom.

I want my daughter (and every girl) to be faced with tough decisions in her formative years of adolescence. Decisions like should I be a doctor or a lawyer? Should I take calculus as a junior or a senior? Do I want to go to Texas A&M or University of Texas or some Ivy League School? Should I raise awareness for slave trafficking or lack of water in developing nations? There are many, many more questions that all young women should be asking themselves… not will a boy (or girl) like me if I wear a “call me” thong?

I want my daughter to know that she is perfect the way she is; I want my daughter to know that no matter what underwear she is wearing it does not define her.

I believe that this new line “Bright Young Things” thwarts the efforts of empowering young women in this country. “Bright Young Things” gives off the message that women are sex objects. This new line promotes it at a dangerously young age.

I implore you to reconsider your decision to start this line.

By doing so you will put young girl’s self-esteem, self-worth and pride above profits.

Sincerely,

Rev. Evan Dolive
Houston, TX

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2,835 thoughts on “A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father”

  1. I LOVE Victoria Secret products but then I am in my early thirties. Yes I don’t have any daughters but I have 2 young sons (6 & 2) & I don’t want them exposed to this (or girls wearing those products) down the road at such a young age (mid teens) . I think VS promoting this new line specifically, targetting that age group crossed the line of appropriateness, moral ethics, and pure disgusting and mainly for profit without thinking the many possible dire consequence that our young people will face when these products make it big:( I totally agree with the Rev. & father who wrote this. I hope VS will rethink of who to target or what type of product & it’s age appropriateness next time they approve something.

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    • If you agree with this blog post and are disturbed by the VS choice to market underwear to middle school aged girls, go to the VS website and copy your comments in an email to them too. They need to hear from thousands of disgruntled customers.

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  2. My mother used to take me to VS when I was younger (developed at 10 and hated it), specifically for bra-shopping. This was also at a time when VS wasn’t oversexualizing their products and adding words to their underwear. It was geared towards women who can make responsible choices, in my opinion. Lately, they’ve only been about sex. I mean, come on, they totally gear their marketing towards men to purchase something from VS for their ladies. They’ve turned into a Fredricks in that manner. BTW, are we so desperate we need to put words on our underwear now?? VS lacks the self-respect so many women are already lacking. That’s just sad. I feel like they’ve gone and allowed their mad men to take over. PR disaster, indeed.

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  3. I agree with this letter. I too have a daughter and don’t want her to think that this is what you do. This is not what we should be telling our young girls. Please do not come out with this line of clothing.

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  4. I am the mother of 5 very beautiful women who shop at Victoria Secrets as ADULT women and they them selves are mothers to daughters. Promoting the female body as a free for all before they are even old enough to make PROPER decisions is VULGAR and almost promotes a commercial for child molesters welcome – PLEASE RETHINK THIS LINE OF UNDER CLOTHING.

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  5. I’m a dad of a 9 yr old girl.

    Clothing Line Name: Bright Young Things
    – are our daughters “Things” ????
    My daughter is not a “Thing” – she is a part of the group of Future Leaders of our world as we know and dont know yet. Your daughters are also.

    Logos and Words on the Thongs/Panties/Underpants
    – Call Me
    – Dare You
    – Wild
    – Too Cool
    Are you kidding me?

    And, we must believe that many meetings were held internally within VS about the product line, the targeted demographic, and what’s written on the clothing, and the marketing campaign behind it. All part of many discussions held weekly/daily.

    Who approves this?
    Did a parent approve this?
    Is the bottom line that important to work to destroy self esteem and what’s truly important to our kids today?

    This is another sad point to our lives and the pursuit of $$$ by a corporation.

    And we have to deal with the aftermath brought on by companies like VS and others.
    – Sadly, i’m just waiting for the quote from them “If we dont do it someone else will.”

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    • I agree- best response yet. All those that think this ad campaign is perfectly OK please read this and then re-think your opinion. By the way, wonder how you’d feel if this type of crap was made for young boys… I teach my daughter that she is a person to be respected- its very hard for her to believe this sometimes when ALL she ever constantly sees in the media these days is that as a girl, she has to be pretty, skinny, popular, liked by boys and to do that, she has to make herself “sexy” and wear “sexy” clothes…..its bombarded at her and all girls on TV, print, video’s, music lyrics etc etc etc……its an uphill battle. Its hard enough to stand up to all this on her own- a chorus of helping voices in the form of parents and others who have the courage to stand up and say “enough is enough” surely can’t do anything but help strengthen her resolve……

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    • Jesus did not call us “things” he calls us His own. Jesus did not say “call me”, he said “come follow me”. Jesus did not say “dare you”, he said to live IN the world not BE of the world. Jesus did not say “wild”, he says righteous or holy.

      These are the ideas that we should be teaching our daughters. Not exposing them to underwear and demoralizing values on their undergarments. It is my prayer that young women will see themselves through God’s eyes not the eyes of these executives who sat in a board room and spent countless hours, money, and resources coming up with these ideas to add to the degradation of our societal values.

      We don’t and will not shop at VS!

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  6. Life is so much simpler when your young, isn’t it? The ability of a candy to bring or a new toy to bring hours upon hours of happiness is unparalleled with our reactions later in life as many of us chase the bigger, better deal. And as a father, you would like to hang on to your daughter’s innocence for as long as possible. Can’t blame you.

    But let’s stay on topic here. The issue is that a company has commenced marketing a legal and popular product line to a slightly different demographic than previously. I agree with the views in general. Yes, there are more important things in life than what underwear one is wearing. Yes, young women have a lot more to offer than their bodies and thus should be empowered. Yes, many people suffer from self esteem issues.

    But to blame Victoria Secret for any of these is simply looking for an easy way out of something much deeper rooted. Personally, I think that what one wears (within some reason) is their choice. Certainly if said garments are generally not displayed outwardly.

    You talk about empowering women. Well how about empowering them to make the right choices? How about giving all women, including teenagers, the credit that they deserve? The implication that just because young women spare a consideration to what to wear they are incapable of deeper thoughts regarding their future or human rights is a sweeping generalisation. Do we all not from time to time use our grey matter to decide between bacon or museli or ponder whether anyone can stop the Miami Heat? So why is it that women who choose underwear with one slogan or another are necessarily thoughtless?

    Yes, let’s empower women by giving them the CHOICES and hope they will make the choices that are right for THEM. They are young and many of them still at the mercy of their peers’ approval about arbitrary physical/ cultural criteria. Is this so different to penis enlargement advertisements being sent by spam websites to the emails of almost every 13 year old boy these days? As far as I’m aware, I’ve never known anyone to have been so stupid as to use these products, despite advertisements and a lot of male ego talk. So give your daughters the credit that they deserve. Sure, you still have a need to protect them from exploiters and predators but there is a very fine line between wearing certain concealed garments and engaging in activities that would place them in harm’s way.

    I agree that it is not uncommon for women to be objectified. However anyone who judges women by what they are wearing (and what they are wearing under their pants) is doing precisely that! The inference about a woman’s behaviour from what she is wearing means that her personality is judged by her appearance. Isn’t that treating her as a sexual object? I think it’s very important in this day and age to send a clear message that women dressing ‘provocatively’ is not a sign about her at all. Maybe if more people understood that, there will be less cases of rape because “she wanted it.” Maybe then also rape victims will be able to look in the mirror sooner realizing that this is absolutely not their fault.
    I imagine you have a challenging task ahead of you to preserve your daughter’s self esteem as she goes through her teenage years, but crucifying Victoria Secret, a legitimate company appreciated by many, will not solve the problems. Most teenagers do go through difficult times marked by anchoring of self worth to arbitrary approval by peers. I wish there could be a magic bullet to alleviate that, but there isn’t. How is this different to the late night infomercials about the quick fix perfect abs or the magi-fast-slim shake or whatever it is?

    It’s an imperfect world but just because someone can’t chew steak doesn’t mean the restaurant shouldn’t serve it. The best you can do is to make sure you order chicken.

    P.S
    Stumbled upon this by accident through Facebook. I’m an atheist 🙂

    V

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    • V, I believe you probably mean ‘Informed’ decision/choices. Children have not developed sufficiently to make informed decisions or choices. That is for adults…

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    • V, this isn’t a religious issue or a choice issue. These are children we’re talking about and a company who is targeting them in order to make money, by appealing to them through peer pressure, through an excitement level, by trying to appeal to their desire to seem older than they are. They’re children – they don’t have the maturity to understand how demeaning and sexualizing these articles of “clothing” are.
      Should there be no limit to what other adults can offer to our children?

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    • The idea that how we look has nothing to do with who we are is naive at best. You dress the way you do because it reflects your personality. So do I, so does everyone else. We put on certain clothes by choice, for the most part. Maybe it’s purely for comfort, maybe it’s to make a statement, maybe it’s our favorite color, maybe it fits us better than other things we own, etc. but in the end it says, “I like red,” or “I’d rather be comfortable than trendy,” or “Hey, look at me!” We made a choice to wear that item of clothing based on our criteria and what we’re trying to acheive so, again, the idea that we should ignore the way a person dresses is erroneous. If what we wear has no bearing on anything then why do we “dress up” for some events and not others? Why do we get spiffied up when going to a job interview as opposed to when we pile up on the couch to watch our favorite movie? Obviously, if you’ve ever had to hire people, you recognize that some people DON’T think about dressing differently for the occassion and, guess what, that says something to an employer.
      Having established that how a person looks does relfect to some degree something about them the question then becomes WHY does this person dress this way? What is it saying about them? What are THEY trying to tell the world. No degree of provocative dress justifies sexual abuse of any kind but it also doesn’t change the fact that a provocatively dressed person, male or female, is trying to express something in their manner of dress.
      Finally, this brings us to the point of the letter above and the actions of VS. Victoria Secret sells clothes but it’s marketing technique is sex, as evidenced by the massive pornographic images they post on the outside of their store windows. Try walking through the mall with your teenage son or daughter and having to explain that!!! And in the case of these clothes particularly targeted to younger girls the message is clear: Wear these clothes and you’ll be thought of as cool by your friends and sexy by the boys (several of whom will likely throw themselves at you once they realize just how fantastic you are by wearing our sexy clothes)!! You might be tempted to say that it doesn’t matter because these items of clothing can’t be seen but isn’t that the eventual point? That they WILL be seen? Of course it is. Wake up folks.

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    • Sexualizing little girls is not about “making choices”. Its disgusting, it goes beyond the bounds of good taste and is totally unbecoming to a so-called legitimate company.

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    • Here’s the deal: At The Age That They Are Gearing They Would Be Too Young To purchase. Therefore, Mom Or Dad Would Have To. I’m Not Sure I Would Want My Daughters To Think It Was Okay To Acknowledge The Wording That Will Be Ingrained As “Okay”. Yes, I WouldHopeMy Girls Had Better Common Sense But Exploit That Kind Of Behavior Before It Is Time Is Another. (SorryFor Every Letter Being Capitalized, My Phone Has A Mind Of It’s Own)

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    • I am sorry, where did religion come into that letter? Who cares what religion this father is?
      The point is, preteens and early teens are not mature enough to make appropriate decisions, and let’s face it, alot of parents out there don’t know what is on their daughter’s underwear. They aren’t with them when they go to the mall, and they don’t look at their purchases when they bring them home.

      If VS wants to promote sexy that is fine, but it should NOT target a teen who changes in the locker room with other impressionable girls who want to look “cool” to their friends.

      Granted it is “just underwear” but peer pressure WILL come into play, and if the parents are not working with their daughters to encourage them to make good choices, this could become very bad.

      Girls talk, and soon the boys would know . This may give them encouragement to act on ideas they may not have acted on before.

      I have a beautiful 8 year old, and VS is one store we avoid, along with any other that advertize their clothing with half -naked men and women. Who needs to see a boy’s chest when you are advertizing jeans??

      I am trying to keep my daughter from being encouraged to consider sex before she is ready for it. Wearing “Feeling Lucky?” or “Wild” on her but is not just doesn’t seem to send the right message. Why write this message unless it is intended to be seen by someone.

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    • touche…..a mother of 3 daughters myself (all grown and have children of their own) we struggled with spandex when they were young. so revealing, my husband band the product from our home. i homeschooled at the time and no television (except for movie watching)…so the exposure to such products for my kids was limited. however, because other girls were wearing the garments, my kids wanted them too. because my husband made such a BIG deal out of not wanting OUR kids to be so immodest…..they wanted the garments even more. not because they wanted to be immodest, but because they wanted to be ‘cool’ and acceptable with their other homeschooled peers. which caused soooo many arguements. education and communication taught and spoken to ‘our’ girls is essential. vs is not the target here. the line would fail if no parent bought the product for their young daughter. do jr. high kids these days have jobs that they can go and buy this stuff? parents still at this point provide clothing.
      as long as there are beauty pagents for toddlers who have no choice in being a part of that or not, there will be parents who buy sexy underware for their adolesent daughters.
      to the dad who wrote the letter……as an intellegent sounding man who obviously loves his daughter, i don’t think you have anything to worry about……sounds as if you are doing it right. the letter you wrote shows your concern for your own misgivings to instill in her integrity, morals, values and ethics. relax dad, you do have time. though it does goes quickly, there are still 24 hrs. in each day…..

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    • V, targeting young girls in their teens for a new lingerie line is what this is aout. While I acknowledge that vs is a legit company, this may push them over the line between what is legit and what isn’t. To say that there is a legitimate need for this product is absolutely wrong. Unless you believe that young girls have a need to be more attractive to men? If children aren’t taught to respect themselves and each other they will abuse themselves, especially if it feels good. Seek your conscience, V. It will tell you this is right. Ask yourself if little girls should wear lingerie. Also, I have to say no one is crucifying vs, on the contrary the letter I read was far from that. Just because a person doesn’t agree with your view doesn’t mean they are attacking you, so please be kind in your reply. I believe Jesus Christ is Lord of all, He is Lord of my life.

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  7. I commend this father for his letter and shame on those people who want to attack his efforts to sheild his daughter. It says a lot about their character and about what they would allow their own children to do. As a mother of 2 beautiful, grown daughters, I can relate. I was one of those moms who didn’t let them watch a lot of things on TV and very little time playing video games (which were, by the way, nonviolent), and they did NOT get picked on by anyone. They were raised to love others as they loved themselves and they were very popular in school because of it. It seems your social circle grows when you don’t follow the crowd and get involved in exclusive “cliques”. Hopefully, if we Christians band together in solidarity and PRAY for this country and for the lack of God’s presence in it, we can change the world, even if it’s only one soul at a time.

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  8. I agree, Sir. I did not realize they were getting down to middle school, now. As with many things these days, somewhere that I looked forward to shopping and as a newly wed, is now becoming a greater issue. I am frustrated because I adore pretty lacey undergarments and their perfume. Four years ago I wrote V. S. a similar letter asking if they could take the typical “sexy woman silloette” picture of their “sexy little thing” perfume, because I love the perfume but felt uncomfortable with the thought of that image being looked at every day by my daughter, as that is a gross misreputation of women in my opionion, as you said somethings similiar. I just decided to get a different perfume. I love all of them after all. I love “Pink” sweats because they last forever. I’ve spent thousands of dollars on my credit card there over the last 20 years. I just bought the newest black “Pink” sweats. But, I think I need to let go of one more thing that used to be pleasurable, for the sake of the molding of my daughter and young girls who all to soon will be women. Victoria Secret in no way ever did respond to my letter. This concerns me. I would feel the same way if I felt young men were being exploited, too. I am saddened by this. And I would like to just ask the comment to the girl/woman above: Do you not, after considering every sexual situation in the world from virginity to sex trafficing, not a topic or battle to be discussed? We are not just talking about a store, but a mindset.

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  9. Haha people are idiots. This man can write what ever he wants to whom ever he wants to. If you disagree with him then write your own damn letter. Whether I agree with him or not is irrelevant because I still applaud a father who is actively involved in his child’s life and takes a stand to protect her in his eyes.

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  10. Thank you, sir. Sometimes I feel I am the only mother in the world to refuse “booty” shorts and camisoles for my girls. I tell them they need to respect themselves enough to cover up their underwear and I don’t want underwear like that either. You are absolutely right.

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  11. I am a Mother of 3 Sons, 2 in their teens and 1 in his 20s. I feel for the young girls today who feel pressured into feeling that these things are important and that if you don’t look like the models of today or wear the clothing that is tight, short, showy and other that their self worth is minimal. I try to instill in my sons that it is the inner beauty of a person that is the most important and not what is outside that matters. Please Young girls today. You are ALL beautiful. God doesn’t make anything less than. INTERNAL beauty is what matters. Thank you to the Fathers who stand up for what is right, and Fathers of Sons Please teach them to value the person for who they are and not anything more.

    Mariann

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  12. Bright Young Things is part of the PINK line. It is NOT a separate line aimed at middle school children–btw how many of you know the ages of middle schoolers these days? Is a 16 year old in middle school? Unless they’ve flunked a few years, I don’t think so.
    The “lie” here isn’t that the line exists, it’s the age group that it is being marketed at!
    Stop all the controversial “conservative” vs “liberal” banter and at least get the facts straight, ok?
    I was buying PINK’s underwear line when I was 16, and I didn’t turn “hoochie” and start showing it to every boy I met. They made me feel good about myself while I had serious body issues.
    Your children are going to rebel against you the harder you place down the iron fist. The old saying about wild Catholic school girls didn’t come from nowhere!
    Teach your kids good values and allow them to have an open relationship with you where they can tell you everything and not fear you. That’s when lies and deception start, and they bring along destructive behavior.

    That’s just my two cents. It appears to me that some of you just like the sound of your own voice and don’t really give a hoot what anyone else has to say–even if it is logical.

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  13. Very eloquently stated. I stand in agreement with you. Hopefully Victoria’s Secret will reconsider this line of undergarments marketed to young pre-teen/teen girls and discontinue production of this line immediately.

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  14. I believe whole heartedly with what this Father said,i have a eight year old and already in 2nd grade was asking last month about a”Valentine”and what that was. Girls today have inappropriate messages coming from every where as we all are where of t.v., movies (even Childrens”), music, commercials, they should have their young girlhood unperverted by this and the like.Please reconsider this and be in the solution not the problem.
    Concerned parents of a young girl growing up inAmerica,

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  15. Love this! I reblogged about it on my own blog (shatteredslipper.com) that aims to shattered the stereotypes of girl culture in the media and everyday life! this is fantastic!!!

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  17. as a father i whole heartedly agree with the rev. VS is for adults, preferably married couples who want to buy their spouses something intimate not for preteens who want to go around looking like, well to put it plain “hookers”, i will be cast out from heavens gates and spend eternity in hell before i would ever allow my daughter to ever consider wearing something like what they are selling

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  19. The panties with the words are horrid for women of any age. I also am very upset by the “fashion show” they put yearly on TV. I don’t like the targeting of young girls with unacceptable underwear. I have three daughters. But, as for the rest of it, I wouldn’t overreact. It is a lingere company, so they need to advertize, you know lingere. I also see very inappropriate underwear not just at VS, but other department stores, Target, WalMart and what have you. It’s not just VS and if we are going to boycott every company with underwear you deem inappropriate it will be hard to find one. Personally, even though I am against the above mentioned. It is the only place I’ve found bras that are comfortable and fit right.

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  20. Pingback: Reblog: An Open Letter to Victoria’s Secret from a Father | A Common Sea

  21. I completely agree!!! Perhaps they could stop idolizing starving women as well considering the all-to-high eating disorder rates of our children. Make a line for mom who have real bodies.

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  22. I agree with this letter and am sickened by the world today. How about making cute undies not thongs more like boy shorts that have flowers or say smile on them. These are little kids. When I was in middle school having cute underwear was important but a thong? Seriously!?

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  23. I applaud your letter and ditto it, in its’ entirety. Our daughters should not even have these things available. As a parent, I will not buy them, as a mother and female I will never allow them in my house. Victoria Secret, this is NOT okay.

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  24. I have raised three daughters and now raising my granddaughter who is 4. I can say that this is absolutey disgusting. The problem with the world today is that young children are forced to grow up too quickly and think that sex is something they should do. It’s so very sad when grandparents are having to raise grandchildren because there children are having children. I am a victoria secret shopper but will choose to to discontinue this if this line comes out. Grow up people and stop the disgust that is happening in this world. It starts with one. Make a difference Victoria Secret not help the tragedy.

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  25. Thank you Rev. Evan.
    PLEASE VS, do not ever allow this teen line. As a mother and worker with teen students, this is a horribly negative idea and influence.

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  26. I am the mother of two boys one 18 and one 8. This bothers me on so many levels. There are enough pressures to fit in with peers without making underwear on of them. I am 34 so do the math and you’ll see why this subject bothers me. I am appalled that we have gotten to a place where we sexualize children for commercial business. I understand the pressure for both boys and girls to wear the right clothes, do the things that their friends are doing, and even to have sex so that you aren’t left out. Good job VS for not only adding one more thing to put pressure on our children (both boys and girls) but also giving pedophiles something new to look at. Awesome job. You should be proud….

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  27. I feel like a lot of people are missing the message within the letter. He is stating that he doesn’t feel Victoria’s Secret should put such sexual sayings on a underwear line targeting middle schoolers. I do agree that those sayings are inappropriate for girls that age because that is the time they do truly learn right from wrong in respect to how they treat their bodies. In middle school, boys suddenly don’t have cooties anymore and start becoming attractive, so these sayings are only asking for trouble. However, because the brand can be empowering for women making them feel sexy and what not why not portray sayings such at “Peace”, “Beauty”, and “Love” sayings that don’t scream ‘get in my pants’. I like the general idea of having lines within the Victoria’s Secret brand for all age groups but age and innocence has to be kept in mind. We don’t need anymore glamour for the “16 & Pregnant” MTV show than that already exists.

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  28. Mike!

    What’s up man, you sound so incredibly intelligent…………WOMP, psyche. Let’s get a few things straight here for our cyber audience you’re trying so diligently to impress (however failing so miserably):

    1) You obviously do not have a daughter
    2) IF you do, you obviously don’t know much (if anything) about wholesome, healthy, fruitful parenting. Letting kids do as they please gets them shamefully f&$%ed. While I myself am a burn-my-hand-on-the-stove type learner, this does not mean I will jump into a fire to learn a lesson. Point in case, why would you allow your own flesh and blood to make decisions that they are not capable of fully comprehending the affect of?
    3) Your GTA/Simpsons comment was not only invalid and misinformed but also incorrect. I guarantee if you gave yourself to the research regarding this topic, you would find that children – actually, just to humor you… HUMANS in general – would be FAR more productive, happy, coexisting, and intelligent. Besides the comment being incorrect, it was completely irrelevant. COMPLETELY. There’s a difference between the effect of media entertainment on a kid and the effect of commercialized psychological personal sexual degradation, you moron.
    Maybe you like little girls, is that what’s going on here? 75% of the target audience for these females won’t have even hit the first days of puberty before they start becoming enchanted by the SEX icon America sells so nauseatingly well. Relaying messages of imminent sexual intercourse to many girls who have never even heard the word “orgasm” – pitifully sickening.

    My advice to you, read some parenting books. Maybe a Abraham Lincoln biography or something too. And learn what it means as a MAN to really “grow a pair”. Men are not men without RESPECT and RESPONSIBILITY. Respect you may know of, however it’s apparent that it’s not the respect of a truly noble man. Responsibility you may know of, but yet again not the responsibility of a TRULY NOBLE man – made evident by your lack of luster for the importance of PROTECTION, NOT SHELTERING – of our young ones. They are our future.

    Just because someone cared too much or maybe not enough for you does not mean you get a free lazy-ass-pass with your own race. Your type of attitude and demeanor is the same suffocating our economy and our people.

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  29. Thank you Rev. I appreciate this letter to the -nth degree. I’m 19 going on 20. I’ve grown up thinking that when I get married, I don’t want to have my mind slaughtered by what the culture approves of and then have the potential thoughts of looking at my wife for the first time and thinking, “I’ve seen better.” Thank goodness I didn’t. I appreciate modesty in woman, and it’s expecially important for young women and girls to understand that they are worth more than how something makes them look. Sure there are some degrees to which parents need to step back and let their kids make their own decisions, but kids too frequently want things that make them attractive. If they wear underwear like this, my question is who’s looking at them wearing it that makes them feel like that. Women who dress to impress are weak women who find 100% of their worth in image. All the liberal views think kids should do what they want when they want. That’s childish, not mature. It’s the same attitude that adults go into major debt over, because even a child can say “I want it and I want it now.” Maybe what this daughter wears won’t necessarily keep her from being “dirty” when she grows up, but this man is doing what he can to keep this ridiculous culture from having a negative affect on her, which there is nothing wrong with. Who is anyone else to say he’s a bad parent for trying to protective her from crappy influences. You raise your kids the way you want, the rest of us will do the same. This is America. People have the freedom to say what they want, but just know it doesn’t make a difference what you say (those of you who attack this man and anyone else who’s conservative), so you might as well not say anything. He’s doing what he feels necessary, it’s not like you don’t do the same. Stop attacking people who are different from you! What are we a bunch of robots?!

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  30. There are so many other places to purchase pretty and comfortable undergarments. Bye-bye Victoria’s Secret.

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  31. i commend you on your effort. it is too bad that our country and our thinking is such that VS can see the acceptance of this into our culture. God has given you the greatest gift and responsibility to “raise her up….” . Don’t give up on her, ever! God has given you the greatest power… HIS! use it daily as you walk with her into womanhood and she will love and respect you for it and most important you will have taught her to love and respect herself and God !

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  32. I have 2 teenage daughters and thankfully they don’t care for VS. They really detest clothes shopping because all the clothes aimed at teens expose WAY TOO MUCH! I’m thankful for how the Lord is working in their lives and thank you for posting this letter.

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  33. VS is looking to sell these products because there is a market for them. If they don’t market them someone else will. In the new normal of “modern young America”, civil responsibility and caring for your neighbor or investing your life in a third world mission station are not the prize, instead sexual liberation is the prized ideal. Who you are depends upon your score card and by that I mean how many people and what activities have you been involved in. This shallow pornographic mindset is pushed in high school and in some cases as young as Jr. High. Believe it or not some want to push this garbage on our children at ages as young as kindergarten and preschool. With this being the case, is it any wonder that there is a market for these items?

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  34. I can’t help thinking that young girls get their self esteem from their parents. Does her father think that women are objects, or does he believe that a woman is a feeling, thinking, caring human being? Yes, Victoria Secret is crossing a line with this whole marketing to middle school students, however if fathers would like their daughters to feel good about themselves — they need to look at all women in the way they look at their daughters. With the exception of their wives, when they are in private. Fathers and mothers too, need to model that behavior, so their daughters don’t have the need for undergarments with “Call Me” or “Pretty Young Thing” printed on them!

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  35. Just because the silly company makes the tasteless products doesn’t mean you have to buy them! Perhaps they will sell nothing from the line and learn a lesson?

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  36. hi I saw your nice letter, your daughter same like she good sweet lovely
    girl. well sir you have point. thank you being a great wonderful father
    you are. you sure work for doctor or law. how you made your choice
    do your daughter and you. you both have great life together. I not
    normal but if I did I’ll be good loving mother to my daughter or
    my son. because I have good heart who love baby and have great
    life. I have special spirit I can do my self. I bless have boyfriend
    who love me just as I am.
    This is for V.S if I did have daughter I don’t let her ware
    sexy under ware not this kind.!!!!!!

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  37. Pingback: Victoria’s Secret is coming for your Middle Schooler | Marketing and Society ⎢ McGill

  38. Pingback: A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father | Rev. Evan Dolive |

  40. My comment is addressed to “V”…I don’t think the issue here is the fact that these young girls have choices. I’m sure the father who wrote this letter originally would agree with you that his daughter deserves choices and deserves to be given the benefit of the doubt. That is not the problem. The problem comes in when he feels that a choice is being offered…no ADVERTIZED….that is not appropriate for his daughter’s mental/physical/emotional stage in life. And even beyond his own daughter, young girls in general.

    It is no secret that the phrase “Bright Young Things” is, in fact, targeting a much YOUNGER demographic than previous…so to skirt around it by saying “well, if it is not wise then she won’t choose it and the older girls will” is misleading. Victoria’s Secret WANTS her to choose it…they will advertize and push for her to do so…they have millions of dollars invested in whether or not she does. I agree that girls should be given choices but that does not translate into girls should be given every choice. This clothing line is dangerous for the well-being of younger girls.

    It is a bit of a stretch, but the concept is similar if you place three drinks in front of a child; beer, juice, and water…and say “We’re not endangering their well-being…we’re only encouraging freedom of choice.” No, you are being HARMFUL and crossing societal lines. Society is pushing back. If I were Victoria’s Secret, I would recall my line and offer a formal apology…otherwise they will be held responsible for furthering the moral degredation of society…and I am positive long-term sales will reflect that sentiment. How dare you try to justify innapropriate advertizing/clothing for the sake of “choices.”

    I do not hate Victoria’s Secret at all, the majority of my underwear comes from their store…but, as a 24 year old married woman I will seriously re-think where I am investing my money if this line launches.

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  41. I am mother to five children, two young men and three young women. The one thing I did not catch is who is buying these products for their daughters? Our biggest voice as consumers is our wallet, or greenback as so many call it. If parents did not EVER purchase these provocative undergarments, possibly VS would discontinue making these products. I have come to not enjoy VS undergarments as a woman who has purchased many products there. The group of ladies VS is marketing to has moved from all women to young women, and I am talking about 25 and under. Stop shopping in their stores and online and eventually VS will get the message. So many things said here are true, but our power comes from NOT purchasing or participating in any event sponsored by VS. Taking a stand sometimes require a sacrifice. I feel sure you can find cologne, lotions, makeup and lastly pretty and comfortable under garments that are NOT sold with BLATANT sexuality. As parents,we are constantly bombarded with ‘challenges’ to fill our young girls minds with the right motive in purchases made with their funds. I will not now or ever allow my girls to wear clothing that advertises SEX! God gave sexuality to us as a gift in marriage, not for the world to see! I know there will be a day I cannot make this choice for my girls, but as long as I am the Mother in my house, there will not be any question as to why I do not support this. Don’t be afraid to PARENT your children. Challenging but so worth it. Thank you for starting this dialogue.

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  42. I agree with this father. Sex sells now adays and it is an embarrasment. No matter how well you raise your kids and teach them there are 20 kids in bad home lives that are easily influenced. Who lets their kids or teens wear panties with these suggestive words on them?? We need some good parenting and shame on you VS for this trashy sales approach!!

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  43. As the mother of 3 daughters and now grandmother of 6 granddaughters, I still believe that girls should be just that, girls…they will be women soon enough. Let’s keep their innocence as long as possible. Exposing them to sexy undergarments at a young age is just crazy.. My granddaughters are ages 8 – 12 and none of them are emotionally ready or mature enough to handle what goes along with wearing sexy clothing or sexy undergarments. What is wrong with the people who make these decisions for Victorias Secret. Yes sex sells, but do we want to sell our children??????

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  44. I followed this absurdity through FB…..the caption was so dumfounding and past idiocy I was beyond compelled to speak out. Personally, I am THRILLED that they are finally doing this! I, along with daughters, 20 year old (jr at KU) and my 11 year old, shop exclusively at VS for our undergarments. My 11 year-old, like myself and my grandmothers before me and their mothers before them, was blessed with an adult like figure at a young age. The VS size small fit her tiny waist and much, much fuller behind. Finding appropriate fitting undergarments is not only for comfort but for positive self body image. I own every cut of panties that VS makes, most are gifts from my adoring husband of 21 years, I own somewhere between 75 to 100 pairs of VS panties. Some pants or skirts call for a thong others call for cheekys. Clearly, Mr. Dolive, you are lacking the set of full breast and a vagina to make an educated opinion. There is zero harm that comes from appreciating fine fabrics and lace against our lady lumps. A female’s body is a temple of beauty inside and out, all shapes and forms. Self confidence is key to a mentally healthy female and if it means giving yourself, young or old, pairs of underwear that say “hot” really where is the offense. I’m going to end with this…..my husband, one of many dads that shop at our local shop, will accompany our daughters to VS. Our daughters welcome him to do so as they were brought up with true self confidence feeling comfortable in their own skin… they do not feel belittled by a meaningless grammar adjective printed on fabric that is be-jewelled. It is meaningless words. There are many, many other things that we need to fear for our daughters ie like finding a mate that belittles and destroys self confidence through thought, word, and deed.

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    • Please have your daughters sterilized immediately so that you don’t perpetuate your idiocy any further. This issue has nothing to do with having an adult-like figure. How dare you attempt to demean a caring father because he doesn’t have “a set of full breasts and a vagina”. You are despicable. The very fact that your girls are ok with their dad accompanying them to VS (and vice-versa) proves that you raised your girls to be the whorish stereotypes that this marketing is targeted towards. I weep for your children, but I won’t stop praying for them.

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  45. Each kid has their own basic personality, and their own tendencies toward being a leader, follower, independent thinker, having a herd mentality, or having a self concept that stands up to peer review. Having a relationship with parents who will always love and accept them no matter what their decisions and/or failures is of utmost importance. They need to realize that friends will fail them, but family will always be there for them, no matter what their choices. All of these contribute to whether they will even step foot into one of these stores. My (23yr old) daughter never would, until she was married, and the topic had never even come up. But she knew from a very young age that we always paid more for higher end bathing suits, and spent a lot of time in the dressing room being sure that no matter how she moved around she still had bodily privacy. Today she considers her parents among her best friends, and has a wonderful relationship with her husband. Somehow, she survived the onslaught of the clothing industry that tried to make her look like a hooker once she outgrew the children’s sizes. I wasn’t always comfortable with what she had to wear, but let it go….as it was more cultural than blatantly perverse, as it could have been.

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  46. I agree totally and am a mother to two daughters 19 and 13. I will not buy any products from this line at VS. If we don’t buy, it won’t survive.

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  48. Disgusted by this. Maybe bad publicity is just as helpful as good publicity for VS. Happy to discontinue my patronage of their stores and catalogs if this is the direction they plan to take.

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  49. I find it very hard to accept a few extremes mentioned throughout the article and the comments that followed. First, please don’t consider the writer to be a saint or a villain for the choices he makes and writes about, he is a man, like any other man who simply has a desire to share what he feels is best for him & his family. As a parent with a child, he has every right to guide, mold, and enforce whichever values he wishes in his family. Are his choices infringing on my choices? No, of course not. Does he wish to enforce his values on everyone else? Of course he does, he wants society to reinforce the values that he has set for his child. We all want that!

    …The problem however is society cannot accommodate each individuals (or group of individuals) wants and desires for society… Like the good Rev., I too have a strong distaste for sexual marketing aimed at my now 7yr old daughter whom I love and want to keep protected as much as possible. At the same time, I realize that if I am allowed to shut down those parts of society that don’t work in favour of my values, then why can’t others shut down my outlets of values that don’t work for them (be it church, or writing, or art, or…etc)? And yes, profit & capitalism have gotten far out of control, but let’s be real with ourselves – if the products, tv shows, movies, or music don’t sell, then it simply won’t be produced anymore! The Paris Hiltons & Lindsay Lohans that have infiltrated our society are as much a product of who we choose to be, as much as it is a choice of the producers of such things. We are not without sin. At the end of the day, Michael Jackson said it best: ”If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make the change!” I will personally make the choice to not buy, and even teach my daughter why we are not to buy these type of products, but I want her to know that society is not going to make these choices on her behalf when she gets to an age where she is old enough to make decisions. If I’ve done a good job as a parent who teaches & protects, I will hopefully have raised a lovely young woman who will one day have children to teach and protect also. I do not expect society to do the work of parenting for me, and I’m happy it doesn’t because for each of those areas I don’t like about society, I’m glad there are areas of society that work well for us! 🙂

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  50. I wish more parents felt like the writer. If they did, this filth would never sell, problem solved. Instead, parents are worried about their kids’ popularity, and being the “cool parent.” Kudos to him for speaking out, and I hope (but doubt) VS listens.

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