A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father

/ Rev. Evan Dolive

An open letter to Victoria’s Secret regarding their choice to make an underwear line aimed at young teenagers. (Read about it here)

Dear Victoria’s Secret,

I am a father of a three year old girl. She loves princesses, Dora the Explorer, Doc McStuffins and drawing pictures for people. Her favorite foods are peanut butter and jelly, cheese and pistachios.

Even though she is only three, as a parent I have had those thoughts of my daughter growing up and not being the little girl she is now. It is true what they say about kids, they grow up fast. No matter how hard I try I know that she will not be the little ball of energy she is now; one day she will be a rebellious teenager that will more than likely think her dad is a total goof ball and would want to distance herself from my embarrassing presence.

I know that this is far down the line and I try to spend as much time as I can with her making memories of this special time.

But as I read an article today posted on The Black Sphere, it really got me thinking that maybe the culture that we currently find ourselves in is not helping the cause.

Recently I read an article that Victoria’s Secret is launching a line of underwear and bras aimed at middle school aged children. The line will be called “Bright Young Things” and will feature ” lace black cheeksters with the word “Wild” emblazoned on them, green and white polka-dot hipsters screen printed with “Feeling Lucky?” and a lace trim thong with the words, “Call me” on the front.”

As a dad, this makes me sick.

I believe that this sends the wrong message to not only my daughter but to all young girls.
I don’t want my daughter to ever think that her self-worth and acceptance by others is based on the choice of her undergarments. I don’t want my daughter to ever think that to be popular or even attractive she has to have emblazon words on her bottom.

I want my daughter (and every girl) to be faced with tough decisions in her formative years of adolescence. Decisions like should I be a doctor or a lawyer? Should I take calculus as a junior or a senior? Do I want to go to Texas A&M or University of Texas or some Ivy League School? Should I raise awareness for slave trafficking or lack of water in developing nations? There are many, many more questions that all young women should be asking themselves… not will a boy (or girl) like me if I wear a “call me” thong?

I want my daughter to know that she is perfect the way she is; I want my daughter to know that no matter what underwear she is wearing it does not define her.

I believe that this new line “Bright Young Things” thwarts the efforts of empowering young women in this country. “Bright Young Things” gives off the message that women are sex objects. This new line promotes it at a dangerously young age.

I implore you to reconsider your decision to start this line.

By doing so you will put young girl’s self-esteem, self-worth and pride above profits.

Sincerely,

Rev. Evan Dolive
Houston, TX

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2,835 thoughts on “A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father”

  1. I agree.. I’m very much against the fact that they are making sex seem ok and right for teens.. but I have an 8yr old little girl and I don’t even want to think about her having to make those choices at suck a young age.. girls are not objects for boys and need to take pride in who they are.. they do not need to wear provocative underwear bc they shouldn’t be showing them to any one at such a young age..

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    • Thank you for trying to make a difference! I 100% agree, I have an almost 12 year old girl and it is very hard to let her make choices, but I trust and show her what I can. Kudos

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    • I agree totally with this letter. V.S. children grow up fast , they will be adults soon enough to keep your profit line in check. You guys have wonderful selections for adults but no-one in there right minds want their teens showing there undies just because they’re cool. That is a closer step of our kids getting naked for someone, and more encouragement for there boyfriends to get the idea like “Oh yea, she wants me.” When honestly they are just happy how your products are “the coolest.”

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  2. I honour you Sir. May your daughter grow up to know the value she has as a woman, sacred in her femininity, with a true understanding of the beauty and spiritality contained in the sexual act itself, as you so clearly do.

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  3. Pingback: The “B” word | Voices Initiative Blog

  4. Yes. Sex sells. But to whom is sells is the issue here. I for one commend the Rev. for taking a stand against such a casual approach to defending the innocence of our young ones (boys included as they are the other side of this “selling” as an idea of objectification).

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  5. Underwear is “personal.” If you don’t like this idea of this new line by VS then don’t let your daughter shop there. The most disturbing thought is that this is a dad’s issue. Pick your battles.

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    • You are an Idiot. You tell a father when and were to pick his battles when it comes to his daughter! Middle school girls should not be wearing lace thongs. VS should be ashamed for even trying to target those kids!

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    • Sorry, but I am not sure how you can stop your daughter from going to the mall with friends? It is not like you must be an Adult to enter the store so the only way they can get the clothing is if you buy them yourself. Teenage girls like to shop… do they like to shop with there dads? I would have to say no… How can you stop them from shopping there?

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      • Most teenagers don’t work so they ask Mom or Dad for the money. So to stop them from shopping there is to not give them money. No money no gross underwear!!!!!

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    • Pick your battles? One minute we complain that respectable and caring fathers are absent in young girls lives and the next minute we’re criticizing them for being just that. I appreciate a father standing up in protection of his daughter, I wish the grown women pushing for the line would do the same.

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    • He is picking his battles, and this battle is against a culture of idiots who find it acceptable to sexualize pre-teen girls. The most disturbing thought to me is that there is even a single parent out there who would allow their daughter to wear such a revolting garment, “personal” or not.

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    • I have to say that is a sad comment from you Mary Jackson. I commend that man for his concern for this countries young children. Yes, underwear is a personal thing so why have all that crap on a 3-15 year old who isn’t suppose to have another person looking at her underwear?

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    • Sorry but you are wrong! Soooo wrong!!! the most disturbing thing to you is that a “father” i.e a male is concerned his daughter and all girls of a younger and younger age are increasing being used to sell sexy clothing? That’s the only thing about this that “disturbs” you? You seem to imply that as a man/father its none of his business and he shouldn’t have a say in the issue. Pull your head out of your butt lady! Of course not shopping there will send a message to your own children- spreading the word about this insane product line and getting the information out to others to BOYCOTT VS is an even better way to stick up for girls everywhere!

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    • @mary jackson,

      Finally, a voice of reason in this crazy discussion. Dads should be content earning money, watching football and drinking beer. Never should they discuss anything with their daughters; that is women’s work!

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      • You do understand that under-involved passive fathers that don’t choose to love their daughters enough to have a say in their underwear/lives-in-general is why many girls turn to sex, drugs and worse to find that fulfillment they needed from a father?!

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      • keeshadoss, passive fathers don’t don’t love their daughters, they just know their place. Women understand underware. Men don’t, thats why we’re OK with boxer shorts. Women have more sense than that.

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  6. Stop. Trying. To. Shelter. Your. Daughters.

    Boys who aren’t allowed to watch the Simpsons, or play Grand Theft Auto aren’t better human beings. They are the kids that are ostracized. By preventing your daughter from following whatever route she deems fit, whether of her own conscience mind or simply to follow the crowd, she has to learn on her own or she simply will not grow.

    Let your children be the independents we encourage them to be. Quit whining about how a respectable company decided to increase their demographic.

    Aka – grow a pair.

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    • So Mike, when your 11yo daughter says she wants to have sex with 15yo Jimmy down the street, I fully expect you to allow her to do so because youve grown a pair and you believe she has the right to make those choices because otherwise she might be ostracized due to all the other kids having sex in middle school. Yeah. Right.

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    • YOU MUST BE KIDDING! Leave these critical decisions up to CHILDREN? It’s a parents job to TEACH – how does a child know how to choose until they are shown the way. I hope that you are yet to become a parent, this is spoken like a true non-parent with no conscious.

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    • I agree with everything Rev. Evan Dolive says It’s a shame more parents don’t feel the same way and as far as “growing a pair”, my grandson is not allowed to play the wargames and everything else it shows such violence and yes in the long run it will make a difference because I raised my daughter the same way and she turned out perfectly fine!!

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    • There is a difference between sheltering and protecting. This is about the message that VS is trying to instill – saying that a young girls worth is tied to how many guys she can get to “call her”.

      just because you don’t care doesn’t mean other don’t care about how their daughters or younger sisters are viewed, and how they view themselves. Futhermore, the role of the parent is to help guide a young mind to NOT let them follow “whatever route seems fit” but to show them what route is best.

      seem kinda ironic to use respectable for a lingerie company, could have used almost any other adjective.

      aka – im using my pair to stand up for my kids….what are you doing with yours?

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    • Are you seriously comparing boys who aren’t allowed to watch The Simpsons to little girls who are not allowed to wear sexy underwear? Do you really not see the difference? A boy (or girl) not watching a television show or playing a game is something that everyone can know, a young girl’s underwear is something that NO ONE (but her parents) should know about.

      Your rationale makes no sense. Not every kid who is protected from inappropriate parts of our culture is ostracized. I was not allowed to watch The Simpsons, play violent games, or wear sexy underwear and I was not ostracized for any of those things. Keeping your children from experiencing things until they are the appropriate age is not sheltering, nor is it damaging. It’s called parenting.

      I was “sheltered” and I still grew into an articulate, confident, educated adult. I didn’t need grossly inappropriate undergarments to do so. I discovered and developed my sexuality at an appropriate age. At that time, I knew of my value as a person and was not pressured into anything in order to fit in. I made an educated choice and I was in love. Isn’t that what we all want for our children?

      I firmly believe that pushing children into independence at a young age is detrimental to their development. It teaches them that they are alone, that they have no one to turn to to help make decisions and talk things through. Children thrive with supportive, loving parents who set boundaries and impart consequences. I feel sorry for children whose parents allow them to grow up too soon. Childhood is the time to be a child, not the time to be primed for a sexual object. Little girls deserve to be little girls.

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    • @Mike:

      The VS line is aimed at Middle School aged girls – girls FAR TOO YOUNG to be making life decisions – and it’s disgusting. As a parent, it is your responsibility to teach your child what is right and wrong in the world, that they are priceless, to not seek their worth in their sexuality, etc. To expect a 12-14 year old to follow “whatever route she deems fit” without careful guidance from a parent is ridiculous. For one, a 12-14 year old is no where near having the mental and emotional maturity to handle such issues. Look at the lives of adults in their 30’s who, as kids, had parents who gave their all to teach them morals and standards compared to the lives of kids whose parents have taken the attitude of “she has to learn on her own or she simply will not grow”. The second kind (in general) end up with horrible regrets and usually need therapy.

      Please tell me you’re not a parent, because your post is written with the maturity and foresight of a child.

      (This is a heated response because children are the ones who suffer from irresponsible parents who don’t discipline or draw boundaries, and that breaks my heart.)

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    • mike is the guy we are protecting our daughters from. anyone with morals would be appalled that this company is targeting young girls …this is how pedifiles find their targets. we are just advertising for them…

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    • Wow! I guess you don’t have children. And if you did it sounds like they would be in a heap of trouble because their so called father just lets them do what ever they want. Parents are suppose to direct their children in a right direction. Not let them just do whatever they want because others will make fun of them. You are a piece of work.

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    • Mike; HE DID GROW A PAIR. He IS picking his battles. I think your biggest issue is that he picked a battle YOU don’t agree with. But he isn’t concerned about YOU. He is concerned about his daughter, and what a GOOD Dad he is for it. I wish MORE fathers were as concerned about their daughters and how they have a tendency to use inappropriate clothing as a means of defining themselves, but maybe YOU like seeing an 11 year old girl dress in sexy clothing, that doesn’t mean the rest of us have to agree with you. Middle school girls should NOT be wearing clothing that is too mature and sexy (like Victoria Secrets clothing line) for their age because they should not be having sex at this age. Trying to take a stand about a line of undergarments that are being marketed towards an age group that is TOO young for it is not a father sheltering his daughter….it is a father who doesn’t want his 5th-8th grade little girl dressing sexual and gathering sexual attention to herself that she is emotionally, mentally, and physically NOT ready for. Girls are having sex and getting pregnant younger and younger now, and I think the messages we tell our children from the clothing we allow them to wear and the mature influences we allow them to be exposed to are what give them the impression that this is what defines them… the strong need to be “beautiful and sexy”….which leads them into making choices they are simply not ready for. SO this is what “parents taking a stand” looks like. This is parents stepping in and saying “enough is enough” because they don’t want their little ones having sex just because society promotes sex everywhere. This is parents trying to fix a problem of sexualizing our young children when they are too young for it. I cannot imagine why ANYONE would argue against this, ….unless they are benefiting from it somehow… or taking some sick form of pleasure from seeing little under-age girls in sexy adult clothing…

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    • He’s not whining…anyway, the fact that you consider a company that would even consider putting out a line of thongs for middle schoolers respectable, shows what a nut job you are.

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    • So you are saying that sexualizing children is good?

      This is completely different then not watching the simpsons or playing a violent video game. Children who wear these will become sexualized by many of there peers more so then they already are. VS Shouldn’t be marketing towards children.

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    • @Schell,

      Think for a moment. School counselors, teachers, friends.

      Again, men need to be men and talking about underware or perfume or pink shaffon is not at all masculin. It sends a confusing message to cilderen.

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    • Let our children be independent is only found in America and so far the new youth is not doing so hot (and since now a lot of the other countries follow the trend, children grow up to be disrepectful, arrogant, rebelious and with no morals). Bible speaks clearly that if we as parents love our children we must teach them the right way of life, otherwise they grow up to be selfish, pushy people who think they know everything and destroying their lives in the process. Give them the freedom to choose the right thing, but at first show and explain for what the right thing is. If you don’t know the right from wrong yourself, well maybe you should begin digging into your own heart first and figure it out. What you are saying is completely irresposible and simply stupid.

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  7. I would just like to say, that as an employee of Victoria’s secret and a consumer of their goods, I agree to what you have said. However, I have seen many young girls come in and buy our products, and it really depends on what the parent is willing to buy them. In my opinion there are many other options than just those few “pink” brand items formerly mentioned that do not have phrases of any kind on them. Most young girls really do not care what phrases are on them. They just want them for the sake of saying “I’m wearing Victoria’s Secret underwear”. Which in all honesty is really not a good reason to buy it. Victoria’s Secret is really a great company that empowers women to feel good about themselves and their bodies. We strive to make her experience a pleasent one and one that she leaves feeling better about herself than ever. At least thats how I see it.

    I understand your concerns as a father but if shes going to want V.S. undergarments then help her understand that it is an undergarment for a reason.

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    • I agree that the VS brand has become a powerful thing to many women, young and older. May I put this suggestion forward? Rather than targeting the young middle school age girls with a line that screams “sex,” how about putting all those marketing and design minds to work on a line for them that will truly boost their self-worth with a message that will give them value?

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    • If these are supposed to be “an undergarment for a reason”, then the reason (I’m assuming) is that they are only to be seen by the wearer. If that is truly the case, then why are phrases like “Feelin’ lucky?” and “Call me” printed on them, as these are clearly meant as communication to someone other than the wearer?

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    • “Victoria’s Secret is really a great company that empowers women to feel good about themselves and their bodies. We strive to make her experience a [pleasant] one and one that she leaves feeling better about herself than ever.”

      You’re kidding me, right? I can’t EVER come out of a VS without feeling worse about myself? “empowers women to feel good about themselves and their bodies.” That is a lie, such false statement. When VS makes clothing for a more robust sized group, then I believe the bs you’re spouting.

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    • I completely disagree with this: “Victoria’s Secret is really a great company that empowers women to feel good about themselves and their bodies”. As a plus-size woman Victoria Secret who sells nothing over a under-cut XL does nothing to make me feel empowered or good about my body but rather that I should be stick-figure thin and unhealthy. So I should be able to count my ribs by the looks of your product line and emblazon my clothing with come-hither catch phrases to ’empower’ myself awareness? I seriously don’t think so! As a truly self-confident woman who understands that I am the way God intended me to be, beautiful from the inside out, I understand that Victoria Secret has no secrets and does nothing for women but strip them of their God-given femininity by encouraging them to debase themselves for the ideals of sex and culture. Reality check time. V.S garments don’t help any female who wears them. They hurt them by destroying their ability to create true self-esteem in ones self as a whole person rather than a sexual object to be ogled by the masses.

      Props to Rev. Dolive for making a stance against a company who’s aiming to sell sex to a children!

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    • You sound like a nice person Kate so don’t take this personally…please…spare us the corporate/capitalist/consumerist BS. Step out of your VS employee mindset and see things for what they really are. A leading lingerie company creating a line of thongs and underwear with the labels “Call Me” and “Feeling Lucky” is downright bloody obnoxious!

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      • Correction:
        A leading lingerie company creating a line of thongs and underwear with the labels “Call Me” and “Feeling Lucky” for young teenage girls is downright bloody obnoxious!

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  9. I couldn’t agree more! As a young woman in college, our roles and worth are often defined by how much we are willing to give of ourselves thanks to all the girls who put themselves out there guys treat all girls like a piece of meat that’s really only good for one thing. I really appreciate the stance this father has taken on behalf of all young women!

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  10. I dont think it is right for them to sell it. But most of all the parent should not buy it for their daughter. This is one reason little girls are getting raped they dress in clothes that is way to old looking for them . To make theirselves cute and then something bad happens and then the parents want to blame someone else.

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    • “This is one reason little girls are getting raped they dress in clothes that is way to old looking for them.”

      I have a problem with it being the “little girls” fault. How about we teach boys that it is NEVER okay to rape, NEVER okay to perform a sexual act without consent. That rape is an evil power trip!!!
      Just because a person may be looking for a sexual liaison does not mean it’s open season for anybody who desires her. She is still allowed to chose whom she wishes to participate with. It is not an invitation for rape!!

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    • ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!

      Girls are getting raped because they are dressing too sexily?! How about they’re getting raped because our culture portrays them as sex objects and teaches boys they can have whatever they want and that women don’t deserve their respect? The way a woman dresses has NOTHING to do with her getting raped. As a victim of rape, I find this very offensive and narrow minded. It is absolutely right for the parents to “blame someone else” when their daughter is raped. No matter what a girl wears, says, or how she acts, she always has the right to say, “NO!” when, and if, she wants, even if she previously said, “Yes!” A woman’s body is her own, no one has the right to do with her what they want.

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    • The ONLY person responsible for rape is the rapist. I don’t care if a woman is wandering the streets naked, every man who sees her has the responsibility NOT to rape her.

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    • Really? You think girls are getting raped because of what they are wearing? And that the parents of the victim have no right to “blame someone else” (the “someone else” being the attacker)? I agree that girls are dressing older than they should, but that’s what little girls want! They want to look older, and there isn’t a whole lot you can do about that. I’ve known girls who have worn provocative clothing under big sweaters, who take the sweaters off and roll up their skirts as soon as their parents drop them off at the mall. To say that these girls should expect to get raped because of the clothing they wear is disgusting; it’s this kind of discourse that makes it seem okay for men to sexually abuse (young) girls because of their clothing, that grown men have absolutely no control over their actions.

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    • Little girls do not get raped because of their underwear selections. They are raped because there are bad people in the world called pedophiles who are sexually attracted to children and who target children. To suggest that the child is to blame is offensive and emotionally damaging to children who have been victims of molestation and spent years in therapy to learn that the abuse was not their fault and to help them cope with their feelings of guilt and shame. You are ignorant. Please hop on to google and educate yourself on rape culture.

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  11. Nana B
    I’m a mother of 3 girls and a Nana to a 3 yr. old girl and a 1 yr. old boy! The distasteful products started to come out as I raised my daughters. I originally shopped at VS, when underwear was made a little more attractive and appealed to me over K-mart or Sears brands! But as my girls grew older I saw the industry change and the message VS was sending wasn’t the same. I would get their catalog and enjoyed ordering from it at times. But then I began to notice the the models were starting to look like 14 yr. old girls or younger! I found this to be very disturbing and sickening. I canceled my catalog delivery. I did not want to promote this kind of sex appeal and exploitation of children. VS has NO business airing there commercials when they do and personally I don’t think it is ever necessary to advertise underwear in that fashion on TV, men or women’s.
    Thank you Rev. Dolive for taking the time to write your letter. I think your views are shared by more of us than not. We are losing the world we used to know where men respected women and women respected themselves. Now it seems to be all about the dollar and if sex sells then people feel they have a right to make money off of it, at the expensive of our youth!! There is no modesty anymore! I have stopped buying their product for years and my children never have, they have plenty of options for nice underwear elsewhere that doesn’t take their whole paycheck!!

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    • No Debbie, girls do not get raped because of their clothes. The only person to blame in a rape is the rapist. Period. The end. We need to let girls know that their worth derives from who they are as people- not by what they wear or how they look. But we also have to start teaching our boys and young men that they have a responsibility to respect others around them. Rape is about power, and if someone needs to feel powerful, they should take control of their own lives- not exert power over another person.

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  12. If you don’t want to shop at VS then don’t ! i wear my underwear but nobody knows i have words on my underwear i don’ t go around telling people that i have writing on my underwear or pull my pants down to show people so what is the hangup!!!!! . it undergarments !!!!

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  13. It is ashame that any company needs to sell there brand with sexual words that are degrading for either sex. When I was younger the Roadrunner cartoon was banned for being to violent. What happened to this group of people, we really need them today. Violence and sex seems to be what sells, what a shame.

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  14. Who in their right mind would even take their girls there. When my daughter asked about that store I told her it was for girls who where more worried about what other thought of them and moved on. I will not shop at any stores that push sex in any form and SV does all they time. They are just pimps in disguise. All for profit and nothing else. They are whats wrong with America, and why we have young girls killing them self to get even smaller. So keep it up SV, keep pedaling anorexia and sex! Because its what sales and when America finally gets their head out of their butts you will be looking for a new market.

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  15. As a mother of 2 young daughters, I already feel like I have to hide the Victoria’s Secret mags when they come in the mail. If this launches, I will unsubscibe, AND will not support my fave store anymore!

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  16. I am a grown women and even in my twenties would have never worn anything like that. The problem is VS is a company that’s sole interest is making money. There product is shoddy sweat shop work. Everything I’ve ever bought from there has been over priced, and uncomfortable. They don’t even sell the sizes of the women the portray in there ads. The only person that is going to by to by a pair of poorly make thongs with trashy writing on them is a young women who doesn’t know any better. If vs really cared about their impact on American culture they would changed their product along time ago.

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  17. Great letter…..leave the under garments for the young adult and mature women please!!! Not appropriate for the young children!!!

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  18. Sad they would do that. It’s sad they think they need to have a line for young kids that nobody but themselves better be seeing.

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  19. It’s a good letter from a concerned dad. It won’t change VS, but maybe make other parents aware of this type of marketing and what they will encounter if they take their girls there to shop. One of my pet peeves with VS is that they introduced “acceptable” soft porn onto prime time TV. Because it’s underwear it seems like they can get away with anything. The ads are targeted to sell sex and appeal to the desire to be luxurious and classy. But it’s tacky and undermines the moral values parents are teaching.

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  20. I appreciate what this reverand is trying to say. I have 2 teenage girls and I am terrified at what this world accepts as normal anymore. I have talks with my girls now and set the expectations but it doesn’t get easier with the amount of “sex sells” in this world. So I commend you rev for standing up for values and morals. Thank you.

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  21. On this Holy Week, we should be thinking of making a difference in the world, to add love, faith & kindness. Please send VC a message that our young children are not a tool for exploiting…All Parents beware! Take action to get the message out!!!

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  22. Pingback: Letter from dad to Victorias Secret | Happy Ever After

  23. Thank you for taking the time to write a well written letter. I am no prude, but think Victoria’s secret has the cheesiest style and marketing to all women, young and old.

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  24. “The most disturbing thought is that this is a dad’s issue” the most amazing thought is that I dad cares this much about his daughter and is willing to take a stand for it. every parent should care if their daughter is wearing sexually explicit underwear…especially as a young teen. If more fathers cared about how their daughters dressed maybe you wouldn’t see 12 year olds prancing around in shorts that are no longer than the underwear they presumably have on. Or boys that wear their pants under their bottoms and show their underwear to world. (A trend that happened in prison to show the other inmates you are wanting a sexual encounter.) If more parents were this proactive in their children’s lives they(VS) wouldn’t be tossing the idea around to make them. Rev. or not I think he is a great dad for wanting the best for his daughter and standing up for what he believes in. I wish there were more…

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  25. I think this Rev./father was articulate, polite and honest in stating his opinion and concern. I don’t think his request is realistic, but I can see where he’s coming from. Being dramatic & overreacting discredits your comment, regardless of what side of this you are on.
    For me the bottom line is, if you don’t like it, don’t buy it. Vote with your dollars, it’s the ONLY thing they listen to. I have 4 daughters ranging from 2 -19 years, and passionately, actively fight sex trafficking, but this letter is not for VS. I can’t pretend that this Rev seriously thought they would toss out their business model & bottom line for his concern for his 3 year old.
    If the problem is that this is targeted at young girls, then as a parent you should be able to shield them from what you think is harmful. It would seem that once they are old enough to purchase these undies it is a moot point. Raise them how you feel is right. Protect, educate, love them. This letter seems more like an attention ploy, and look, it’s worked! 🙂

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  27. It goes without saying that no right thinking parent would buy the “call-me” thong or the “feeling-lucky?” hipsters for their middle school daughter. And of course I applaud the Rev’s effort to raise VS’s awareness of the destructive nature of the product they are promoting. Alas, my guess is that these arguments were considered and rejected by the VS people in favor of expanding market share to make a buck. Since VS will obviously not be getting any of our daughters’ clothing budget, how then can we send a message that VS will hear?

    By not buying any of their adult products for the moms, girlfriends, or older sisters who might otherwise wear them, of course. And making the reasons for that decision known to all who might otherwise consider buying them. In our house, at least, the boycott has begun.

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  28. YES! to Stand UP fathers and parents who choose to be involved in the world our children grow up in. Mine are teens now and we have been with them everyday along the way. IT ALL COUNTS! I applaud the folks who also STAND for the children who are not looked after and who need our voices and our choices to protect them from unscrupulous profiteers. Bless the Children! EVERY ONE!

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  29. Pingback: Reblog: A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father | The Shattered Glass Slipper

  32. Thank you for this thought-provoking letter. It is well-written and speaks for so many thousands (and I hope even millions) of Americans today. God bless you for stepping up and writing this.

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  33. I am a single mother of 4 girls… ages 19, 18, and twins 13… They all wear underwear from La Senza, as we don’t have a Victoria Secret here, but same style of underwear… I don’t think the underwear defines my daughters’ choices in life… I have always let them make their own choices… of course with encouragement and guidance as a parent should and I have found that they make the right decisions in the end… they like the underwear because it’s pretty… but they haven’t turned into sex craved individuals because of the underwear… they actually are all quite proper in their relationships… (the twins haven’t started dating) and in all their styles/behaviors… I think how your children behave, is highly affected by the respect you have between each other… I always give respect to my daughters as I would expect from them, and in turn, they respect themselves…

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  34. It isn’t any better for kids to BRAG that they are wearing some NAME BRAND pair of underwear..and WHO is it that we want our daughter to SHOW HER UNDERWEAR TO? boys?? NO. Other girls who are SNOBBISH about the BRAND/sexy underwear that you must wear to be one of their CLIQUE? NNNOOOO!!! This father is soooo spot-on in his thinking. Growing up in a generation where sex didn’t sell everything, tampons and bra commercials were not allowed on television kept my mind on what made me an active,well rounded CHILD—there are sooo many positive things to engage our minds and bodies in. Swimming, bowling, golfing, trampoline, jogging, knitting, reading, babysitting, family time and SEXY underwear is NOT NEEDED TO ENGAGE AND ENJOY THESE ACTIVITIES.

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  35. I agree with you Sir. I have three children, a boy who is 6, a girl who is 5 and my youngest a girl who is 3. I want all of my children to know that they are wonderful inside and out. I am trying to teach all three of my children that the clothes that they wear do not make them who they are, the way they treat others does. I am trying to also teach my children to be happy with their appearance and be happy with how God made them.I trying to teach my three young children that its okay to cry if you are a boy or a girl, and that everyone needs to help out with laundry, dishes, dusting and so on. I applaud and tnank you for speaking out against the Victoria Secret’s new line of undergarments for young ladies.

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  37. As a mother to a teenage daughter I know where your coming from. I see so many young kids trying to play adult. It’s a shame that society has come to this. I’m proud to say my daughter is not into sexy under garments. As parents we need to raise are children not let society raise them for us.

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  38. I completely agree with this dad, where I work I see so many teenage girls that are either pregnant or think it’s okay to dress like a hood rat. Parents can do all they can to help their children not wear things like this, or do something that would end in being very regretful. Unfortunately today’s role models/commercials/peers have the thought if it’s sexy wear it, sex sells, or your not cool if you don’t have this.

    I recently had to deal with a pregnant 13 year old…the parents were very kind and loving, you could tell they were worried for their daughter, and have told her about being herself. What the girl claimed was her friends wear the same things, it’s ok to have sexual relationships at that age, and claimed she mostly got it from the friends and commercials, not to mention crappy role models that you see on t.v.

    People also seem to forget, boys hit puberty around that age too, if not later in life, even so guys usually tend to think with the other head, and girls want the guys to think their cute, or look attractive/sexy. Final outcome the boys just want one thing!

    Perhaps promote it for those who are adults, not teens, granted sex does sell, but you don’t need to make little girls hood rats, and parents not buy their little girls this stuff.

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  39. March 25 2013. I have just gotten off the phone with Victoria’s Secret headquarters about this.
    This is NOT true. Victoria’s Secret is NOT introducing any new line aimed at young teenagers or children.
    This is a hoax.

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  40. Thank you so much for taking the courage to say something!!!! Not enough people out there are willing to make a stand. I couldn’t agree with you more. Women of all ages are being told that they are only of worth if they dress immodestly or in as little as possible. I hope your letter truly makes a difference, if not in “Victoria’s” eyes at least in some ones else’s.

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  41. I absolutely AGREE with Rev. Dolive.
    In a capitalistic nation such as ours, everything is profit driven.
    But there has to be a line drawn somewhere and children & teens (say under 21) should be considered off-limits when it comes to these things. As a responsible corporate citizen, Victoria’s Secret and other similar companies targeting the kids market to sell their goods have to set their limits with a lot of consideration to kids upbringing and values that have to be passed on to them (the next generation/our successors). With provocative things in the open market, it becomes a challenge to teach them even the most fundamental things about our ways of our life, value of discipline in thoughts and actions and their roles in it.
    For example, although there is no one factor that can be attributed to problems such as teen pregnancy, these kinds of marketing strategies are making it harder for us to solve them.
    Thank you Rev. Dolive for writing the letter.

    Sincerely
    Sesh K

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  42. I agree with the Rev. I don’t think young girls underwear should have sayings on them. At that, neighter should the tight shorts that are sold in sports stores etc. I have a 13 year old daughter and we’ve gone to Victoria Secret to buy her underwear. She sees it all, however, they have very tastefull underwear as well. She’s a cotton girl and their selection is cute. She does see the other more risque and provocative things as well but she also knows that it’s for the adults. As a christian mother, you need to show the difference between being provocative and using your goods and recognizing who you are and what you have and how to treat your “girls” right. We bought her some better bras from this store. The woman was kind, gentle and explained how to properly measure for the right fit. My daughter enjoys the polka dots and colors and always wears them tastefully. No boy in her school knows she wears VS underwear. On the flip side, because we buy them, we know its quality and they have no risque words.

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  43. Well said, Dad. God bless you and your little girl … and all the little girls whose daddies aren’t aware of what’s going on in the world their daughters are growing into.

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  44. Victoria Secret shouldn’t sell to kids under 18. They are a lingerie shop and kids shouldn’t even be in that store with out a parent present.

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  46. I have to disagree with this. I’m sure there are many other choices of underwear without words printed on them. If he were a really good father, he would raise his daughter well enough that she wouldn’t want this ”demeaning” product. I understand what he is trying to say, but it isn’t VS fault if guys daughter grows up to be promiscuous. Not saying that is what will happen if you wear such underwear, because that would be ludicrous, but you get my point. He needs to lay off and just raise his daughter right.

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  47. All and I have to say to your letter is this…..AMEN! ….and of course, thank you for writing a letter that should touch the conscience of every adult, parent or not. God Bless.

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  49. I agree wholeheartedly. I am 18 years old, just finishing up my first year at college, and I prefer that my undergarments stay UNDER my clothes, and it therefore doesn’t really matter what they look like. There should not be provocative messages on undergarments made for twelve-year-olds, because no one should be seeing those undergarments. I’m not about to start slut-shaming and saying that girls shouldn’t have sex at all before they’re married (even though that’s my personal choice); that’s up to the individual girl. But this line is pressuring girls to be provocative and to feel like they need to be “sexy” at a much younger age than is necessary. Some girls haven’t even hit puberty by the time they’re twelve, and their brains are not developed enough to allow them to make adult decisions (like whether or not to have sex) and won’t be for at least another ten years.The media has a responsibility to teach people what is right (which is different from what is “okay”), and they need to start putting that responsibility over their desire to make more of a profit.

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