2,835 thoughts on “A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father”

1. I am a strong liberal. VS is not marketing this line to empower preteen girls or help them through the transition stage from little girl to young woman. They are selling to the mothers who like the sexy look. Pretty colors, flowers, and prints can be feminine and not crude or sexy. My five year old granddaughter will never be seen wearing panties that say ‘call me’!
   Wake up mothers and fathers!

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   • I’m guessing that you and I are political opposites. But here we are in complete agreement.

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     • Another strong liberal here — and in total agreement with you. This is pretty crass and a little gross on Victoria Secret’s part.

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   • You don’t know that lol, you can’t control what your granddaughters parents buy for them…….YOU wake up.

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   • Not sure what any of this has to do with being a liberal/conservative?

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   • You are correct – it is the mothers who think the look is cute, the mothers who want their daughters to be sexy. But the dads apparently are passive (or out of the picture altogether) and not asserting any authority over what kind of clothing their girls wear.

     In the meantime, my husband and I are raising our daughter how to find clothes that are fashionable, cute, but also appropriate for her age. No words emblazoned anywhere. She is 14 and has a typical interest in fashion – not overwhelming, but she wants to look nice. We’re proud of the sense of style she is developing for herself – a sense of style that is not based on VS or the pop star of the day.

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   • This makes me want to puke. This will be another company I boycott along with Hardees for a similar reason. Coming from the perspective of a mommy with two sons, our culture has got to start realizing and acting on the detriment we are paying our girls. Girls are told from an early age they must dress like grown women and suggestively (sometimes sleezy) taboot to be beautiful and desirable to boys. (Check out girls’ clothing anywhere these days.) Boys are flooded with all kinds of suggestive and blatant images of young girls made up to look like women (and sometimes sleezy women) then those same boys are told, “but you can’t touch or lust after that” Our society is virtually asking boys to lust, obsess, and encourage the very kinds of trash clothing this article discusses. We need to send the message that we don’t want our girls wearing skimpy underwear with suggestive sayings on their bottoms. If we want girls respected for their minds and not objects for drooling fools after their bodies, we need to clothe them as such. If we don’t want girls to be seen as sex symbols, we should not allow our girls to act like one or dress like one starting as early as 12 at times. Girls, you are beautiful and worthy and perfect just the way you are without lame exterior examples of what the culture calls “cool”, “trendy”, or “pretty”. You are beautiful and worthy because God made you that way and that is something to seriously consider. Please don’t buy this trash for your daughters. Please tell your sons NOT to accept this kind of dress for their sisters and friends.

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2. I do not have daughters, but, teach in special education at the elementary level. We do NOT need to be marketing this type of lingerie to young children. Some children are not fortunate enough to have parents who will not allow them to wear this. Believe it or not, there are parents who will think this is cute! Tweens (the marketed age, I assume) are so influenced by their peers and will do whatever their friends are doing. Whether they are allowed to wear them or not, they will all know about it and want that certain pair of panties if that is what is “cool.” This is especially true for children with special needs. They just want to fit in with their typical peers.
   Victoria’s Secret, please pull this line. There is nothing wrong with marketing to this age group, but, can’t you just keep it simple and pretty without any sexual innuendos written on the butt? Please!!

   Thanks for making this mother of two young men aware of this.

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   • This is so true!! I’m so glad this father decided to write about this!!! My daughter is 23, so I get raising a daughter, and now the man I’m with has 3 boys, 19, 16 n 10! And i am continuously telling them to respect young girls and women!! Our world has become sexually oriented enough, everywhere you look. There is just no room for romance and surprise anymore! I think this type of underware line is just unbelievable! I don’t now what they are thinking, it’s Ridic!!! No young girl should wear anything that says this, and really tired of women just being thrown out as nothing but a sex object and a label to wear something that suggest so! Come on VS I’m pretty sure you can come up with something else!

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3. This is why I simply teach my three daughters to inore the lamestream. And thankfully they do. We all laughed at Beyonce…even my 7 year old could see how ridiculous that was.I am the only one in the house with VS anything. My junior high kid hates malls, big stupid bows and people who say “like” every other word. I hope that doesn’t change. All my girls know they are valued purely for their spirit and not because they are beautiful (which they are).

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   • Yes! Gypsy! another like-minded mom!

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     • I agree with you……teach them self worth at that age, not how to snag a man at an early age. Why would it matter what your underwear says, if you have no intentions of someone seeing them…VS has messed up this time…it is hard enough in these days to teach the girls not to sucome to the peer pressure.

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4. thank you. director of children’s ministry, http://www.liveoak-church.org Austin, TX

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5. Thank you for this well written letter. I too have concerns for our children. Though my personal concern is for my own daughter, I also worry about the messaging this kind of clothing gives to young men. We have too many young men thinking it is okay to objectify, hurt, and rape women (there has been 1/2 dozen news stories on the subject this week in my local paper). Of course a young man is ultimately responsible for his decisions, but marketing like Victoria Secret’s sends a message that it is okay to objectify women and does not teach out young men how to be in life-giving, loving relationships with the women in their lives. Our society has to do better by our children, for the sake of both our girls and boys.

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6. Ok easy solution……….If you don’t like it, don’t look at it. If you don’t look at it, you won’t buy it. Besides Rev. What the Hell are you doing in a VS store???

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   • He was not in the store, if you read the article thoroughly you would know that he read about VS in a news article.

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   • He referred to an article he read, not that he was browsing a VS store. Read before you make an ill-informed response.

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   • Reverends have a sex life as well Marlene.. VS isnt all scandalously sexy. There are some really nice things there. Besides you dont need to go into a VS store to see what they have to offer.

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   • If you’d read his article carefully, you would have seen that he read it on a website.

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   • Marlene, really? is that the answer? You really can’t offer solutions when you don’t understand the problem. The problem is obviously not that the pastor is afraid that he will somehow be forced to buy these products. He’s concerned about the wider ripple affect these things have on the culture. If this underwear were designed in a way that would have a negative impact against the gay community there would be no end to the uproar. And stop bashing pastors.

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   • So, Marlene, your solution is “look the other way. Just ignore it.”? Because, clearly, that’s worked so well in our society. Being sheep enables corporate America to continue to push the ever-loving envelope of exploitation. When are we going to insist the female gender is more than what physical pleasure her body can provide? When should we expect humanity to insist our daughters are not seen as sex objects before they are able to make rational decisions about sex? Crossroads do offer options, but the “easy solution” isn’t usually the right one. The hard road most often offers a greater reward, and the hard decision here is to boycott VS until they tell themselves “Yes, we make enough (billions of) dollars offering lingerie to adult women who wish to feel sexy yet sophisticated, and the men who live to ogle said image”. WE need to leave our children out of it. Give them time to find their minds before their extroverted sexuality.

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   • @Marlene, NOT an easy solution! As another commenter wrote above, whether or not you yourself choose to purchase this product for your child, the mere presence of it is a negative influence that is not easily ignored when it is bombarding you from advertising in various media, as well as in their store at the local mall.

     AND, he clearly stated that he READ AN ARTICLE about this planned product line; and, as the father of a 3 year old little girl, he has issues with the implications of such!

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   • #1 No need for the language…
     #2 You don’t have to go to a VS store to see there products. They plaster them on billboards and magazines float around with half naked women on them. Sometimes I think they think their audience for their merchandise is men.
     #3 He is talking about his daughters…not him…although I would guess He doesn’t “look at it”. He doesn’t want his daughters to be exposed to such ridiculousness at such a young age.

     Sex is plastered everywhere….in almost every commercial and in almost every secular song. And we think the third world countries have a problem with sex…we are sadly mistaken. We are their role model as a country and all they know of America is that everyone has sex with people. Very sad.

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   • Marlene, Where in the Reverand’s statement does he say that he’s been in a VS store? Just wondering…..

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   • His letter is not addressing whether he “likes” it or not. It is addressing a deficiency in our culture, something harmful. It is harmful in the sort of way that it happens slowly and becomes integrated into our culture. Why would you lecture someone who is trying to protect. As for the last comment, one, he mentioned that he “read” about it. Two, he is married, why can’t a reverend buy lingerie? God created sex, He just created it with some boundaries in mind. If a reverend is truly close to God he will be close to his wife and it isn’t a shame to be sexy for your spouse.

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   • Seriously Marlene –
     You must have issues with the fact the the author is a reverend and immediately made assumptions based on on your bias towards religion and/or religious authorities. Wake up and realize that though he may be a conservative, his view is shared by those from the left as well (see the comment above from the self described liberal) who see the danger in this type of message when targeted to those of such a young age. I can’t fathom who came up with this idea – let alone what committee thought it was good enough of an idea to fund and promote it. VS has done very little (if anything) to positively influence our culture, but this is an all-time low.

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   • If you read his letter, he was NOT in a VS store. He was educated on this topic by reading an article!!!!!

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   • Marlene,

     You are obviously a teenager as it appears you didn’t completely read the article and it appears that you have no reverance for motherhood. The article is concerning the marketing of these items to parents and children. It is difficult not to “look at it” when Victoria’s Secret mainstream advertising is all over media outlets, television, magazines, and social media. The point is that this type of marketing is objectifying little girls which causes them to utimately feel inadequate. Marlene, have respect for yourself. When you are older, you will be grateful that you did.

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   • Are you really foolish enough to believe if you never walk into a VS store then you will never be exposed to this? When was the last time you turned your TV on? Even the “family friendly” shows air these type of commercials, and you certainly can’t watch a football or basketball game with your kids without being bombarded by half nude women and beer. It’s completely and utterly repulsive!!!! I applaud this father, whether he be a reverend or not, for taking a stand against this. We need more parents to step up and say “enough is enough.”

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   • Why has’nt anyone deleted Marlene’s comment yet? LOL!! He (Rev) read it in an article….clearly Marlene can not read.

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   • Not sure how you figure “don’t like it, don’t look at it” is an “easy solution” to VS marketing “feeling lucky?” underwear to malleable pre-teen girls who are losing more self-worth every day with this kind of piss-poor marketing, or the the point Reverend Gilmour makes about what message this may be giving young men?

     This is a large social/societal problem. It’s certainly not a matter of “don’t like it, don’t look at it?” …For instance, the Reverend may not like it and (by your brilliant suggestion) may choose not to look at it, but that young daughter he’s concerned about? …She’s still looking and being influenced.

     …Also, what would be the problem if Reverend Gilmour was in a VS store? Perhaps he was buying something for his wife? He’s an adult.

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   • Marlene, I am a 76 year old great grandmother and I still shop for nice and pretty lingerie at VS. Not thongs and such, just pretty things. However our kids are growing up so fast why rob them of that sweet inocense they have. It is so precious and once its gone it never comes back. You of course are free to judge.

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   • I am sure that he buys for his wife, he is a man with normal feelings I am sure, he just doesn’t want this for his young daughter as he is teaching her values…I am sure that it really isn’t his daughter that he is as concerned with as it is a lot of the latch-key children that we have in our lives today…the ones that have to learn lifes lessons, for themselves.

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   • Like you, Marlene, I used to have the skewed idea (no offense) that a person of God should not have a very good sex life (your implication suggests he has less of a right to be there than the average non-clergy person… a long time ago, I felt this way, too). This idea is based in the wrong belief that God is about empty religion, when God is really about us having a relationship in our heart with the Him. The God of the Bible who loves us created sex for the pleasure of a man and his wife (read the Song of Solomon in the Old Testament).

     While this PARTICULAR chain (VS) splashes scantily-clad images all over their store and catalog making it unwise for a married man to do much or any shopping there, you have to understand that in GENERAL, this married pastor has more right than any unmarried man to shop for lingerie for his wife and to have the “sexiest” sex with his wife, I might add.

     I can relate to you, because I used to confuse religion and relationship, too. Say a simple prayer and ask God to show you who he truly is in your heart.

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7. Sadly we can change this culture if people refuse and boycott this kind of product! my husband and I both agree with the Reverend! AMEN to him!

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8. The only thing I can say is you really can’t and probably won’t stop this- talk to your kids every day – explained to them why people try to influence them just to make that money and that they really don’t care about who’s obey they get and its not a pattern to live by- hope every thing go’s right for u !!!

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9. Hey, Rev – You shouldn’t be so subtle. Come right out and say exactly what you mean and what we’re thinking: VS is sexual-izing junior high girls, most likely based on the 2009 Iowa State study that showed most low-income girls become sexually active at 12.77 years of age (boys 12. 48) and the balance of girls, 13.16 years of age. I know we can’t tell a biz how to run their biz or to whom they can market when the product doesn’t directly affect health (e.g. cigarettes, alcohol), but we can certainly do what you’re doing and bring the fact these companies are not-so-subtly telling our girls that it’s okay to have sex so young, and just as importantly, that their body images should be pencil thin to be attractive and powerful. Bravo for your post!

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   • Bravo for yours too…. I agree.

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10. Dear Pastor Evan,

    I feel as though you’re looking at this issue from the wrong perspective. Obviously it’s a main priority for Victoria secret to market what’s going to be popular, and it’s unfortunate for you that teenage girls seem to share interest in underwear with text and graphics, however, if you’re concerned that a simple phrase on your daughters undies is going to have her make bad choices in life, I doubt very much she’ll ever juggle any Ivy League schools regardless of Victoria secret trying to corrupt her innocence.

    As well, if you’re suggesting that any single Victoria secret angel is to any degree unsuccessful, unintelligent, or unfit to act as a role model to young girls, maybe you should educate yourself, since most of their net salaries trump their NFL husbands, and be happy of the fact that instead of promoting the typical underweight, unhealthy lifestyle, Victoria secret models are healthy, incredibly fit and powerful women, and to suggest otherwise is offensive.

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    • It is too much, too early, Dan. It is not good or healthy for young women to see themselves this way. It is not about employment or salaries; it is not empowerment, it is a mentality of readily available sex for sale and it is so very unnecessary.

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      • This is a for sure…The ones with closed minds see this as okay. They see it as okay… It is far from okay … It is like throwing up a red flag, & ignoring it. If selling these to young girls (ones that should be focused on anything But sex) isn’t asking them to sell their selves what is? Like I have said before, If no one else is going to see them, why do they need to say “call me” or anything else suggestive?

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    • I dont think that was the Pastors intent. He is thinking as a father. As a mother I wouldnt want my daughter wearing sexy undies until she not a teenager. I cant stop what she does after that. I personaly dont think that a person should have any saying on them that they do not intend on showing off to people.

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    • Are you joking? Since when does someone’s salary or net worth have anything to do with whether or not they’re a good role model for a child. You must not have children or an understanding of how impressionable they are.

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    • Since when are Victoria secret models healthy??? they weigh 100 pds soaking wet! That is what society expects are young women to look like….MAKES ME SICK! Show some curvy woman

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    • Success need not be measured in dollars and cents or beauty.

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    • Dear Dan,
      It is ironic to me that you are using the ‘success’ of adult Victoria Secret models as an example of why the new line should be accepted.
      Self worth, for males or females, should not be measured by their net worth or your perception of their body image. Regardless of what they do with their money (charity, etc.) they are still making their money by selling sex and their professional actions are adding to the demand for sex slavery across this country.
      We should raise our daughters to value who they are and what choices they make and how they can change the world for the better.
      Wonder why VS isn’t making commercials and print ads for the new line? Because distributing video and photographs of scantily clad children with phrases like “Call Me” and “Wild Thing” on their private areas is suggestive and is illegal – that’s scratching the surface of child pornography.
      Thank you Evan for calling middle schoolers what they are – children – and not tweens. There is no rush to get them to the teen years. Our culture is pressuring them to grow up fast and not to wait to experience all that adult-hood holds, even when their social and emotional maturity and development is years behind what is needed to process those actions and to make wise choices.
      I have been a youth worker in a secular after school programs and church programs for almost 10 years and it makes my heart ache as the age of sexual awareness and experimentation is getting lower and lower. As well, peer-to-peer sexual abuse is becoming more prevalent.
      Is underwear solely to blame? Of course not. But it does not help the situation. Song of Solomon warns again and again to not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. Why start to awaken those emotions and desires in a twelve year old before it is appropriate for her to act on them?
      Parents have the money and should have better sense than to spend it that way. What, it’s the child’s allowance and they should get to spend it however they want? That’s parenting without purpose if you ask me {which no one did but I’m sharing my piece anyway}.

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    • What you see as a “simple phrase” a 13-yr old girl sees differently.

      This isn’t about VS angels, or ivy league schools. This is about targeting young, easily influenced, girls with sexually suggestive “simple phrases” on their underwear.

      We’re not being naive here – kids have sex. Kids choose to have sex (sometimes at an earlier age than parents would like) regardless of whether their underwear says “call me” or “fruit of the loom” …The issue here is that it’s hard enough coming in to your own as a teenage girl without feeling like you’re somehow less popular, less attractive, less desirable if you’re not suggestive in some way.

      Children are blank slates. They soak up every little bit of what they see and they use it to inform their decision, their personalities and the people they will become. Parents can preach all they like but if we’re not sheltering them from the real world (and we shouldn’t) they’re inevitably going to be subjected to things like this. We can only hope that Victoria’s Secret has enough integrity NOT to market things that hinder a CHILD from DEVELOPING (as they still are) a healthy sense of self worth.

      I can’t really speak from a male perspective, but as an adult female, I wouldn’t want my young son to see “feeling lucky?” thongs as a portrayal of the pre-teen girls around him.

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11. I agree with this father….we are raising a generation that is exposed to waaaayyyyy too much smut and filth in the media and on teh streets, lets keep the undergarments PG!

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12. I agree! I also firmly believe, espec as a Christian, that God has given us authority (yes, folks, AUTHORITY!!!) over our children & it is our God-given duty & responsibility to teach them the word of God as well as discernment. We are responsible for teaching them respect, morals, & modesty – not society. Just because they may see it on TV, the mall, at school, or their friends have it, does NOT mean we allow it. Remember your parental role! I’m not always popular nor am I their friend. I’m their mama – a much more important role. Trash in = trash out. We do not need to allow it into our homes which should be their safe haven. Much of what is out there is trash – in stores, on TV, at school, on the radio. While it cannot be completely avoided, we are on a continuing road to educate our kids. And it never ends. I view it as an opportunity for some discussion. Fill them w/the word, hold open conversations w/them, don’t shy away from “hot topics” (after all, better from you than someone else), and as someone mentioned above, pray continually over them & their peers. While I am certainly disheartened at what is out there, I am not discouraged. Satan’s pull is strong, but the last I saw, God is WAY stronger! Keep fighting the good fight – our children are worth it!

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    • Very well said. We tell our 9yr old daughter “we don’t mind being the mean parents”. God gave her to us to guide her in the way she should go.

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    • @Stephanie…I couldn’t agree w/You more!As Good old Dr.Phil says…during the parenting years,You aren’t their Friend…plenty of time to be Friend them when they have grown up, not before. Roles & Boundaries RULE!!! *God is Way stronger

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    • As an atheist, I echo your thoughts. Rubbish is everywhere, catering to the lowest common denominator and prayer won’t touch it, only informed buying decisions that make the product unprofitable will move a company. Not surprisingly, in my opinion, God has nothing to do with it, and I have, instead, raised my children to be critical thinkers. Rather than believe in an invisible man in the sky, and his necessary opposite, they believe in themselves and have been given the tools to see through the attempts at marketing to them….the needs of companies who are hawking their wares to convince them that they would be happier, hipper and more popular if only they would buy “X”. Interestingly, they don’t buy into religion either. Religion is selling a product that they can’t prove exists, but they promise if you part with enough money and be very, very good (whatever that entails) that when you die, you will get the product. And THAT is the greatest sales job ever!

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      • I should also state that these kids of mine are some of the most polite and gracious and responsible humans you will ever meet. Atheism does not promote a lack of morals and ethics, but rather insists that we take responsibility for ourselves and our situations by dismissing the idea of some kind of “divine plan”. They have learned that all the prayer in the world will not help you pass a test you haven’t prepared for. If it did, all children would be serial pray-ers!

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    • Well said Stephanie. Perhaps as the pastor looks at the larger picture, he sees that the numbers of practicing Christian families in America is diminishing. Consequently, the numbers of parents that understand or assert their God-given authority is also diminishing. This is often compounded by the fact that a significantly large number of households are fatherless households. Mothers that are trying to do too many jobs, wear too many hats, often find that most jobs do not get 100% from them because she never had 10,000% to give. Time & energy spent with and focused completely on giving children the love and attention they crave generally suffers. All people have a need to love and be loved, to be accepted, and to be cared for. When this area of a child’s life suffers, which happens more often than we like to think, they begin to seek to fulfill these needs outside of the home and family; perhaps to a greater extent in homes where there are daughters with no fathers, girls begin looking for male attention, the missing element elsewhere. This alone makes the risk of falling into the trap of becoming a sex object a likely alternative. When a society is filled with companies that bolster the false idea that love and beauty are a by-product of sex, they are victimizing the children that are the most in need of love, care, touch, and understanding. It is sad enough when companies use the weaknesses of individuals to add to their fortunes and increase profit margins. However, they are now looking to exploit the unmet needs of children for the sake of increasing their financial wealth. I would like to think from God’s perspective this would be considered a criminal act against His children.

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13. This Victoria’s Secret product line is only a symptom of the disease. The advertising and media that surround us preach a message that social status is defined by the car you drive, the neighborhood you live in, and the clothes you wear. It’s the gospel of our completely consumerist society, and it’s an integral part of the very objective of American society. It is the new American Dream. It is ever changing, and forever unattainable. Every day, good, moral, hardworking people go bankrupt chasing after it. It is the engine behind the American economy. But it is also amoral and its goal is to feed the greed of those who advertise to manipulate consumers. Like it or not, we all participate in this society, and are just as subject to it’s constraints and rules as anyone else. It defines where we hope to take our children on summer vacations, and the expectations of toys they hope to receive from us at Christmastime. Children have long been targets of this barrage. A Happy Meal does make them happy, after all. All of these things define children and adults in their various social strata throughout their lives. All the major media outlets have been advocating this for a very long time, now. It is not new. Consumerism permeates every facet of our society, and it often uses and includes sex in its messages. It is mammon, and just as Godless as International Communism. It is not utterly unavoidable, but to be quite blunt, the only way you can truly avoid it is to be prepared to “go Amish” and utterly reject it all by joining a new society that really doesn’t participate in the mainstream culture. Most people can’t or won’t do that, so it rages on, unchallenged.

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14. Some of you people must live under rocks. This is nopthing new and because a Reverand decided to post his letter on the internet you folks have become so irate that you think this is something new. News, our country isn’t failing because of underwear, if you honestly think that than maybe you should just stick to video games. It’s sad that kids have a line of “sexy” underwear for sure, I don’t deny that fact, but it’s been going on since the 90s. You folks are some delusional fucks…too bad you can’t go down the street and buy a clue, because your head has been planted up your ass for far too long.

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    • And too bad you have to resort to foul language and name calling to try to get a point across. Just because something has been “going on since the 90’s” doesn’t mean it’s right, or that it SHOULD go on. Marketing sexy lingerie to children is wrong, period. The fact that so many people seem to think it’s not a problem just makes it all that obvious how depraved our society has become. And resorting to insults because you disagree with someone is evidence of the lack of understanding of civil discourse.

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    • Due to your limited vocabulary and narrow-mindedness. I am LOL at your comment. Obviously you cannort read well: PLEASE REVIEW THE COMMENT POLICY

      Please stay positive with your comments. If your comment is rude, it gets deleted. If it is critical, please make it constructive. DUH!!

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    • “What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.” Billy Madison

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    • You make a valid point here, but your smutty language was unnecessary.
      Betty Jo

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    • This started long before the nineties! You’re the one that must’ve been living under a rock! Go buy yourself a clue, you jackass!

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    • No our country/ world isn’t failing just because of an advertisement on underwear ,that is just one which was mentioned. In case you can’t see our world is failing because of all the pleasures of the sinful nature( choices) we make and those choices a lot of the times effect other people in one way or another. I work in a school and I see the clothes some of the students wear , the way they talk to teachers, peers, etc. It is too bad a lot of people take this topic lightly or as a joke.I thank you Evan Dolive for speaking out for the children in our world of( feel good ,do it nature, society). I thank GOD you don’t live under a rock , your eyes are open and are full of wisdom

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15. As a parent of 4 boys and 3 girls, (19-35), I can tell you that parents of young children today have a hard road ahead of them. We chose to homeschool and while it is not a perfect solution, it was a blessing to our family as you can maintain a ‘sense of control’ much longer than if you send your kids to a school of any type. I do substitute teaching K-12 in a small rural school and it is so sad to see the sexualization of kids that has taken place. My 22 yr. old daughter is a highschool librarian and has been astounded by the way the students talk and act – both boys and girls. She has thanked her Dad and I over and over again for not sending her into this. While the type of undergarment one wears doesn’t really mean anything, the marketing VS is using to sell to younger and younger girls should make Moms and Dads rise up to say enough is enough. To the pastor I say, don’t assume your kids will be rebellious. We had one out of seven that rebelled in a minor way and found out the hard way that the world is not so nice. The Lord has been good to us and she has come back to see that God’s ways are right and is now a stay at home mom of two young children.

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16. http://victoriassecretvictoriassecret.tumblr.com/howvs

    I’m pretty sure that by looking at their spring break collection that it is an 80’s bright neon colored teen vibe. If girls buy the more risky undies in their size and flaunt them for sexual purposes you cannot blame VS anymore than you can blame Wal-Mart or Target or any other store. Wearing their underwear does mean they will be promiscuous anymore than saying if they eat with a fork they will be overweight. Are you going to blame a cafe for selling cake and sundaes for their gaining five pounds? Are you going to blame Cover Girl for them kissing a boy too young because they bought sparkling lip gloss? I don’t think so. The fact is we all have choices and the action behind the choice starts at home. Just like teaching our kids to drive safely and not drink while doing it. I wouldn’t blame Chevrolet or Budweiser for my kid making that choice.

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    • Oh and the link is requirements to be a VS model. I read a few posts that they look 15. Sheesh. My 9 year old looks 15. A twenty-something can too. Just sayin’

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    • maybe you should if they went down the wrong path. our influence does come from the world some what/ temptation is out there. In our sinful nature it is hard to refuse because we are human.You can only do so much at home to raise your kids and then they go out the door to school, etc. It does take a village to raise children so just pray that GOD go before them.

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17. Liberal lady, I am sorry, but if you really believe it is for women in their 20s/30s you are a blind fool. Look at the marketing!? No self respecting 20s/30s woman is going to be wearing that stuff unless she is trying to look like a teenager.
    What I wanted to post was a follow up to this…I have a boy. I am just as outraged because with us trying to help our son’s grow into awesome young men who want to stay pure for their wives this is not helping! This is hurting. Even if we teach our sons to respect women, etc, it has much less a chance at working if a friend who is a girl ends up showing off her booty with the word “sexy” on it or something. Why would anyone think this is a good idea!?

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18. To All: Comment all you like, but it is the PARENTS that BUY this junk for their kids. If something needs to be changed it is how parents ALLOW their childeren to wear this garbage. Stop blaming society, we are the parents, we are the ROLE MODELS. Stop being their friends, and be a PARENT!

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    • Well said, SLC!!! Pretty much what my post (below) said. But, much shorter. 🙂

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    • AMEN!!!

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    • Very well said!!! I believe that the majority of today’s problems with children exist because parents aren’t parenting, they are trying too hard to be their child’s friend. Most children have enough friends and really want and need a parent. Hopefully there will be time for a friendship when the parenting is done!!!

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    • I agree, but more importantly, as parents, we need to be talking about the underlying issues in ways that help our kids see the reasons for our decisions. Teaching critical thinking skills that help kids reason for themselves, coupled with what I call “parenting on purpose” gives kids a set of tools to make informed decisions, and helps prevent assimilation with normal teen stupidity. And while I certainly “friendly” with my kids when appropriate, they know where the buck stops.

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19. BTW, Yes, I am a parent of tween & teen girls who happen to attend public school. EEEGADS! I am living this! While not easy in the least, it is worth it knowing that we (their parents) have a serious duty to raise them & will someday have to answer for what we have done.

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20. Totally agree. However, the author’s daughters could choose LSU!

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21. I applaud your efforts in trying to better our children’s future from being objectified by marketing ploys! If we all treat our children with self worth we wouldn’t have half the issues in America that we have. We place sexuality so high, where we live, we forget how precious our self-esteem and pride are. I teach both my girls that they are worth more than to objectify their bodies and to trust in there knowledge of The Lord to guide them to making the proper decisions. When these ads are placed in front of them it makes it hard to sometimes think that they will in fact make the right decision, but I think that if we all communicate how important it is to love your self, even with the sexual obscurities, these kids will choose well.

    Thanks for helping in the cause of children’s self worth. I think that more people need to teach this and learn the actual meaning. Greed is what causes these outer issues and if we realize that family and Christ are the two to follow, we could overcome these obstacles.

    Sincerely

    Kelly

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    • So well said, Kelly.

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22. I totally agree that VS is wrong in their marketing and production of this line and totally agree with the original letter written above. However, when I was in high school (almost 20 years ago) and even in 8th grade girls were wearing VS thongs to school. I do have a daughter now, and, yes, I wish companies would stop marketing sex like they do, but the truth of the matter is that we, as responsible parents, have to teach what we feel is right (teaching WHAT is appropriate and inappropriate and WHY). This is not a day and age for passive parenting.

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23. Agree with sandy….

    first, when I was a teen, I loved the girls with over protective dads. They always had something to prove and that made it easier for me to get laid…

    second. This dad is probably upset for two reasons: his wife hates VS because, even in their clothes, she still looks like a hog . And. His daughter takes after mom…

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    • Wow. U shouldn’t flaunt ur intelligence so much. Not.

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    • @joemama – you are a “pig” and are the epitome of the boys out there who think they are men but are really just chauvinists who expect any female in their life to actually look like a VS model (apparently from birth). You are obviously not a parent and for you to make a comment about the author’s 3 year old daughter (let alone his wife) is only proof of what at a$$ you actually are.

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    • Wow. What a useless and ugly thing to contribute to this discussion. It is telling that this comment immediately attacked the attractiveness of a woman and a girl he has never met. And it is revealing that the author indicates that he joyfully took advantage of his female peers as a teen. It makes me wonder if he is the sort of man/boy who would view the words “Feeling Lucky” on a female person’s underwear as implied consent to sex regardless of her age, which is exactly the sort of problem this man fears for his daughter. This commenter is a troll and not a very nice human being, but he does nicely illustrate the problem of overly sexualized women and excessively privileged men.

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    • I hope that one day you have 5 daughters that you absolutely love dearly, if you are ever capable of love. And I hope that you feel the sheer terror of letting your daughters go out into a society filled with trolls like yourself, if you are ever capable of feeling.

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      • i think you should back off and grow up your just jealous.

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      • sorry my reply was to joemama

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    • i think you should back off you must be one of those creeps that think little girls should wear clothes that show off their bodys thats disgusting,

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24. @ Marlene..Read it again…He wasn’t in the store ..He saw the advertisement..Just because parents don’t like something and buy it dosent mean that out children wont find a way to get it Especially if they are tricked by advertisements for the product…Let me guess your panties say Juicy or call me on them?????

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25. I gave birth to a baby girl 3 months ago and I already worry about these things. Its so wonderful to hear about a father promoting these views. To me, she is the most beautiful girl in the world and I want her to think that without feeling the need to disrespect herself. Thank you so much for writing this.

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    • i agree with you!

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26. I am totally againt this. In my heart I believe sexual leanings like this leads to porn, rape and all kind of atrocities that puts thoughts in mens minds that prey on children.

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27. I just want to say that I have tears in my eyes after reading this. How lucky that little girl is to have a father like that! However, his point was certainly made and I have to agree every bit with him. Those years in your life you do everything you can to fit in. I knew a girl that slept with a guy the first day she met him to lose her virginity bc all.the rest of us had…but what girls don’t know is there is so much better things to be worrying about then being sex objects. I wish I had a dad like this one 🙂 very special. And Victoria secret, don’t make that line of clothing, and parents, don’t let ur daughters wear them.

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28. I could not agree more…everyone eventually learns about sex. The last thing adults should be doing is promoting it at this young age, especially in this “fashion.” Innocense lost too young can be very detrimental to a healthy, productive life.

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29. Pingback: Another Reason to Dislike Victoria’s Secret | Notes from Olivia

30. Unfortunately, I totally agree with the post above by John, if VS is all we had to worry about, we could cure it in a heartbeat. Just look at mainstream tv – it’s sickening. I’m no prude, but I’m an adult and can make informed decisions, however our young folks today are not capable to doing so. We are hit with “sex” from every angle today, and if only kids today were taught and treated like my generation was, they too could ignore all this crap – but there is no concience, respect, self esteem, and the list goes on and on. It’s sad to see the younger generations growing up as they are – they remind me of robots with devices stuck in their hands and no form of human conversation what so ever. Very sad. Reverand, you need to attack some higher up than VS.

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    • The fact that this isn’t the only problem – or even the biggest problem – isn’t a valid reason to bury your head in the sand. I’m quite sure the author realizes that teen sexualization didn’t start with this particular line of VS underwear. He’s still correct.

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31. WOW…..some of the comments I’m reading here have proven to me how irresponsible society is. Many of us parents never dealt with this crap in the 90’s so I’m not sure where THAT ignorant comment came from. Thanks to this PARENT for administering his 1st amendment right to educate us PARENTS on a subject that we haven’t dealt with. Please note that the keyword I used here is *PARENT*…..That’s a person who has their childs best interests at heart and who does NOT strive to be their childs friend. As a grandparent raising a grandaughter, this IS important to me and I’m so sorry that a few of you have your heads so far up your propoganda bootylicious butts that you feel the need to criticize those of us that do care how our daughters are raised and the morals that I’, sure are lacking in you.

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32. I do not shop in your store or watch your fashion shows for this reason, women are not sex objects. I cannot get a decent man, cause they all think we need to be dumb and sexy. Made just to please them. It sickens me women let themself be used and agree. Evan said it all.

    I believe that this new line “Bright Young Things” thwarts the efforts of empowering young women in this country. “Bright Young Things” gives off the message that women are sex objects. This new line promotes it at a dangerously young age.

    Tyvm. Rev. Evan Dolive

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33. Pingback: My Mommy Mind | My Wise Mom

34. Marketing campaigns like this are the reason why “To catch a Predator” on Dateline will NEVER run short of disgusting filthy men to catch. You put sexual clothes on a child, and they become a sexual object. There must be some parents on the board at VS, where are there morals? How do they sleep?

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    • I wonder about this sort of thing myself. Yes, there is money to be made here, but *should* it be? Why does it seem that no-one ever asks that question? That is not to say that parents shouldn’t be teaching their children about respect and to approach sex with respect also (boy and girls alike should be taught this), but if the Stubenville coverage is to be believed, many, many boys aren’t taught that girls are people with rights, and that consent is an unequivocal “yes” not the absence of a “no”. Printing sexual labels on tween’s underwear sends the *wrong* message about the sexual availability of our young girls, and it also sends the wrong message about their awareness of their sexuality and their ability to correctly navigate those sorts of relationships. If it is so easy to pressure them to wear things to be “in” with their peers, then it is probably also terrifyingly easy to pressure them into sexual behavior before they are ready or even want to do it. After all their underwear has consented for them right? I mean, you *let* the boy see your underwear and it said “Hot Stuff” on it so that’s permission right? Unfortunately it seems that too many boys think that way.

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35. I could not agree more! Our society is teaching young girls that they have to be sexy to be fashionable. It started with PINK printed across the butt. I would NEVER allow one of my daughters to wear that, or JUICY anywhere on their clothes. I am not a prude, I am a woman with a healthy sexual appetite…but I don’t need to display this, like a mood ring, on my clothing. An adult having cheeky undies is perfectly healthy! A 12 year old with lacy, itty bitty panties is obscene.
    Let’s let kids be kids.

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36. This is a great conversation. What I’d like to know is how do we get from talking about it to doing something about it? Where could we share these thoughts with VS? Who has any contacts with the media to produce a public outrage?

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    • onemillionmoms.com is a great place to let your and other moms’ voices be heard on what we don’t want our children seeing and hearing in the mainstream.

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      • Thank you, Dawn. I’m going to the sight now!

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37. Thank you for educating me on this terrible misguided marketing effort. I am in the marketing world, and feel sickened to learn about Victoria Secret’s efforts to capitalize on the tween/middle school girl market. However, we need to show VS that there ISN’T a market for this, and try and educate those girls and families who may think that this is cool and hip. I pray for families to find a solid moral compass to help them make good decisions and choices on what they do, who they associate with, what they wear. Our girls need to know that they teach others how to treat them based on their choices on clothing, actions etc. Thank you for sharing!

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38. See, this is where men have it wrong. Victoria’s Secret isn’t about men. Never has been. It’s about girls. And I hate to say it… But for a girl, what you have on underneath totally is a way for a girl to feel nice. Just because a girl might have undergarments that say “wild one”, doesn’t instantly turn her into some crazed boy crazy middle school slut. Values and morales are taught at home, not in the panty drawer. Girls like to feel pretty, independent, sexy.. And none of those three things are because they want to appeal that way to men. I say with the middle school line… Just take off the wording and leave it at that. And what most guys don’t know is that girls hit puberty as early as 10, and often times 11 or 12… So needing bras and what not becomes a necessity by 13. The bras in Target are no different than the ones at VS, except the price. And the little girl underwear at Walmart that says “spoiled brat” or “Boy toy” are no better. This guy is just worried he is going to see a campaign with pretty girls who make him feel all sorts of uncomfortable…

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    • You are an idiot!

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39. Thank you for writing this. I agree! It’s only a matter of time until they have VS runway shows w/ children modeling this sexy lingerie! We (my husband & I) work too hard to build my daughters up only to have VS work just as hard to tear then down! Yeah, it’s easy to NOT buy them, but the damage will already be done because my children are part of a culture that accepts & idolizes such things. So, I applaud the you & I intend to fight alongside to protect my children.

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40. I worry about my 6 year old daughter. I worry that my day to day efforts to make her value her inner beauty and intelligence will be undone by media and the influence of kids at school. These children are missing out on the their childhood by being encouraged to grow up faster than they need to. This is yet another example of an irresponsible company not encouraging women and girls to be beautiful (inside), but rather teaches them that sex is what gets them attention. Downright wrong to be making these garments for such young girls. Who is the moron at VS that came up with this idea?

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41. Perhaps a new line of wording could be created. Surely with all the people following this issue, catchy words and phrases could be created as alternatives for V.S. such as, “Sacred Love”, “Sexy Wisdom”, “Not Finished Yet”, “Better Life”. Anyway, my list needs great improvement, which is why many people can help.
    Then you try to get the list adopted by companies you want to affect. I am not saying they must stop using their lines and wording, I am saying they can also offer the alternatives, so young girls and boys can see ways to adopt thinking patterns that may help them through the next 10 years. It is about education and reminders, not stopping sex. Sex is going to happen, but educated sex makes a better living experience.

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42. You can’r stop the fast paced world, even in good ole’ Texas, but you can in your household, just have the parents don’t supply the panties and bra’s for the middle school girls, its that simple……duh. It’s usually the Mom’s who buy this crap for their daughters because they thinks its cute for theirs young cute daughters with slim bodies to wear, when the mom’s themselves are usually grossly fat lol.

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43. Our culture and where it is heading scares the crap out of me. I already have to explain to my 10 year old that it is not appropriate that she wear “pink” clothes from V.S. and why it is not appropriate that she wear words printed across her bottom. now this?

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    • I’m so right there with you. Thank GOD we are able to afford a small private school with most parents being like minded. I keep her very close. The family that prays and plays together, stays together. Stay strong in your parenting. I believe it will pay off in the long run no matter how hard it is now.

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44. Well put Rev Dolive.

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45. Let’s get to the truth. While I would agree with much that has been said already, the line “Bright Young Things” will target pedaphiles. We live in a culture that believes children are sexual objects. It is unfortunate, but true. Children are being displayed in many ways as sexual objects and we wonder why children are abducted, assaulted, raped, etc. This saddens me because parents and others who buy these lines of clothing are only supporting that idea in society. We need to wake up and see the results of such philosophy within our society.

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46. I live on an Island away from malls. Yesterday I went to a large mall and was astounded by the music in the stores and the sheer magnitude of messages being hurled at our young women today. I was with my middle school aged daughter. I had to steer her away from cheapness and toward a more wholesome look. Luckily she agreed. It’s sad. I was grateful to read your letter. We need a cultural shift, and it sure doesn’t seem to be lining up !!

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47. I agree with the writer of this ad. Such words on these little girl’s undergarments imply ugly thoughts. We are teaching them to think in a totally different direction, so why should we put thse garments on them? I have been a teacher in middle school and have heard these “children” sing lyrics to songs that are so distasteful and many of them had no idea what the lyrcs actually imply. So how far do we carry this? Surely VS can find more tasteful logos to print on these undergarments….if not, they need to find new talented workers….there are alot of them out there!

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48. Victoria Secret,
    We do not want our young girls wearing such things as thongs with call me! You need to learn to put pretty things out there for these gals, not trash! I hope you will think better of even starting this line!

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49. Evan, may I call you Evan? Personally I’d rather not refer to you as Reverend because to me it is like you think that title gives you an edge in the argument. Anyways though, your argument is completely invalid. You speak of wanting your daughter to decide on things such as, “Should I take calculus as a junior or a senior?” What does the color, the lace, or the cute (sometimes crude when out of context) saying on a person’s undergarments have to do with their life decisions? Take a look at the founders of VS, i’m sure those men didn’t wear grandpaw boxers, and look what they have made! Their stores’ income was 6.12 billion dollars in 2012. Sounds like they became pretty succesful despite the pattern on their boxers, briefs, and possibly man thongs. Now obviosly, that was a joke with a statistic thrown in, but you get the idea. It’s not the the sayings on the panties that matter, it’s the sayings and values of the person wearing them. Plus, they’re teenage girls. The panties are no more than just cute and colorful articles of under-clothing to them. What they learn about sex, or feeling sexy is all from T.V and school. And what, are you going to ban those as well? You can’t ban and boycott everything, so just parent around those things, and let the others slide. What to let slid you ask? Girls’ panties and bras.

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50. http://www.victoriassecret.com/pink/spring-break this collection is their spring break collection….and there’s nothing inappropriate about it. swimsuits and tshirts? stop sensationalizing things.

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    • I agree. It’s pretty cute stuff, but it’s from VS, so it must be sexual and bad hahaha. Lets hide our children away from this monstrosity that is Victoria’s Secret.

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      • Seriously. I don’t even shop there and I find this ridiculous. Now the people that have read this are spamming the VS facebook page when they are wildly misinformed. I’m not sure why people keep suggesting that being sexual = bad anyway. Women are sexual. It’s OKAY. They aren’t horrible people because of it. I’m also not sure why people have a problem with the name. YOUNG women doesn’t mean 12.

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