2,835 thoughts on “A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father”

1. I also work at Victoria’s Secret and I think this line would have been equally as successful without the sexual phrases, the young girls are attracted to the bright colors and prints, I don’t understand why the words were necessary…and most of the girls I work with feel the same way so just know that as a team we under no circumstances encourage the young girls to purchase inappropriate panties, I definitely respect this man for his point of view

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   • I agree! Most of us have our feelings about this, those of us with daughters fear the thoughts that may be encouraged by the Ever Famous Victoria’s Secret promoting these garments. Something that one person may have thought to be fun and profitable probably did not think about the other side. I applaud this Father for not only speaking up, but for being aware! As a woman who was once a young teen, I know what this can do to an imperfect body’s self esteem. As a Father, this man was once a young teen and knows what message he would have received from this line. I pray that I can steer my daughters away from society’s pressures and my son away from expecting the pressures on girls to be normal.

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   • I am a woman old enough to have seen many, many lines crossed over the years when it comes to advertisement as well as T.V. Once the line is crossed there is no going back . I’m glad that at my age I am not alone in thinking this is just TO MUCH! I see many in agreement on this issue. It’s to bad the ” MAD MEN” of the advertising world, and the group hired to promote this didn’t have a FAMILY MAN OR WOMAN ON THE TEAM!!!! P.S. I Have two preteen granddaughters and have been shopping at JUSTICE for them for the last few years… Yes, there are things I probably think cross the line a touch, but for the most part their advertising and stores do represent the soft side of what’s trendy for young girls… Cute, glitzy, and flash….but still appropriate for the Tweens…. Grandmother & great grandmother!!!!

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   • I agree with Rev. Dolive….kids are having sex in elementary school!!! Why????? because Parents have not taken a stand to protect their children during those years when they are still growing mentally and physically! Rev. Dolive is thinking about his childs future which all parents should be doing and are not!! There are so many more important things to be doing and thinking about! Why would any girl or woman want “call me” on the front of their underware? “Feeling Lucky or Wild” on the back of your clothing is an open invitation to men and boys of all ages that you are interested in sex! Are you trying to have sex early to get pregnant or come down with a disease from sexual contact by having sex for fun? Save your self for the man you want to marry…you will find him sometime after you graduate from High School or college! Study and learn all that you can now; plan for your future;attend college and/or work toward scholarships; most off all enjoy your age, whatever it may be. Life does pass you by quicker that you could ever expect. The most important focus you should have, right now…today, is to put God first in your life. He is your father in heaven and you are his child. Make Him proud and do the right thing every time.

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2. The only real way to stop this is to be that over bearing parent. Eventually Walmart underwear will look like that. Monitor where your child buys underwear. Not defending this act in the least bit, but it’s a struggling economy and Victoria’s Secret sells sexy panties, bottom line. Some parents don’t care what their children wear and they turn a dead ear and a blind eye to it. This is no different than them selling sexy bras, your daughter could just as easily own one of those. Just because it doesn’t have words on it, you don’t think a boy would be attracted to it. Monitor your child. She may hate it while she is young but the values you and only you can raise your child with will determine that, not just society. Keep up your attempts but it’s 2013, just make sure you’re doing your part at home and she will thank you when she is older and it all makes sense.

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   • As another bash toward VS, they caused me terrible back pain and self esteem issues for years; by sizing me for a bra, lying to me about my band size (telling me I was much bigger than I am) and shoving me into the biggest cup size they had. Obviously just to make a sale! This was before I learned that cup size goes beyond DD. All of the employees that “sized” me over the years, either need to be properly educated in the art of sizing women for bras. Or have the courtesy to say I’m sorry, we don’t carry your size here.

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   • The objection is the age group. Peer pressure is very strong and THAT is the way a young girl is going to define herself. AT 13 or even 12 (some so very aware at even 10) it becomes very highly competitive for recognition as an individual. Of course it depends a lot on the parents but we are a very mobile society now and no longer a cloistered style neighborhood of kids, families, that grow up marrying the people we have known and grown with our entire lives. It is all changed and has become very competitive. I don’t care about commerce and the need to make more and more money; a bigger need is the obligation we have to all our children. We do not need to contribute to the moral breakdown by targeting the impressionable young. Rethink this VS.

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3. I don’t know about every other middle schooler when I was in school, but the last thing on my mind was if a boy was going to see my bra or panties… it was more of a “I’m becoming a young lady” and can actually shop somewhere that offers something other then a training bra… Victoria’s Secret isn’t the only store that has undies like that… it is what’s trending … so any store is going to have it, you just have to have faith that you raised your child to know right from wrong. If they aren’t buying from VS, they will just buy them somewhere else, unless you plan on taking on the whole clothing corp.

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4. It is highly inappropriate to sexualise children’s underwear – as opposed to making them graceful and pretty. We already live in an over-sexualised society and children have their childhood taken away from them very fast. i thoroughly sympathise with this father’s point of view. Some people have made economic arguments to justify the sexualised underwear. This is pathetic. If you have to undermine the moral foundations of society to make money, it isn’t worth making that money and it could be made in some better way. That’s an argument that justifies social breakdown and amorality.

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   • @Arjun L Sen… “t is highly inappropriate to sexualise children’s underwear – as opposed to making them graceful and pretty. We already live in an over-sexualised society”

     I completely agree with you Arjun! But sadly clothing manufacturer’s have been ‘sexualizing’ children in their ads for a LONG time now. Just look at how the little girls (and I’m talking LITTLE girls) are so often provocatively posed in those ads. It’s DISGUSTING! And people act so shocked when they hear of little girls (and boys!) being abducted and used in porn or sold as sexual slaves. Our society has become SO base and morally corrupted that I honestly believe that most parents don’t even LOOK at the ads with a ‘critical, concerned’ eye. And that is FRIGHTENING when I think of the PERVERTS in this same society that may see MY precious grand children walking down a street or in a school yard, etc. It’s something that should make ALL parents and grand parents VERY worried!

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5. What Big Companies will do for Money is destroying what Parents try and teach their kids,,,I wonder if the Guy/Ladie that thought of this have kids of there own,,,Real shame,,,You can bet your Magazine will be staying right where it is from this Father…In the Magazine stand,,,wouldn’t pay a black cent ,,wouldn’t take it if it was FREE,,,Wow,, Maddening,,Who ever thought of this should be out the door,,,

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6. What surprises me with all of this, is that we always fight for equality and better treatment of women, and equal chances at work and life. but at the same time, we find big stores which have a huge influence on our society, promoting the degrading of young women and making them a product that can be easily sold for the correct price.
   everything in our society, and not just Victoria Secret, uses women and their body as a commodity and as a tool to get to their required sale.

   Yes women want and need to feel pretty and sexy in every way, but no need to give the wrong impression to younger girls. why do we need to encourage our daughters to get knocked up and then we carry the burden of support, not one kid but two??!

   It would be nice to have a mother daughter store for added quality time, but please don’t make my daughter wear the same underwear i wear! she should worry about school and how to do well in life in general, and not worry about whether she will be accepted or judged or whether she fits in or not because of he underwear. peer pressure is horrible and plays a major role in our society!

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   • Sam, I agree with much of what you say.
     I do have a minor issue with “Women want and need to feel pretty and sexy in every way.” I don’t need to feel pretty and sexy when I’m gardening, or when I’m walking on the beach, or hiking in the forest, or driving my car (ok, sometimes when I’m driving my car). I don’t need to feel pretty or sexy when I’m going to the doctor’s office, or ordering lunch at a restaurant, or sitting in church listening to a sermon. Primarily I want to feel pretty and sexy at certain times with my husband, because I love him and want to be appealing to him.
     What I do need to feel is:
     1. safe from being sexually victimized or discriminated against
     2. that i am being the best mom i can be
     3. smart, capable and creative
     4. funny and charming

     None of these things have anything to do with underpants. And I certainly don’t want my young daughter to get the idea that her self-worth comes from her sexual attractiveness/availability. On this we totally agree!

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     • EXACTLY. All of this.
       And to that father: just keep doing what you’re doing, please.

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7. Still waiting for a defense against the “Don’t Buy It” truism. Oh, that’s right. There isn’t one.

   I find this as tasteless as the next guy, but my solution’s simple: I won’t be buying my daughter any of this crap.

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   • I agree with you, but our society uses a lack of complaint as a sign of approval or at least ambivalence. So while my primary response to things I don’t like is to not consume it, an appropriate secondary response it to inform the manufacturer that I am not consuming it and why. Doing so in a public forum simply allows for input from others. The manufacturer can then make a decision about how his/her business will be affected by the product.

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8. I’m 21-years-old and people are taking this too far. First of all, it’s actually marketed towards 18-20 somethings, not middle school aged girls. Secondly, I can’t believe that people are blaming Victoria’s Secret for girls wanting to grow-up too fast, a lack of self-worth, and for the objectification of women. Did you ever think that your daughter lacks self-worth because she might hear mommy make self-deprecating comments all the time? Or that she wants to grow-up fast so she can discover sexuality, etc. because her parents might not be open about it? I have been a part-time nanny for 4 years and I have educators in the family, and we will all tell you it’s the parents 99% of the time. If you shame sexuality and treat sex as taboo, you’re practically inviting your kid to learn everything from the media. You, as a parent, need to lead by example and be open with your children without shutting them down. You’re their role models. If you see pretty underwear as strictly a sexual thing, your kid will too.
   As for Victoria’s Secret, I’ve been wearing their undergarments for years (I’m more of an aerie girl now, though). I see nothing wrong with the company because:
   1. They are a LINGERIE RETAILER. People talk about seeing half-naked models in their commercials like their The Gap or something. AND If you see a woman in a bikini/bra+undies and instantly think sex, YOU’RE objectifying her. Think breasts and breast-feeding. They serve a function that’s not really sex-related, but are treated that way. Yes, VS sells some stuff for the bedroom, but it doesn’t have to be seen that way with everything they sell, AKA the PINK line.
   2. People say their (or any) models aren’t “real” women. That’s bull. Women come in all shapes and sizes, even in a size 00 and/or with DD’s! Do you think that naturally small girls appreciate being called “unreal” and “disordered”. That’s shameful and it’s the same as calling someone who isn’t a size 00 overweight. I would add, though, VS models are athletic as opposed to just skinny type models. Those ladies work hard and are very healthy. I would agree that it sucks that photo shop and only one body-type are used, but it’s more the modeling industry.
   3. Their stuff is cute and high quality, especially the PINK line that’s being discussed, which is appropriate for high-school aged girls. Who doesn’t want cute, quality undergarments? There is nothing wrong with finding a bra, underwear, or straight-up lingerie empowering. In fact, more women should be empowered by their bodies and sexuality. Does that mean go have tons of sex? No (but If you do, as long as you’re mature enough and both parties are consenting, go for it!), it means be confident and love yourself for the way that you are. Wearing your favorite clothes, whether it’s polka-dotted underwear that nobody sees, or an floral blouse are huge confidence boosters to a lot of people.

   Stop telling your daughter she can’t wear certain undergarments because your afraid that she’s only wearing it to engage a boy, or whatever reason you may have. Have some confidence in her. If you raise her as the young lady you want her to be, there shouldn’t be a problem. God forbid the kid doesn’t want to wear her period stained Hanes the rest of her life .

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   • The PINK line and only the PINK line is marketed towards younger women. PINK is a higher quality (and cuter IMO) version of what you would find in the juniors section at your average department store. It’s not the grown up VS. It’s in the front section of every store too, so it’s not like you have to wade through corsets and to find some age-appropriate underwear for your teen. Even if they did, I’m doubt seeing some crotch-less panties would make your teen corrupt.

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   • You really hit it on the head with this one! Get ’em!

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   • I am replying to your comment because you’ve offered an intelligent response to this article. However, I think you’re wrong. I am all for women’s sexual empowerment. I attended a very sexually repressive church in high school and it took years to undo the shame I felt about my body and sexuality. I should not have been made to feel guilty for purchasing a red bra because it made me feel beautiful but I was. So I appreciate your desire to call into question environments and attitudes that tend to shame women for loving their bodies or for feeling sexy and beautiful. But I don’t think that’s what this man is doing. He is not condemning lingerie that is sexy or beautiful. He is condemning lingerie that sexualizes young girls in ways that are demeaning.

     First, you’re wrong to say that this line is geared towards 18-20 year-olds. Victoria’s Secret is attempting to target a younger customer demographic that has been under-represented. That would be wonderful if they were producing pretty, beautiful, or even sexy lingerie. But they’re producing lingerie with written messages that demean women’s bodies. The author of the article is condemning the phrases connected with this lingerie line more than the cuts of the panties.

     Phrases like “call me” and “feeling lucky?” send messages to women that they are only sexy and beautiful insofar as men see them as such. Those phrases are directed outward, to be read by a man (or woman) who is surveying the girl’s body. Those phrases tell girls that their sexuality, their beauty, is not self-determined but dependent on the opinions of another.

     In addition, these panties reduce young women to sex objects. There is a difference between being sexual and being a sex object. This lingerie line uses phrases that encourage objectification and tell young girls that their value is tied up in their level of sexual attraction.For example, the phrase “call me” emblazoned on panties suggests that the young woman’s ability to attract the opposite sex is dependent upon the sexiness of her butt, not her intellect, or sense of humor, or kindness towards the unloved, or passion for justice. That pisses me off. And I’m glad that this father is pissed off on behalf of his daughter and all young women who deserve so much better.

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     • Laura, like most liberals you’re over-thinking things. First off, you need to get real and accept the facts. Nobody cares about how you feel. I repeat. NOBODY CARES HOW YOU FEEL! And from your post, I’ll tell you what you feel. 1) You feel that Men are the enemy and all they do is treat you like a piece of meat. FALSE. Some Men are visual creatures and are attracted to visually beautiful women. Others are attracted to personality. And we all have the right to choose how we feel about women. 2) You feel that sex is a sin. You may disagree, but it’s apparent. You think women get REDUCED to sex objects. You think a couple words DEMEAN women’s bodies. Quite the contrary. Some women love being viewed as sex objects. They feel validated by the attention they get and are not ashamed to flaunt what they have. Women who view that as a negative generally don’t get that kind of attention. 3) Whatever Victoria’s Secret markets and produces is their prerogative. If you don’t like it, don’t buy it. You can complain about it, but always remember the first sentence I wrote in captions above. Those who do buy it obviously enjoy it. So again, who cares? Haven’t you noticed the father who wrote this letter expressed how HE feels and completely disregards how anyone else feels? It’s selfish to think that the world should cater to you.

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     • Johnny, I know this post is now long outdated, but I sincerely hope you read this. First of all, you’re rude. It’s unattractive. I suggest you learn how to communicate better in public forums because otherwise, nobody is going to listen to you.

       Alright, now onto your comment. Amusingly, it starts like this: “like most liberals, you’re over-thinking things.” Wow, thank you for accusing me of being a thinking person. That really stings.

       Secondly, I didn’t express how I feel, I expressed what I think, which is the exact purpose of public forums. Obviously, judging by the responses to my comment, there are those out there who do care about what I think because, unlike you, I’m able to frame my thoughts in a way that’s constructive.

       Fourth, what a valiant attempt at telling me how I feel. Sadly, you were wrong on all accounts. 1. I do not think that men are the enemy. I have wonderful, life-giving relationships with the men in my life and I value their sexuality. If I hated men, why would I commend the man who wrote this letter? I do, however, feel that all persons have responsibilities regarding the ways that they conduct themselves sexually and otherwise. I know, it’s crazy. Men and women are both deserving of respect and so men and women are both responsible to cultivate thoughts and actions which promote respect of the opposite gender. 2. I do not think that sex is a sin. Sex is one of the most beautiful acts within human capacities. I am currently applying to graduate schools with the hopes of achieving a masters in human sexuality. I think sex is so beautiful and so important, in fact, that I believe in sexual ethics. The horror! Also, no woman likes to be viewed as a sex object. As I said, there is a difference between being perceived as sexy and being perceived as a sex object. I know it’s hard to believe that a liberal feminist Christian could be sexy, but I am. And I do receive sexual attention. Like most women, there is sexual attention that I appreciate and there is attention I do not. I appreciate being seen as sexual. I do not appreciate being seen as merely sexual. 3. I will not buy Victoria’s Secret products. Thank you for that suggestion. I, for one, feel that it’s best to discuss why I am making that choice and to invite others into a conversation about why or why not such a choice may be warranted. I’m glad that the father who wrote this letter expressed his opinion. He was in no way eclipsing the opinions of others. He wrote a letter expressing his outrage with a company and then invited others to consider his letter and write/think about it. You, on the other hand, have used insulting language in order to marginalize those with whom you do not agree. That, my friend, is unfair.

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     • I just realized that I wrote “secondly” and then “fourth”. That should read “third”.

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     • Johnny you far off base with your comment!

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     • Hey Laura, and to the guy who responded to her it wouldn’t let me reply to your post which is really what I wanted to do. I completely agree with you, Laura. I think the biggest issue that no one has mentioned as much is what this objectification of women and making us purely sexual objects leads to. It leads to an increase in rape victims, it leads to an increase in sexual harassment, and it leads to an increase in I’m not good enough. For critics of this argument, this has been proven in many different studies. Go look it up. For example, one thing that has been getting major publicity right now is how the sexualization of Native American women has led to extremely high rape rates in these communities. Name one picture you have seen, besides maybe an actual depiction of Sacagawea, that did not portray Native American woman as a sexual object. Better yet lets look at what objectifying woman is doing to our youth (considering this is what Victoria Secret is aiming their line at). I’m sure most of you are familiar with the Stubenville, Ohio rape that just occurred a few weeks ago. Johnny you are right to say that men often are visual. It is our job as women to, in my opinion, not flaunt it. However, just because a girl flaunts it does not mean she is available for the picking. Ask any guy who sees a women with big boobs and a low cut shirt if he thinks she’s not available. More than not you will get an answer that says yes, she is. This is somehow leading to an entitlement among men. I’m not sure where the disconnect is but I agree that it is somewhere in the way our society has made sex not a big thing. If its no big deal to have sex or advertise sex to a 13 year old girl, then why is it a big deal to force a girl to have sex, or have sex with a girl when she can’t say yes? She didn’t say no, so apparently its ok, right? This doesn’t mean that men are the enemy. They aren’t. In fact, if father’s taught their sons that women were more than objects for sex, boys would treat girls that way. They are a huge part of the solution to this problem. It seems really easy to say that a pair of panties a 13 year old girl is wearing probably isn’t going to all the sudden lead to her imminent rape, or objectification, or harassment. The issue that I think was trying to be addressed is not that, its the bigger picture. How is the way media, sales, and advertisements portray women contributing to the rise in the objectification and sexualization of woman and the sense of entitlement we see among the population? One more thing Johnny, maybe coming from a man’s perspective you think woman find it compelling and nice to be seen as a sex object, but I disagree. Ask any women who has ever had a man force himself on her if she feels confident, sexy, and bold? No, not every man who calls a women sexy, or tells her how much he wants to sleep with her is going to rape a women, but what you are talking about, the action of that objectification and sexualization of women is rape. The last thing I want to say to you Johnny, on behalf of Lauren, just because a women doesn’t find it empowering to be made a sex symbol doesn’t mean she isn’t beautiful, sexy, and confident, or ever been told these things because I’m sure Lauren is. I know I am. I’m not afraid to say it, however the only man who is going to see that in my clothing choice is my husband.

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   • I agree with this father! I am inclined to believe that the generalized public is now “sexualized” at a very young age & it is getting to be younger & younger! Again, once you throw God out of a culture,there are fewer & fewer boundaries! But, you are right…the parents are a large portion in the influence in the kids! Unfortunately,peer pressure is a harsh reality & often overrides even common sense! Prohibiting products to encourage sexualizing the youth,is definitely a help towards a innocent childhood!

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   • elisabeth, ur letter makes more sense than all the rest. good advice. father of 1boy & 2 daughters who n turn have produced 4 granddaughters & 2 grandsons.

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   • I absolutely agree with all of the above! I am also a nanny. Have been for six years and the underwear a girl wears is not what causes the problem or promotes sexual activity. The influences around her are.

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     • Tiny correction i agree with what Elisabeth said.

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   • @Elisabeth. I could not have expressed it better. I am a 35 year old parent of a beautiful 3 year old angel. Thank you for bringing enlightened reason in all this issue.
     “it’s the parents 99% of the time. If you shame sexuality and treat sex as taboo, you’re practically inviting your kid to learn everything from the media. You, as a parent, need to lead by example and be open with your children without shutting them down. You’re their role models. If you see pretty underwear as strictly a sexual thing, your kid will too.”
     Our kids are testing and evaluating us 24/7. The great challenge as parents is to trust our children, this will help their own confidence establish in them. Why do we always try to blame others!?
     So dear Rev.Evan, keep on spending that quality time with your child even more everyday, stop worrying about what others do, be more concerned about yourself, and stop chasing the devil around, just like James said in the bible, right?
     Gudonya Elisabeth!

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     • I dunno, I don’t treat sex as a taboo topic with my children. We speak about it openly and frankly and in mixed company sometimes at the dinner table, which I know would have my grandparents turning over in their graves… BUT, I would rather my children hear it from me and get the straight up truth so that they are prepared for the decisions that THEY will make, because make no mistakes about it, if they want to engage in risky behaviors, they will, and unless you treat them like prisoners, they will find an opportunity to conduct risky behaviors. As a parent, it is my job to make it more difficult for them to accomplish those risky behaviors. For my 15 yo, if he wants to go to a movie with his buddies or to the mall with friends, we always ask which parent will be there. Not drop them off and pick them up, but be at the mall while they are at the mall and at least at the same movie theater, even if they don’t see the same movie. We need names of the parents, need to meet the parents, need phone numbers and need to know what time they are leaving and what time they will be back. Our children know not even to come and ask permission to go anywhere without this information because the answer will be flat out “no” if we don’t have it. If any of children are going to a friend’s house, they are not allowed to go if a parent is not there. And to get back to the article, if my 13 yo went to the mall with her friend and their parent (because that is the only way the child would be anywhere without me) and came home with inappropriate clothing or underwear, they would be returned or go in the garbage. Period. When I am shopping with my child, I only allow age appropriate. I will allow them to “push the envelope” in non-sexual ways, maybe get something a little trend-setting, but not overboard so that they are allowed to feel that sense of fitting in, but not to the point that it becomes their focus. Everything in life is about balance. My job is to be a parent and guide… I realize that I cannot forever dictate what my child does, I have to allow them to start making decisions on their own so when they grow up and move out, they don’t go completely wild with sudden freedom. We allow our children to go out and experience lots of things, with adult supervision, in the hopes that when there is no adult supervision, they will make appropriate and morally right choices.

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   • As a 42 year old mother of 4, including 2 TEENAGE BOYS, I find your comments typical for a 21 year old woman. Although well written, I’m afraid your ideas lack insight into the young male soul, the implications of early sexual activity and what true confidence really is. I suggest that you print out your comments, put it in a time capsule and re-read it in about 20 years. You may be very surprised at your own reaction.

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     • Well said Holly!!!!!!! I am a mother of 3 ages 7,9 and 17 and I own and run a daycare, if you are going to comment on such an important issue it is better to have some experience in children from ages 3-4 all the way up to 16-17. to actually know how and what they think of sexuality and the effect it has on them every day .. at home, school, bus, tv, with friends, internet, shopping mall and much much more and I do realize how important it is for parents to be open and correct in informing their children about sex and sexuality but the fact is some parents don`t and it is a shame that the WORLD is where most children have to look for awncers ….

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     • I agree with Holly. Also she should open that time capsule After having children who are teens.

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   • I agree with Elisabeth. Treating lingerie as a dangerous thing only makes young girls unsure of themselves.
     I’ve worn VS since I was about 18 and know that they sell MUCH more than lingerie — Everything from running socks to eyeliner and pant suits. They have garments that appeal to women of all ages from teenagers (their PINK line) to even grandmothers (A full range of cotton/full coverage/modest styles from panties to pajamas).
     They’re also a company that doesn’t employ young girls to do their modeling. Several of their current runway and catalog models are in their 30s!
     Children should never be sexualized but if younger girls are taught that ‘sexy’ underwear will make them sluts then you’ve already objectified them before they even know what that word means.
     Most little girls love anything pink or covered with flowers and unless you hand them a Victoria’s Secret catalog I think they’ll be content shopping for Cinderella covered cotton undies in the girls department at Sears until they know otherwise.

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9. This culture is reaching out to young students and the youth in such negative ways, especially women. It is not the physical, outward appearance that matters but the heart and the motivation of what one is doing. I saw this through out high school and still am in college and it really is shameful to see. But elementary? Besides making a profit, which is a ridiculous reason, what led to this idea to promote to under 13 years of age girls? It is shameful. The last we need is elementary school children modeling in underwear for commercials and magazines.

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10. Dad, you are so absolutely right … I’m an old woman but an old hippie who still believes in boycotting. STOP BUYING THEIR PRODUCTS PEOPLE! Hit them in the bank account and maybe they will begin to understand that making women and now girls sex objects for their own profit is not necessary to do business. Their clothing line does not need this kind of advertising to sell … most advertising in our country uses some kind of sexual innuendo to sell their product. It’s become not only sickening but extremely dangerous for women! A trend toward responsible advertising would be appreciated by most Americans and could be accomplished by refusing to buy products from companies who use this type of advertising.

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11. This article is not true!! This Bright Young Thing is part of their PINK spring collection that they do every year and it is targeted towards 18-22 year old and not 15 – 17 years old. Please go to the source to get your information next time before inaccurately judging others. Here is the Business Insider article – http://www.businessinsider.com/victorias-secrets-pink-line-successes-2013-2

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12. Pingback: A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father | Two Worlds

13. Pingback: A response to A Letter to Victoria’s Secret From a Father | I Still Find It So Hard...

14. You might be interested in this response:

    http://wp.me/p2iISl-DM

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15. I agree with everyone’s expressions of horror at the labeling on the underwear. I have two adult daughters. When they matured to an appropriate age VS was a great mom daughter outing for a fitted comfortable bra that didn’t look like a Walmart special (granny bra). The bra was for support as well as gracefulness. Putting degrading comments on the underwear should be removed.
    As a retired teacher, I saw special education girls wearing thong underwear to school. These girls doesn’t understand the objectifying that can occur that society creates as sexuality. Special ed or not, thongs are inappropriate for young girls and the parents should not purchase them in the first place peer pressure or not, they are the parent.

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16. @Arjun L Sen… “It is highly inappropriate to sexualise children’s underwear – as opposed to making them graceful and pretty. We already live in an over-sexualised society”

    I completely agree with you Arjun! But sadly clothing manufacturer’s have been ‘sexualizing’ children in their ads for a LONG time now. Just look at how the little girls (and I’m talking LITTLE girls) are so often provocatively posed in those ads. It’s DISGUSTING! And people act so shocked when they hear of little girls (and boys!) being abducted and used in porn or sold as sexual slaves. Our society has become SO base and morally corrupted that I honestly believe that most parents don’t even LOOK at the ads with a ‘critical, concerned’ eye. And that is FRIGHTENING when I think of the PERVERTS in this same society that may see MY precious grand children walking down a street or in a school yard, etc. It’s something that should make ALL parents and grand parents VERY worried!

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17. I haven’t read all the comments, so I apologize if I am repeating this idea. VS is reaching out to the middle school girls because they are looking to bait & catch their future customers. If they can get you at 12 or 13 y.o. to buy your underwear at their store, then they will have you hooked & then you will most likely continue to by your underwear there well into adulthood. So, therefore, they insure that they have long term customers.
    Everyone continues to buy into the theory that children are little adults. They can make their own decisions. Oh brother, give me a break. Children are not little adults, they are children. Once we understand that, then they will benefit from it. We can teach them that they may be able to decide what flavor of ice cream they want, but that wearing lacy underwear with “feeling lucky” on it at 12 or 13, is not a choice that they get to make.
    VS is trying to insure their future. But we need to say to them, we don’t want our daughters to feel, that if they aren’t wearing lacy underwear in their prepubescent years then they aren’t pretty enough or sexy (which they shouldn’t be in middle school!!). VS needs to know that they are treading is on shaky ground. Meaning that WE parents still control the spending in regards to our daughter’s underwear. If VS doesn’t “clean up” the underwear that they are trying to sell our daughters, then we will just by our daughters’ underwear elsewhere. It’s just that simple. If you want our business, then sell us something that we are interested in buying. It’s all dollars & cents.
    We have to raise our daughters to understand that is “Hollywood” & the fashion industry make everything about looks; and that they (our daughters) are more than just looks. Don’t people/adults/parents see what is going on in this world? Our girls think that if their body & face aren’t perfect, then they are worthless. Our daughters’ are plagued with eating disorders, breast implants & other plastic surgeries. WTH? They need to know that they are valued for themselves. No matter what they look like. We need to tell these companies that we don’t want what they are selling!!! Sorry for the rant.

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18. I am so over companies and the media of all forms using sex to sell absolutely everything. Even with every sitcom, when they are out of ideas for an episode they will always revert to divorce, sex scandal, or disaster to keep the episodes running. Todays children grow up thinking that these things are the norm when really they are only the norm for sitcoms and serials that have long since run out of ideas for the season. Sex has always been there but now that it is more widely accepted in all forms then young children and teenagers are exposed to it’s many varieties in all forms. Thus making protecting our childs childhood way more difficult. Everybody protesting agains sex themes and real life violence (not laurel and hardy or the cyotee and road runner) in the media and advertising is really the only up to us to get the message across.

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19. I agree that these lines will target young girls in the wrong way. It will make them look more like objects. However, places like Victoria’s Secret values money over anything and will launch the line. It is up to us as parents to protect our children and install values that will make us proud and fearless. I will never question my little girls because I know that I will have raised them to feel beautiful and powerful without needing sexy and revealing underwear.

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    • Plus this will only attract child molesters. We struggle everyday to protect our children from that kind of harm and vs is publically helping the criminals by making children appear as adults.

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20. Do not conform to the ways of this world….

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21. It is simple, i thought VS had more class than that, they always came across to me as a brand that appealed to the discerning customer.

    it seems like what some of you have assumed is correct, that they are selling their soul for the quick buck, slow economy and all.

    hope they know how much this dilutes their brand…

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22. Any Dad with such awareness and concern about this issue will likely raise a young woman who emulates what he will undoubtedly teach her. Kudos to you “Dad” (and all parents like you), for taking a stand! As a daughter, I would be proud to grow up and read such a letter written by my father. Hopefully that little girl will grow up with motivation to respect and honor herself the way her father does!

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23. The only way to stop this is to STOP BUYING Victoria’s Secret merchandise. If they don’t have a supporting customer base, they cannot market this type of clothing to young girls. They are counting on the fact that mommies are the number role models for girls. Thank you Rev. Dolive for your well-written words. I totally support you.

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24. What if we were to offer slogans of our own in place of the sexualized ones? What if we suggested to Victoria’s Secret that they run a contest for catchy, clever and empowering (not sexualizing) slogans to put on the underwear — or cute logos or characters that came from the buying public instead of multimillion dollar corporations? Hey, Victoria’s Secret, are you up to that challenge?

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25. “…no matter what underwear she is wearing it does not define her.” But isn’t that exactly what you’re doing?

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26. Im 19 y.o. when i was 13-14 i remember always getting with a bunch of a friends and going to victorias secret and buying matching lace thongs and booty shorts that would say things like juicy and stuff across the butt. Since ive had a child and im plus size now…ive noticed that they have nothing in a plus size i cant even go in there to buy a bra. Its obvious its targeted at skinny/young girls that arent as gifted on the chest as some of us.

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27. I won’t put any money into Victoria’s Secret because their marketing skills on Television and in magazines are not appropriate. Since they are now selling inappropriate underclothing to the “sweet and innocent” children, I rest my case.

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28. I am from a concervative and religious country. Passing at a mall, I noticed young students as young as maybe on their six grade up to 2nd year high school at age of maybe 11 to 13 in a sexy ligery store looking at thongs and sexy underwares. When I repass the same store, I again noticed all them holding a signature small bag of the purchases. We have seen already including in FB and young actresses or young stars victimized by posing photos of such and becomming victims. Some says we are already on our modern times, I believe our adult innovators should rethink of their purposes and objectives. They or their children might be in the situations they call freedom and boom where are you as parents. I salute the author. . . . . I am a father of 3 sons, 2 have their girlfriends already (aged 21 and 16 yrs old boys). I see to it to remind them of respect to the opposite sex as for them to always remember they too have a mother and maybe soon may also have daugthers of their own in the future. Boys can be or the materials adults displays and innovates for the young children. . . .wake up people.

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    • Very true. while grownups make decisions for themselves, they need to make better choices not to expose impressionable children to grownup things. Thanks for taking care of that yourself in your own family. Your children know you as a responsible father.

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29. I felt sick reading that the slogan “feeling lucky” would be written on a young girl’s underwear. There is no question what it is advertising and it is in no way ok. If anyone other than a corporation was trying to get girls to wear these they would be arrested for sexual misconduct. I applaud this father for standing up and saying no and do not think that the argument, “well it’s inevitable” is valid. It is only inevitable if as a society we allow it to be. Yes they can buy lacy and revealing garments already and this may not seem very different to some, but it is. Words are powerful and these tell these girls that the way to find self worth is to think of yourselves as sex objects. Tease the boys a little, make them think you just might give it up if the boy is “lucky” just to get attention. We wonder why we are dealing with rises in teen pregnancy and rape? No girl is ever responsible for sexual assault because of her clothing, but come on. Can we as a culture dangle our daughters out there as anymore of a tempting treat for those who would take advantage of them? Please recognize this as a step too far, because if we don’t it will only get worse.

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30. So sad that marketing has come to this. Great letter.

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31. Bravo! I agree completely, we’re making sex objects and this doesn’t empower women. A serious thing to think about!

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32. This man is absolutely right. My daughters are nearly twenty and even 10-12 years ago it was difficult trying to find clothing that didn’t make them look like little hookers. I remember one daughter picking a pair of jeans off a rack marked “slim.” I was angry. How could a clothing store market to little girls in that way? (think eating disorders). Finally, most posts in favor of this sort of thing are by ignorant women. But hey, when your a woman you can do anything you want to degrade yourself right? But to crossover to little girls? You all should be ashamed of yourselves. You are disgusting.

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33. This is just awful. What is this world coming to? I for one will NEVER buy this item for my daughter ever! The thought of my little girl wearing something like this just makes me sick! I have a son in the middle school age and even he would… never wear something with those phrases on them. This is exactly the kind of thing that brings out the perverts and makes our kids think they have to grow up faster then they should, resulting in young pregnacies and such…I as a mother am even thinking of not buying victoria secret for myself anymore. Just to think that this company is that bad, I don’t want to give them a cent.

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34. In middle school, I don’t know many kids who have jobs and the kids are not driving yet. So, how are they paying for the garments or better, WHO is paying for the garments and how are they getting to the store? Companies are going to do whatever they can to turn a profit and today’s tweens are given much more freedom than I ever was. Parents need to more than ever be involved in their teens lives. Don’t ALLOW them to buy and/or wear these items if you don’t approve. I don’t understand the hands off approach and then the complaining that the kids are out of control or doing inappropriate things. Granted, we can’t be with them 24/7 but we all can certainly be more diligent and not permit certain things and behavior and back it up. In this world, we can’t expect everyone to care about our kids like we do, so the responsibility falls on the parent to teach right from wrong and what’s appropriate and what isn’t and WHY.

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35. I agree with not put the degradinv words on the undergarments. I believe it will cause emotional harm. Uniforms are required for a specific purpose, to bring a specific mindset into effect. The undergarments will do the same. Why don’t they use terms that will edify the young ladies mindset. Princess, for example has been utilized annd has brought prosperity.

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36. As a very young mother of 16, I became interested in those panties and bras a year earlier. My sexuality had blossomed. It was forbidden in my home. If you hold a child as tightly as a spring, given a bit of room they will surely spring away. When raising my own daughter, I tried desperately to hang on to her childhood. We did NOT butt heads. I tried to guide her decisions to keep her safe. She is a successful young woman today. We had open communication, She was taught that she would reap what was sown. Teaching why something was wrong was one side of the coin. If she made that choice, SHE suffered from it. Teaching her where she went wrong after the fact and the results of that choice was far better than locking her in her room and grounding her from TV, food or friends. Little girls are all about butterflies… flowers…. and birds… it should stay that way as long as possible and not have lace and slogans shoved down their throats. This is CAPITALISM at its best…Big corporations want to corner their markets. Competition, greed, amorality…. Do you really think that these company have YOUR best interests at heart? I love pretty lacy things myself… but this is blatantly wrong in my opinion. We wonder what has happened to our society? Yes we all have an obligation to our children… raising sons not to objectify women and raising daughters not to flaunt what we have for the guys…. If people can’t see what is wrong with our society today then they are totally blind! GUARD THE INNOCENCE OF YOUR CHILDREN…. THEY CAN NEVER GET IT BACK!

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37. I second this. Being a young woman in a society that tells me this is how to be “beautiful” is sickening. God bless a father who is willing to speak what is true and honest.

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38. beautiful word of advise without getting offensive this is awesome i really like it .

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39. After reading some of these comments, one thing is clear…the people who object to this marketing ploy are parents who are interested in teaching their daughters about self worth and respect. The people who defend it are obviously not parents or are bad parents. I am quite sure arguing with them will not help.

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40. While I do completely agree with this man, I have to say that my guess as to why VS is doing this is they see the demand for it. Sadly, some young girls are being allowed to go to VS and buy things. I remember an incident when one I my children was around 9 or 10, I found some thong underwear in her room. I asked where she got them and she said from her friend. (same age, church friend) I asked where her friend got them, and low and behold, her mother buys them for her. My kid didn’t know about sex or being sexy; she just wanted them bc they were like her friend’s and pretty. (lace) I explained to her why she didn’t need those, let her know that now tht she knew she wasn’t allowed to wear them that if I found any again, there would be consequences she wouldn’t like. Then I proceeded to throw them away. And they have not come into the house again. At the end of the day, parents still have to be willing to actually parent the child. If you don’t pay attention, help them to understand why girls don’t need them, but why it’s okay for an adult lady to wear them for her husband, then they will be drawn to things like this. Shame on VS for making a line for kids, but shame on parents as well for not teaching their children what is age appropriate an what is not.

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41. Well said, and I completely agree! My daughter will not be permitted to wear this garbage be it from VS or walmart, it has nothing to do with becoming a young woman it has to do with media and companies needing a bigger market and what better then the ever so emotional and very easy pressured to fit in middle grade school girl…….these people should consider if they would want their “little girl” wearing call me across the front of her thong or “feeling lucky” problem is that half these companies much like La Senza in Canada are owned by MEN who have no children and are pigs!

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42. Not buying for my nieces. Too inappropriate for 11 and 6. It’s tough to find age appropriate swimwear for them too. Why do parents buy this stuff? I won’t even buy my niece pants with words on the butt.

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43. Thank you for this letter Reverend. As the mother of a baby girl I echo your concerns and appreciate that you have addressed this issue.

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44. I am a mothet of three girls, another on the way, and I totally agree w you! I yhink its sad what.this culture thinks beauty is and the amour ot lacj of clothes these children wear. I’d love to hear if Victoria Secrets answered?

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45. I am the mother of a 10 year old girl. I buy her underwear – and can tell you I would not buy this for her. Unfortunately, I know other parents that seem to live thru their children , and buy anything that is popular. Sad but true.

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46. As a mother of 4 girls ages 11 – 16, I can tell you that I have never taken them into Victoria’s Secret, nor do I have any intention of doing so. I shopped there when I was a young adult, but have been very disappointed with the marketing choices they’ve been making. This line of undergarments they’ve chosen to market to these young girls has simply reinforced in my mind that my choice not to do business with them is the right one.

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47. I directed an event for junior high / senior high girls that landed in the Guinness Book of World Records for the World’s largest sleepover 2005. The event drew girls from Virginia, DC, Maryland, Delaware & Philadelphia. 1,045 in attendance. Many of these girls are my friends on Facebook and will be happy to send this message to them to share with their friends. Thanks for being bold & courageous!

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48. I feel that it’s not appropiate, for young Middle School aged kids….they just left elementary school!! I think this all will depend on the parents….getting fitted happens in alot of stores….Parks Belk…Sears…. you don’t HAVE to take them to a intimate store to be fitted….they still can have a frilly Bra and Panties without all the words on them….but I truely think that the Parent….will and should decide what they are gonna spend thier money on!! MOM and DAD are most likely NOT gonna spend thier money on Sexy Undies for thier 12,13 & 14yr olds…..I as a parent am most definatly not going too!! and I understand that our kids need and want self confidence….But I don’t feel it’s gonna come from a set of sexy underwear…. I know thier will be other kids with these, and in Gym Class some are gonna show them off and probly go as far as to say “hey? when are you gonna get some??” But again I think it will come down to the parents…. 🙂

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49. Kudos to this father. Why is VS even making a children’s line? It should be an adult store only-because they sell sex, plain & simple. I never even go in there, it embarrasses me.

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50. As the mother of a 13 year old I am well aware of what my child wears. We go in and look at Victoria’s Secret and there are cute NON sexy choices…that being said however.. I would NEVER buy underwear that has the sayings he said they would have. “Sexy” and 13 do NOT mix! I do not even let her use the word sexy! She is BEAUTIFUL and I refuse to let her as a young girl start dressing to “feel sexy” because she’s NOT. Sexy belongs in an adult stage.

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